I have been prepping my home for the last five hours and I’m exhausted. Couldn’t really do it sooner because I was working. My family always make me feel bad when there is cat hair or dust somewhere. Is it okay to put the bar a little lower? Would it be okay to just do less? What are your own standards about cleaning?
I don’t clean regularly, given that I have neither children nor pets. When I am expecting guests over, I just make sure that the toilet and sink are clean and that the kitchen is cleared up and dishes are done. And, of course, vacuuming the floors.
After all, an appartement (or house) is a place where someone lives, and thus, things are in use constantly and lying around. It’s not supposed to be a furniture-store display.
You don’t have to live up to any kind of ridiculous standard, but you have to embrace all of the unpleasant tasks that come with inviting people to your space.
The biggest one is that you can’t have people leaving filthy and covered in cat hair.
I know you have a cat, but you have to figure out how to balance your cat ownership and your desire or intention to host people in your home.
Clean the cat hair. Vacuum the furniture. Think about how you would feel if you had a cat allergy and had to go to somebody’s home and drag all that filth home with you.
Don’t get me wrong, I like cats, but let’s be real.
I get that. What is difficult for me is that I am the person in my family living closest to everyone. Plus, my parents, who are getting older, don’t want to host anymore. I therefore became the de facto host without wanting to be one. But my family have such a high standard of cleaning that I find it difficult to have them over. For example, yesterday, they teased me about the fact that my bedside table was messy, in my own bedroom. I’m tired.
I refuse to accept that you’re looking for any answer.
I think validation is what you’re seeking and we can’t give that to you.
I think it comes down to one of two things, reimagine your relationship with your family, or clean your place.
? I don’t understand your comment, but thanks anyway.
If my family complains about my house I gladly thank them for volunteering and show them where the cleaning supplies is
I’m really sorry, but *are
There’s only one cleaning supply, that’s why their family complains
What am I? A pirate?
In the general case my house is clean because I find it to be so. However you feel about that is on you(grandma I’m looking at you), trying to elevate yourself by picking apart other people is toxic.
If I am hosting I will make it nice. I chose to host and so I chose a big event and I will decorate and deep clean and move stuff into the garage and whatever else.
On a random day if you show up or are coming over I am doing absolutely nothing different. I don’t expect you to either. We are friends/family and I take you as you are. I expect the same.
For specifics on the day to day. There are never dirty dishes in my sink that’s about all I can say lol.
To answer your question - your judgemental family is the problem, not your cleaning. I have my own (pretty loose) cleaning standards, they don’t apply to others. If someone invites me to their house, it would have to be pretty dirty before I might say something, and even then more because I might be worried about them.
We do kind of a lot of ongoing maintenance, run the Roomba twice a day and have help - we pay for every other week deep cleaning. But generally speaking yes there is cat hair and dust. We live in the world, the world is made of dirt.
Yeah, thanks for that. I feel like I have a pretty high standard of cleanliness, after all I grew up with my parents, who are very nitpicky about it, but I never tell anyone I’m visiting that there is any problem with their own cleaning. Everyone has a life and their own responsibilities. I just wanted to see where the bar was for people.
I have fully embraced “lived in hosting”.
I live here. My wife lives here. My cat lives here. I’m not going to try and pretend this isn’t a home and make it spotless for guests. Anyone who complains is probably not the sort of person I want around. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a pig sty, the dishes are done, I vacuum, and clean the bathrooms and such. But seriously, no one has time to make the house perfect. That comes from magazines and TV where there’s money hiring cleaning crews you don’t see or something.
That comes from magazines and TV where there’s money hiring cleaning crews you don’t see or something.
I have some extended family making bank in oil trade, very wealthy, and it’s such a trip listening to them talk about life.
Nannies for their kids that come to them. Grocery delivery. Delivery of almost everything, rarely go to the store themselves. House cleaners/maids that do everything. Landscapers. People to drive their kids to and from extracurriculars. Notice each of these is plural. The only thing I can think of that they don’t have is a chef.
And they try to be down to earth, but their scale is skewed. Like they get thay most people have less time, but they expect the average person to still have like half the time they do, rather than like 1/10th at best.
They have so fucking much free time, and they use it to keep their marriage and family strong. Date nights every week. Multiple family game nights each week. Both of the parents have rich social lives of their own, hobbies they have time to pursue.
It’s astounding just how much of a difference the amount of free time available to them (due to having people to take care of the constant neverending life stuff for them) makes to their quality of life. Most direct example I’ve ever seen of the difference wealth can make.
And their house always looks “HGTV ready”.
“I, too, live in my house” is what I say to friends who start feeling embarrassed about their conditions. There is a bar for what I can tolerate, but it’s mostly about hygiene. Lots of animal fur? Well just let me have a seat that isn’t covered in fur. If it’s a sheet over the couch, so be it. But my bar is somewhere above “smells like cat piss and there’s dried puke on the carpet”. Having cats for 30 years, I get it, it’s a hassle, but I don’t want to be there. Food containers are another thing that can bug me. Empty? Throw it out. Still has food that should have been refrigerated yesterday? Definitely clear garbage at this point. I’ll take a greasy, crumby stove over that, easily. Last spot, really, is the bathroom. Sticky or discolored surfaces are a problem.
But cluttered areas? Stacks of mail? Bad organization? No organization? Whatever. With any of this, I liked you as a friend before, and I’ll like you as a friend after. Maybe I don’t want to come over, but it’s not like I’m going to use your living situation as judgement on who I thought you were outside.
Pareto Principle. Focus on the 20% of chores that get you 80% of your cleanliness. Just found this, which seems to give a decent explanation:
https://www.cleaningchecklist.org/what-is-the-80-20-rule-house-cleaning/
That sounds like a good idea but, man! That’s a very chatgpt site.
Hardly even looked at it, honestly, just grabbed the first article that seemed to align with what I was describing, haha
Pareto principle definitely applies here. I have a similar cleaning pattern, with tidying and cleaning being grouped together.
I’d be curious about the grouping you do. I usually do the tidying before the rest what do you mean with cleaning at the same time?
Hair and dust are like the most difficult things to keep your home or apartment clean from. Because dust accumulates just by what is in the air, it’s inescapable. The best you can do is just grab cleaners that’ll at least postpone it a little but you’re always going to get dust. Hair, same deal, you’re always going to get hair somewhere, find hair somewhere or whatnot.
Just got to accept some things are impossible to keep clean for long periods. Just focus on what you can clean, give things a wipe down at least and call it good.
I agree with others here when they say that if they have a problem with it, they can help clean. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone coming in just to complain-- usually family members.
“Are those ALL dirty dishes?” “There’s so much cat hair, have you cleaned recently?”
I have five cats. There will ALWAYS be cat hair SOMEWHERE.
Lol yeah, I only have two but wow is it hard to get every hair. I have a very dark couch in the basement, the textile on it makes it impossible to remove hair, I tried with sticky rollers and the red brush without success.
That’s also a pet peeve of mine. It’s a little different if it’s an officially assigned task, for example if I am the one that takes the trash out, and you mention that the trash is full, thanks for letting me know, I’ll get on that. But if it’s a shared or unassigned task like: “The dog shit on the floor.” Ok, and why didn’t you do something about it when you saw it?
If I’m not willing to fix it myself, I’m not going to point it out to others.
Hell, when my friends come over they never complain. One of them is allergic to cats, but not to the point where it’s a HUGE issue. I dust, vacuum, wash the carpet, change the sheets, etc. before they come over because I want the place to be as comfortable as possible.
Again, I never get any remarks from them or any other friends that come over. It’s always family.
save about $200 through the year and hire someone from a reputable cleaner to clean your home about a week before.
then, the day before, just do touchups.
it’s the best gift you can give yourself if this is such a problem.
btw, it’s about $4 per paycheck if you get paid weekly.
You know what, didn’t really think about this. I thought if I had to have professional help, it’d have to be a regular thing and it’s not in my budget, but I’ll look for that kind of service. I won’t be able to tell my folks about it, but they won’t know!
The correct place to set something down is wherever I am so long as it’s not food. I can afford to pay for a cleaning service to cover mopping and such, so I only vacuum clumps of cat hair and leave the floors for someone else to manage. I tidy up before they come so they can access everything.
The chores will get done eventually. Probably.
If they don’t like it they can start cleaning themselves.
I clean up anything that might attract insects or cause illness. Dirty laundry goes in the hamper, dirty dishes go in the sink. Empty containers go in the trash. That’s enough for me, on a day to day basis.
Maintenance is easier than one time sweeps. It’s hard to get off the couch and vacuum, wipe down, do dishes daily when it’s not as rewarding as seeing the change. There’s a wide variation in standards between people even within families. I have a family member who’s notorious. Their partner invited them for vacation at the family home once and went home a week early to clean. It’s a family joke.
You won’t win against cat hair. It works its way into things and you’d need tweezers and a magnifying glass.
Wow okay, must have been a really big house lol
