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BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 25 days ago

Gwyneth Paltrow does not approve.

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Gwyneth Paltrow does not approve.

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BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 25 days ago
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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    I know men must look at this and think “wtf is a vaginal spa?”, but I would like to say that as a woman I don’t know wtf it is either

    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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      You’re so lucky to be able to have yours be portable. 😞 The only penile spas I’ve ever seen are permanently installed in a wall. No clue how they work either.

      • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        Oh those that are installed in truckstop bathrooms?

        • 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          FOR GLORY!

          • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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            25 days ago

          • kautau@lemmy.world
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            25 days ago

          • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            24 days ago

            https://m.imdb.com/title/tt12724306/

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOP
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      24 days ago

      As a fellow woman I have no idea either. I just feel like Gwyneth Paltrow is involved SOMEHOW by default.

      • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        What kind of drug do you think she takes to be so obsessed with her vagina?

        • M137@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          I gotta say, I’d be pretty obsessed with mine too if I were a woman. I don’t like her or approve of the dumb and often disturbing shit she does, but I can’t fault her for that specific thing.

          • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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            24 days ago

            There is a time and a place to play with your gigi.

        • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          Testosterone?

      • Mustakrakish@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        My first thought is that its a fancy dueche, so yeah Gwyneth Paltrow seems right.

      • gmtom@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        If she was involved there would be a tube attached with a gas mask on the other end.

    • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      My guess is some kind of douche product marketed as a vaginal spa instead of as a douche

    • TragicNotCute@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I’m not going to bother searching to confirm, but I’m pretty sure it’s a steam generator that you sit on. I don’t know why you’d want that.

      • fartsparkles@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        I don’t know why everyone is so clueless. Women are carrying these things around with them everywhere.

        Image

        What’s your favourite vagina tea? I’m partial to Lady Grey or Red Bush.

        Image

        • TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          25 days ago

          wow. good find, thank you.

          so… how is steam good for the vaginal ecosystem? seems like that would support bacterial growth, i guess? Hopefully the kind of organisms you want, and not just… yeast

          • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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            24 days ago

            I don’t know anyone dumb enough to find out. That is viscerally unpleasant to imagine doing. It’s some of the most sensitive tissue on your body and you’re supposed to sit directly over water that was boiling a few minutes ago?

            • waz@feddit.uk
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              24 days ago

              I can’t work out, how kinder eggs can’t have toys inside them in the US, in case some kid scarfs the whole thing in one go, but a product that could cause serious scalding by not following the steps exactly, especially to such sensitive skin could possibly be ok?

              • Jhex@lemmy.world
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                24 days ago

                easy… girls dumb enough to chrke on kinder eggs grow to be dumb enough to poach their vag

                • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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                  24 days ago

                  Then shouldn’t they both be illegal?

            • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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              24 days ago

              If I wanted that, I’d use the hand-held shower head.

              • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                24 days ago

                No but see that’s water, not tea

          • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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            24 days ago

            Fungal growth too

        • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          24 days ago

          and enjoy

          Uh… So… How?

        • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          This is why sex ed is so important in our schools. Puritanical Republicans are why so many poor American kids who grow up in red states don’t know about basic things like periods, contraception, and vaginal spas.

      • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        Ioh god! magine burning your vagina with steam?!

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      This is hilarious.

      To me it’s not so much about what it is, but rather why would anyone buy it? Showers are free, and probably less embarrassing to have and use.

  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    never used

    box looks more beat up than a fed ex delivery

    Riiiiight.

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      if you think her box looks beat to hell you should see her vagina.

      • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        …you should see her vagina.

        No thanks. I’d imagine roast beef looks more appealing.

        • nomy@lemmy.zip
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          24 days ago

          Jokes on you I fuckin love Arbys.

        • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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          You flew too high on wings of pastrami.

  • zqwzzle@lemmy.ca
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    “Clam bake” would have been a better name

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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      24 days ago

      Knock-offs include: Steamed Clams and the Albany-exclusive Steamed Hams.

    • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Portable Taqueria

  • AugustWest@lemmy.world
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    It wasn’t actually Hemingway. Versions of the story can be found from 1906 when Hemingway was 7, and there is apparently no mention of a connection between him and the story before the 1990s.

    • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Him and what story? Anyone interested in elucidating?

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        For sale: baby shoes, never worn

        It’s a famous “six-word story” that is usually attributed to Ernest Hemingway. This meme’s framing is a reference/parody of it.

      • rmuk@feddit.uk
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        23 days ago

        Source: xkcd

      • tyr0sine@mander.xyz
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        24 days ago

        baby shoes, never worn?

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

  • Zier@fedia.io
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    25 days ago

    Finally, something to make camping trips interesting again!!!

  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca
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    25 days ago

    “For a relaxed vagina, on the go!”

  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Maybe not a novel, but probably an airport paperback.

  • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works
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    24 days ago

    I would like one of these but like for my cock

    • Asidonhopo@lemmy.world
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      24 days ago

      Okay…

      So I bought a handheld garment steamer for knitting projects and for steaming wrinkles out of clothes from storage or whatever. I, like most people, had been hearing about vaginal steaming for some time with mixed bafflement and curiosity. One brisk November night alone in my apartment, I was eyeing the device and I figured, whats the harm, why not give it a try?

      So I fill the steamer with water from the tap and set it on the floor and take a seat in my swivel chair a safe distance in front of it, disrobed from the waist down. The steamer heats up slowly, and I slide forward a bit as the seductive white vapor emerges with increasing force. After five minutes of carefully steaming my dick, balls and ass with an increasing look of delight on my face, I’m a convert.

      If you ever have that kind of week where they’re feeling sticky or sweaty, you’ve got aching, vaguely itchy balls or it’s all just lacking that certain je ne sais quoi, and a shower doesn’t help, the steam does something amazing to open the pores, make all the assorted skin and sinew of one’s nether regions toned and glowing and you sweat away all the soap and sweat residue and whatnot in a way that showering or bathing could never approach. It’s shocking, I can’t fully explain how renewing it is, or why, but it works, almost on a spiritual level. I’ve never mentioned this to another soul and doubt I ever will.

      I’m actually filling up the steamer now despite the heat as it’s been a few months since my last foray into pelvic steaming and I yearn for that soothing, forbidden relaxation. I will sleep like a baby tonight.

      Oh, and do it away from electronics, I bricked a desktop by getting too much second-hand steam in it one day.

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      just tape a garden hose to your dick?

      playing with himself

      • dickalan@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        Watching the conservatives in America get their panties in a bunch over this cartoon was sickening and hilarious

        • ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world
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          I forget the name of this cartoon, what is it? I got a kick out of it when I heard about it a few years ago

          • dickalan@lemmy.world
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            23 days ago

            John Dillermand

  • TachyonTele@piefed.social
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    That box is almost as used as OPs mom

  • the_radness@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    I love steamed clams!

  • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    When Paltrow was selling those candles that smelled like her vagina, I bought one. It smelled like ass. Turns out I had it upside down.

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