Having children.

That’s a mistake I’m not going to repeat.

For interacting with kids, I always try to act like I’m interested in the things they’re talking about. It doesn’t matter if it’s their tiny life goals, or that cool rock they saw yesterday that wasn’t as cool as the rock they saw last month at the museum.

Nobody was ever interested in anything I have to say, and even after being with my wife for 6 years, she’s still trying to get me to talk more. Even I want to share something, my brain still says “they’re not interested, don’t bother” and I just keep it to myself. That’s probably why I like to comment on platforms like this so much, I can speak my piece and then move on and if anyone is interested in replying, I get a (usually) nice interaction with someone for a few minutes.

My wife’s dead sister used to scream at her children when they spoke because she “doesn’t want to hear [their] bullshit” and whenever her youngest would start giggling at something she was talking about she would scream at her to shut up because she’s annoying. The oldest was old enough to remember all of this perfectly, the youngest just has night terrors she can never remember.

My wife’s living sister just ignores her 8 children when they’re talking. Almost never even looks away from her phone or laptop when they talk and goes “yeah, uh-huh, mhmm, yep” and so on to make it seem like she’s listening. The oldest has caught on and has started saying off the wall stuff like “my head came off at school and the teacher kicked it into the trash” and things like that to see if her mother even notices. Usually she doesn’t.

It’s not enough to just be technically listening. You have to show interest. It’s not always easy, and when you have a lot on your plate it’s even harder, but you can sit and listen to babbling for a few minutes, it won’t hurt you, and you might make that kid’s day.