Just curious. Because I think it’s very “rude” in the Chinese Culture where I grew up in, to use the real names of people older than you. You have to address them by relationship like “father/dad” or “older brother” or “oldest aunt” “2nd aunt” “3rd aunt” (ordered by who was born first). Like I don’t think you are supposed to say Aunt [Name] or Uncle [Name]. Names are never used, only the relationship.
I’m under the impression that some Westerners, particularly Americans, apparantly are on first-name basis with parents… like either because they are very close, or very distant… is that really a thing irl, or is that just the media? I think I saw TV/Movie scenes where the kids (or maybe adult children) called their parent by their first names.
My second son calls his mother and I by our first names and has done since he was 5. None of our other kids do that, it is something he decided to do, and has continued. He is now 16
I did, and my child does. We have learned that we’re both autistic. Maybe something to look into lol
We already know that he is, and so am I
I mostly call my moms by their first names. I almost never directly refer to them as “mom.” When talking about them to people who know them, I refer to them by their names. Basically only call them my mom to people who don’t know my parents.
I’m in the US. But I think part of the reason I do that is having multiple moms. OTOH, they are trying to teach our niece to call them grammy and nana and I know my cousins have a similar way of differentiating their moms.
My son calls me mum but his other mum (my wife) by her first name.
I’ve never called my parents by their first names, and I’ve never known someone who did.
I called my grandparents “Grandma and Grandpa [Last Name]”. But my aunts and uncles were “Aunt [First Name]” and “Uncle [First Name]”. I would say that’s pretty standard for the USA.
Same in Australia
I’ve probably done it occasionally, when calling them in a public space shouting ‘Daaad’ as an adult feels a bit weird. Same with talking about them to a third person, I might use their names rather than say “my mum” the whole time.
But face to face, talking with them? It’d feel pretty weird, too impersonal and distant. If I saw someone else doing it tontjeir parents, I’d probably note it as unusual, but would be shocked.
I’m German and switched from Mama/Papa (mom/dad) to their first names sometime in my early teens as did my sister. I couldn’t say how exactly it happened—just felt too old to use the former. But that’s not universal here; I know people who still use the nicknames in their forties.
I only use my parents’ first names when trying to get their attention from a distance.
Additionally if the phrase mom/dad already failed to get their attention, or if I’m in a location with many other moms/dads.
I call my parents ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ to their face, or ‘my mother’ and ‘my father’ to others, unless they specifically ask what their name is. I call my grandmas ‘Grandma [name]’, and my grandfather by a cultural title. Aunts and uncles I call ‘Aunt [name]’ to differentiate them. Siblings and cousins I call by their name.
I am from the UK
I’m Dutch. I do pretty much the same.
particularly Americans, apparantly are on first-name basis with parents… like either because they are very close, or very distant…
American here - I’ve known a couple of people that used their parents’ first names, but it’s pretty rare. I’m no/low contact with my father, and I’ve thought of just using his first name because I don’t feel like he deserves to be called “dad,” but I’ve called him dad my whole live and I think it would just feel weird to call him by his first name.
The only one I know personally has a very bad relationship with her mother, so she intentionally keeps a distance.
I know some do it even if they have a great relationship. It feels weird to me because it’s not the norm. Are they making a statement of some kind?
But basically only parents and grandparents are not called by name here. Uncles and aunts only when you’re young.
Yeah i do. My mother told me that when i was young, other moms judged her for it, like it means she is not my mother or some shit. But also she told me, at the public pool, every time a child yelled mom/dad ALL parents had to look to see if it was their child while she could relax until she heard explicitly her name.
One friend of mine does that. I think it’s because his parents weren’t very close when he was growing up.
I call my mom, “Gestating progenitor” as an inside joke but anytime I call her by her name she calls it out. Tho, I get it. Worked pretty hard not to get called mom
Stopped using “mom” and “dad” at about the same time as I moved out. Can’t really explain exactly why, just seemed like part of growing up amd becoming an independent adult of my own.
/Swede
Yeah I do. Mainly it’s because my dad was always off working and so my grandparents, or his parents, did most of the work of raising me. And since he was their son, of course they were in the habit of calling him by his name. It stuck.
I have called my dad by his first name almost my whole life.
