Warning: The content of this post might be troubling, especially to those with a sensitivity to nightmares or suicide.
I have nightmares that turn into meta-nightmares. I will be in a dream and something threatening is trying to get me. I notice that what is happening is unrealistic or nonsensical, so I tell myself I’m in a nightmare and try to wake myself up. I try yelling as loud as possible, shaking, slapping myself awake, and just telling myself over and over to wake up. I even dream that in my bed in my bedroom fighting through sleep paralysis while trying waking up, while the threat is coming to my bedroom. It’s terrifying. Many times, I wake up happy I was able to finally escape the nightmare, only to realize I’m actually still asleep and the nightmare resumes. It’s very exhausting and disappointing because I will go through many cycles per night (up to 10 times) of thinking I wake up only to be in the nightmare again. It’s like I learn to not be hopeful that it’s over.
On a few occasions where the threat was so severe that I rather die, I have killed myself in the dream, and that works but it is terrifying and I wake up as if it were really happening. I wake up breathing heavily, sweating, super confused, and scared to go back to sleep again. It’s like I’m checking if everything is real and having to come to terms that I just committed suicide in my dreams. This only happens when I know I am going to die in the nightmare and rather end it on my own terms. So while it works, it’s not really an option in nightmares where the threat isn’t certain death since they seem so real in the moment. I also don’t want to build a mental habit of committing suicide every time I’m scared for obvious reasons.
In general, the nightmares seem to come in episodes of a few months. They then go away seemingly out of nowhere, and I’m back to normal dreams. I’m currently in the beginning of a new episode, so I’m trying to prepare for the next few months. I don’t have the option to speak with a therapist. I’m looking for remedy that I can employ myself. It can be anything, but I really enjoy learning, so if there is a book or skill recommendation, I would highly appreciate it!
Any tips on how to wake up during nightmares or any other remedies?
So id caution against resorting to extreme measures, especially if you are unsure of what is reality. That can have very permanent consequences.
It sounds like you’re close to being aware its a dream when its happening. You can start to recognize the signs and when that happens you should be able to assert control over your dream. Check out lucid dreaming, spinning around in the dream is a popular technique.
When I was young until about 16 I had night terrors. ID walk around my house seeing demons trying to get in. Would wake my parents up by slamming doors and putting sticks in the windows to stop them from opening. Spooky shit would crawl down the walls, dead ghost girls would climb into my bed. Grim reaper would stand in the middle of the room imperceptibly moving to stare at me with hollow sockets. They were terrifying ordeals and I feel you. My dreams went away when I started smoking pot honestly. Once I was done with that the horror movie dreams came back but not the night terrors. I write the real fucked up ones down as outlines to short stories. Maybe one day I will write a book thats a collection of them. Helps me cope.
Yep! It’s that scary doom feeling that no matter what you do, you can’t avoid the fear. It’s exhausting.
So id caution against resorting to extreme measures, especially if you are unsure of what is reality. That can have very permanent consequences.
Exactly! I think this is why I only employ them when the outcome is the same, so I choose a favorable method in which I am in control…ooh, maybe there’s something related to control that I need to think about. Thank you!
You’re welcome friend. Hope you find a method that works for you
I suffer night terrors, not horribly frequently, but frequently enough that they are memorable experiences. I wake up screaming and I apparently scream very loudly.
Entertainingly they have a common theme across all the years I’ve been having them (they started in my teens, so over 40 years). The always feature men in black leather trenchcoats (think SS), dogs, concertina razor wire, an cliff’s edges.
I always end up dead either from machine gun fire or going over the cliff.
I blame The Great Escape.
I would love to be able to wake up before the screaming starts.
lucid dreaming would be my recommendation… its a little hard to do, but a great way is to ask yourself ‘how did I get here’ every time you cross a threshold like a doorway or hallway. eventually you’ll start asking yourself this in your sleep, and if you have no idea, you’re dreaming… this is normally when i fly away.
I had something similar ptsd and all that jazz i couldn’t wake up but I found learning about lucid dreaming helped me control my dreams to be something I wanted. It was like my own holodeck. It doesn’t always work if i go to bed stressed out but it helps on the nights I can realize I’m dreaming.
Yep, I’m going to look into learning about lucid dreaming. Thank you!
When you you’re dreaming you’re usually in a lighter stage of sleep. I was able to use this to close my eyes tightly on my dream and become aware of my actual body and not my dream body, so that when I opened my eyes I’d be awake. Doesn’t always work but it’s one more thing to try.
I’ll give it a shot. Thank you!
Did you try being bored by it? “Oh it’s one of those nightmares again, let’s get it over with. Where is the monster chasing me? Ah, there it comes, yes, eat me, I’m so scared, aaaah”
I never had such extreme episodes but enough that I did actually get bored by them.
What’s important to say is that I was a very anxious person, scared of everything. I did decide to start confronting my fears and getting rid of them. Part of it was accepting the fears and just letting myself be scared without the judgement of fear being bad. Accepting the fear as part of myself and my psyche. Getting bored of nightmares definitely coincided somewhere around that time.
So yeah, I would suggest working to solve your issues in waking life.
This is a great suggestion. I have had repeating nightmares in the past that resolved by confronting the fear in my dreams. The doom did not realize and the dreams eventually stopped afterward. Let’s see if I can remember to try it in the dreams and how it turns out. I’ll let you know if I’m able to do it. Thank you!
Any tips on how to wake up during nightmares
I’ve had vivid nightmares for the last 10 years due to antidepressants and on/off cannabis use.
Even if the situation is terrifying, I eventually found peace in knowing I’m getting rest.
Let’s say I wake up now and can’t go back to sleep. It’ll be what, like 2am/3am? Now the rest of my day is fucked. Was it really worth waking up?
I too think lucid dreaming is the way to go. Maybe there are even some smart watches that can detect the increased heartrate and wake you. I know the Garmin Watches scream loudly af if they detect an irregular heartbeat.
One more thing on Lucid dreaming tho. Go slow and either take full control immediately to wake up or try to do only the smallest corrections if you want to stay in your dream At least for me it feels terrible when your consciousness takes over from your subconscious. It feels like I’m tearing my mind apart, and if I’d had to guess it’s the closest that I will ever feel to going insane.
I have CPTSD, and suffer from nightmares, and night terrors. I have found a small dose of cannabis (≈3mg) just before bed has practically eliminated their occurrence. Might be worth a try.
As far as waking up, you might want to try jumping, in your dream, which can lead to flying/escaping. Or spinning in a circle, which can lead to teleportation. Either of which may provide escape routes, or lead to waking.
I can’t really do cannabis, but jumping and spinning sound like they might work. Thank you!
I rarely realize when I’m dreaming, but when I do, those are some of the BEST dreams! Once I realize that it’s not real, I think “Wait, in THIS world, I’m in charge!” and I take control.
I know you can’t always realize the situation in your dreams, but maybe a perspective change could help.
Instead of trying to escape, embrace it! Pull out your holy hand grenade, count to three (5 is right out), and chuck it at the nightmare!
Before you go to sleep, focus on how excited you are to go in and defeat your monsters! Think about your flaming sword of virtue and how it will cut through anything that dares challenge your power in your own domain! Keep thoughts of victory and power in your mind and when you are in the thick of that nightmare, you will remember that you are in control and you will win that battle!
You created those nightmares, and until you know that you can beat them, you will continue to create them.
Between another comment and yours, I think what my dreams are representing are how little control I feel I have over anything in my life. I just have to prepare for the worst. That’s what I’m feeling.
I couldn’t agree more. You feel helpless, and that carries over into your dreams.
You know you are in a nightmare, as in you become lucid? I would thank my nightmare for letting me know I am dreaming. Not try to wake up. Try to make friends with it, to defuse the terror. That knowledge that it’s a dream is valuable. Have done this several times myself, but my nightmares aren’t necessarily about terrifying situations, it’s more like the fear comes first then my mind sort of builds around it. So everyday things can be terrifying in nightmares but in regular dreams I could be in objectively terrifying situations and not care, and particularly in lucid dreams that is true.
Best of luck to you, may you have calm and restful sleep.
The thing is that in the dream I think that my real-awake body is in physical danger, so I need to wake up to protect myself from the real danger, but I can’t wake up. It’s like I’m paralyzed and can’t do anything to protect myself from the impending doom that feels very real in the dream. If it was just normal nightmares, I would generally be fine with them except for the poor sleep. These new ones are something else because they feel so real since they involve my real-awake body.
Yeah, I think you are on the right track with sleep apnea then. Which can be life threatening, so not shocking your mind might be alarmed. This might be a question for a doctor.
While the lucid dreaming comments may work, there is a lot of trial/error/luck to it, I think.
I had accidental lucid dreaming as a kid but have failed to do so as an adult. I have tried numerous times, even with considering suggestions from people online. Therefore, I will come at this from experiences I have had without intentional lucid dreaming. (Possible that I reached a point of accidental lucid dreaming during these, but hope it helps, nonetheless!)
Finding “perfect” hiding places after/during a chase.
Recognizing that waking up from a similar/the same situation very recently (eg the movie Inception) is basically impossible. Even if you have brain damage, the duration of a day and night are fairly difficult to ignore. Brain damage or medicine/drug use is more like losing chunks of time that feel lost vs waking up repeatededly and/or in short order.
I (at least once recently) had a scare that felt like sleep paralysis and/or attempted demonic possession. Basically, I was sleeping but “felt” awake but couldn’t move/make sound and felt like darkness was “hunting” me. It was scary af. I just kept trying to scream or yell “ahhh”. I think I tried it about 8+ times before I woke up finally. Each time I screamed, it got louder…slowly. I knew I was breaking free slowly, but it was extremely scary and I felt like if I didn’t escape, I would be trapped/taken forever.
Depending on the feeling of the dream, you can sometimes play in/with it. This touches on the accidental side of lucid dreaming, I think, but I have had variations of feeling afraid and then treating it as a game, such as hide’n’seek or even flipping it to start finding/hunting the thing that feels like the agressor. Not sure I recall enough details to explain specific examples, but hope this general explanation helps!
Edit: typo
I have a technique, but I don’t know if it applies to anybody else: whenever I want to wake up from a dream, I shut my eyes and squeeze them tight, then open them really fast/hard. When I do the opening part, I’m always awakened.
Hope it helps…