For the sake of the plot, choose whichever zombie type fits your plans the best.
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Shelter in place for a while until decomposition of their muscles makes them completely ineffectual and unable to actually move.
Shouldn’t take long.
Probably just shoot myself.
I’m gonna eat a lot of brains until the protagonist blows my head off with an unrealistic shotgun.
For me that’s a no-brainer.
My jaw dropped
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this to all blow over.
Relevant XKCD : https://xkcd.com/599/
Honestly? Probably die
My plan, in its entirety:
BRAAAAINS!!!
I’ve found the zombie!
Die, I guess. On the off chance that I survive the first few days, try to build a civilization.
I feel like that in this timeline we should already start and try to build a civilization
Hoard toilet paper.
Also, buy truckloads of hand sanitizer
I’m not telling you my plan zombie, but rest assured, once you’re defeated, we’ll all get taken out by some zombie-denier anyways.
My friends have had plans for this situation since highschool. We meet at our buddies house in the woods. We commandeer one of his neighbors tanks (his neighbor has one of the largest private collection of tanks). We take said tank (which can run off pretty much any liquid that burns) and drive it to SF where we then forcibly take control of a ferry and drive ourselves and the tank with enough supplies to sustain ourselves for at least a month on Alcatraz.
We figure by the end of the month most zombies will have decayed beyond mobility and should any other humans attempt to join us that we don’t want on the island with us… Well we have a tank.
How are you going to get the Tanks away from the neighbor? They can fight you off… They have tanks.
Oh he liked all of us. We used to help him set up his 4th of July demonstration for the neighborhood every year where he would fire a tank shell into the mountainside along with some fire works . We talked to him about our plan on more than one occasion.
Oooh okay, neighbor is in on the plan. That is a good plan!
My husband always says he will “get guns” and I’m always like, how are you gonna get the guns away from the people that already have them? You’re not going to be the first to get to a gun store and you’re not going to beat up the guys who have guns.
Realistic zombies: do nothing, it will pass quickly, or I will catch it too. If I don’t catch it I shelter on place for a few days
Movie zombies of any kind: kill myself, I’m not delusional, that world sucks and my chances are tiny
How do realistic zombies look like?
Like corpses. And corpses don’t tend to be particularly strong or fast once they start rotting. Unless there’s some sort of magic involved to stop the decomposition process, they’ll likely all die out as they rot. The fresher zombies will take a few weeks to become inert, but that’s a blip in the radar in the grand scheme of things.
But the bigger issue then becomes what caused it. If it was something like a prion disease, (like Mad Cow Disease) then you’re likely fucked even after the zombies all rot; Prions don’t decompose, and (if the zombie outbreak was big enough) you’re almost guaranteed to catch it via dirty soil exposure (either directly, or via tainted produce that was grown where a zombie died) eventually.
My head cannon for “realistic” zombies. is Mel Brooks’, the writer of 'zombie survival guide and ‘world war z’ (no relation to the movie or the game) esque zombies.
Max Brooks, Mel is his father. I’d expect a Mel Brooks-written Zombie guide would be a bit…different…
Thanks for the correction :) at least I was only of by 2 letters. Or only got 1/3 correct depending on your level of pessimism
Devouring as many brains as possible, I guess.
