With some dogs, anyone in the room is smelling their feet.

That pronunciation always drives me wild! it only makes sense to call it data.

What, you don’t like cold soured apple curd tart cream? It has nutmeg in it!

Is it eating a pork rind?

Showering is very difficult with broken hands.

Listen. If you separate the dessert side, and debone and shred that chicken, I would 100% try the bite with the grape on it.

You. Get out.

That is bizarre! Do you think she might have weird stomach acid production? Like, maybe she uses the string to evacuate some sort of gross stomach fluid? I am going to lose sleep over this

Holy crap. I’ve lived in Portland for the last 2 years and I have been shocked by how unattractive everyone is. I’m not saying I’m a model or anything, but JFC it’s like everyone hovers around a 4-5

drunk lush of a woman

I am certainly not here to be all like MEN DO IT TOO but I felt the need to drop an anecdote about a lead singer in a band I toured with once. He only drank black label beer, no liquor. He blacked out every night and pissed all the beds he met lol

Fucking SAME. I bartended and served through college (my degree doesn’t pay well due to YouTube tutorials that have flourished in my industry, lol ouch) and after, and then finally at 30 I started temping in manufacturing, which led to me permanently hired at a huge company with ridiculous benefits, and am now a supervisor in engine assembly that will make 6 figures in 3 years.

I desperately wish I had gone into trade school when I was 18.

Lol the account is minutes, maybe hours old. What a silly little troll

“But we don’t allow people to drink-drive, yet we keep putting them up in aircraft at 33,000ft.”

Aaah, so the problem is drunk pilots. I can get behind a two-drink maximum for flying a plane. Although, in “Flight” the guy flew a plane upside down hammered…so maybe it should be a two-drink minimum to get maximum innovation.

ETA: I prob should have added /s

I fell for it and was momentarily outraged. Goke’s on me.

“You miss every shot you don’t take!” or similar. It’s useless, makes no sense, and is disrespectful to yourself and others.

Which is why I love saying it to pricks at work.

If you wanna get real pedantic about it, millennials are considered to be FROM 1981 to 1996. I was born a few years after you, and I get called an Elder Millennial. Which always makes me imagine those Teletubbie Elders and they’re bad ass.

ETA: I don’t think you can ever escape the “you’re too young to understand” crowd of GenX haters. I caught that shade too, which is extremely boring and rude lol

trying to remove the best tool I’ve got

You know what? They told me they were coming for my guns 30 years ago and I ain’t seen a dadgum one of em try…YET

Hey super hunky dream guy! You said we should meet for lunch, what was that restaurant you mentioned?

Next - Too Close

I recall my friends and I singing some of these lyrics when we were 11-12 with zero idea that it’s blatantly about a hard dick. The radio channel that played it didn’t come in too well where I lived, so we didn’t know 99% of the song, only the melody.

A lot of vinegar based sauces have shelf life past their expiration just sitting in a cupboard. However, sauces that have more fruits/general chunks of junks should definitely live in the fridge and be carefully monitored for mold.

Also, almost all condiments you use at restaurants (ketchup, mustard, hot sauce) are not stored in the cooler overnight. BUT! The turn-around for new condiment bottles is fairly quick.

I store ketchup in the fridge out of parental habit.