One of my pet peeves is when I ask a question of someone, and they reinterpret my question (without communicating that reinterpretation), then give me the answer to THEIR question.
I’ll be the first to say that is possible for someone to form their question wrong, but I give them the benefit of the doubt and give them the answer to their question FIRST, and then restate the question I think they want for the answer I think they’re looking for.
Their question: “What time does the plane take off for Chicago?”
My answer: “11AM, but think you’re asking because you want to know when I’m leaving. I decided to drive instead of flying and will be leaving at 9AM.”
I allow for the possibility that their question IS the right question and give them their answer immediately, even though all of the conversation context suggests they’re not interested in the plane departure, but instead my travel plans. Doing this avoids so many annoying conversations of confusion and frustration on both people’s parts.
When asked on an informational topic, I give the one or two sentence answer, then ask “Does that answer your question or would you like more detail?” Lots of times people want just a short answer, but a surprising amount they ask for more detail and I’m happy to give it. Consent is important.
Lastly, I assume I’m missing information and can learn from others. When someone says something that doesn’t match my understanding, I ask them to explain it so I can learn. I’d rather have correct knowledge than be “right”.
Empathy.
One of my pet peeves is when I ask a question of someone, and they reinterpret my question (without communicating that reinterpretation), then give me the answer to THEIR question.
I’ll be the first to say that is possible for someone to form their question wrong, but I give them the benefit of the doubt and give them the answer to their question FIRST, and then restate the question I think they want for the answer I think they’re looking for.
Their question: “What time does the plane take off for Chicago?”
My answer: “11AM, but think you’re asking because you want to know when I’m leaving. I decided to drive instead of flying and will be leaving at 9AM.”
I allow for the possibility that their question IS the right question and give them their answer immediately, even though all of the conversation context suggests they’re not interested in the plane departure, but instead my travel plans. Doing this avoids so many annoying conversations of confusion and frustration on both people’s parts.
When asked on an informational topic, I give the one or two sentence answer, then ask “Does that answer your question or would you like more detail?” Lots of times people want just a short answer, but a surprising amount they ask for more detail and I’m happy to give it. Consent is important.
Lastly, I assume I’m missing information and can learn from others. When someone says something that doesn’t match my understanding, I ask them to explain it so I can learn. I’d rather have correct knowledge than be “right”.