Truck Driving for me. It’ll feel cool for probably a half-hour for me, to be driving something big. Until my worry of having to meet things in timely manners start kicking in and my anxiety to make sure information going all directions are right enough for easy deliveries.
Not to mention, how stupid easy it probably is for a eighteen wheeler truck to topple over in bad weather.
ICE.
I think any purely manual, highly repetitive job would kill me. Like assembly line work.
I worked as a dishwasher in a small restaurant as a teenager. Those 2 4-hour shifts felt like they lasted DAYS.
Law enforcement. I was already in law enforcement and I’ll never do it again. It felt like I was a babysitter for idiots: breaking up fights, handling drunk people, de-escalating domestic issues, etc. Working on the border is shit, too. I’d never want to be in a situation where I have to deal with migrants at the behest of the government.
I’ve seen an awful lot of bodycam videos to agree. I feel bad for the ones that have to shoot somebody. I’ve even seen some bodycam footage where cops do breakdown after shooting someone. They’re really wishing things never had to go that way, but did because some very crazy people do crazy things or decide to suicide by cop.
Doctor
I hate gore-y stuff eww
But since I’m East Asian in a western country, I remember when I was in K-12 school, I get a lot of “Are you gonna be a Doctor?” comments and I’m just like… 🫠
Probably never gonna be a politician…
I hate to have every embarassing moment in my past get disected by the opposition
Also fuck public speaking, cuz I know someone is gonna clip it and replay any gaffles
Absolutely. I’d go further and say a surgeon. Cutting in to living folk and hoping you do a good enough job to literally keep them alive. That’s wild.
Regarding the last line, Macklemore has a song called “Light Tunnels.” It’s basically the story of going to some big music awards show (and his opinions on the matter).
I don’t care about music awards, but I do like the song; at one point he’s describing seeing his face on a big display and thinks to himself “just look normal, don’t become a meme.”
I think that’s a pretty solid line but probably difficult advice to consistently follow in a public facing role.
HR. I don’t like people, and I don’t care about corporate affairs.
Or daycare. I have four on my own, and they’re more than enough. Work hours are my hours of relief.
I’m fairly certain HR don’t like people either.
Those that can’t do, teach… Those that can’t teach do HR.
Strange that it’s not in this thread yet:
ICE
Any governmental position really. It all sounds incredibly unstable with all of the news with federal wages and benefits. Unless you’re an actual politician, life as federal worker must be incredibly stressful.
Not sure how anyone with two functional neurons to rub together would want to become a violent fascist goon. I mean, the hope is there that they will all be eventually swinging from gallows, but sometimes evil does get away.
Judge. I have no idea how you can punish people all day long and not stay up at night worrying that you made wrong decisions that ruined lives overmuch
Bruh I agonized over this on jury duty. It wasn’t even a violent crime but dude was still facing jail time. I cannot IMAGINE how stressful a Judge’s job must be on the day-to-day.
Isn’t that the role of the jury?
The jury doesn’t determine the punishment, only guilt/innocence.
Not all trials involve a jury. A jury can be requested in some cases, but it’s not the default. It’s usually reserved for serious criminal cases.
Stand up comedian.
Hi! Local comedian here! I can help field this.
Every time I do a show, I go in with the intention of being funnier and more interesting than what people are scrolling through. Usually but not always, I succeed. What makes this challenging is that all my shows are in the same venue every single time, on a regular schedule, which means I have regular audience members. I can’t let them down, so I get really prolific really fast. More material than Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld, Louis CK, and every other goddamn hack under the sun, at the same fucking time (good comics excepted—shoutouts to Randy Feltface, James Acaster, and more). Most of it gets tested in my corporate call center day job, which gets me decent CSAT ratings.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I did comedy as a day job instead of a night job. Would I enjoy telling the exact same show to a lot of different venues? Fuck no. Wouldn’t laugh at my own shit half as much.
Law enforcement. Because I have ethics.
I never understood this
Yeah, law enforcement has it’s problems, especially in the US where pretty much every police officer is corrupt, but the US is rather an exception in the western world.
There ARE actual criminals out there that, of left unchecked, basically will grow to trump type mobsters who abuse the shit out of everyone and everything around them
You’re fine with that, then?
A bartender or barista. Just the thought of having to know how to instantly make an untold number of drinks, with infinite variations and customizations, and get it fucking perfect every single time fills me with dread.
If you do a job like that, please know that I consider you a wizard.
I have my own espresso machine and make various drinks for myself as a hobby. That’s actually the easy part of being a barista. The hard part is keeping up with a high pace of orders during rush hour. I would not want to be a barista either, specifically because of the stress of that work.
The other commenter is right about the good coffee though. Making really good espresso from fancy light roasted single origin coffee is extremely difficult.
You absolutely don’t have to know a lot, and cheating is what you do when you don’t know.
Also, “perfect”? Add more alcohol and 90% of people will be happy. Source: memories from the nineties.
Most baristas are terrible at making good coffee. There are some coffee shops around that make good coffee but they’re definitely in the minority.
Depends on where you are but this is true for many places in the States.
I’m in the Seattle area and we have lots of decent baristas.
Deep sea diving repairs.
You have to go into a pressure chamber as soon as humanly possible when you arrive from the deep void of nothingness or else you rupture and die. If anyone needs a union it is those guys. They should be paid 3x the ceo’s salary.
Also, sketch YouTube comedians like Smosh, Dropout, etc… I couldn’t be “on” doing comedy for 6-8 hours a day recording constantly.
I used to work at a payroll company and our highest workers’ comp rates were:
Underwater welders
Seawall builders
Race car drivers
In that order.
What injuries did underwater welders and seawall builders get?
Underwater welders, electrocution. You can imagine, all the risks of diving plus welding, plus combining electricity and water.
Seawall builders, the whole process is dangerous because of the water, they can drown or be hit by heavy construction materials.
I just always found it interesting that those were more risky than race car driving. Our highest individual claim actually was a landscaper hit by lightning, who died, but sadly, he did not die quickly, suffered in hospital for some days.
I don’t support your reasoning. From what I know about deco diving is a lot of them have brain issues as they get older due to the extreme pressures. I don’t think it’s because of drowning
Defense jobs
The one I am being paid to do, rather browse lemmy.
What is it you are paid to do?
I dunno, I don’t do my job.
Any job that involves moving around in four dimensions. I can’t imagine that at all.
You already are (4th dimension is time)
Look at this time lord casually flexing on us mortals.
I’ve never driven a really big truck but a 24 foot U-haul isn’t that big a deal. It’s weird at first but you get used to it.
