“Why the fuck do you look like Billie Piper?”
Blame the time vortex and an information paradox called Bad Wolf.
- or “wibbly wobbly timey wimey… stuff” if you prefer.
Jolly good, that would already be very close to what I’m hoping hear which is that I am in fact talking to the time travelling device and that its proprietor has gone missing for exactly those wibbly wobbly reasons.
⌛
(This shit writes itself, I swear, if you fuck this up…)
“You’re really bad at this”
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.
~(ah forgot: and your time machine)~Don’t go back too far! People from 1000 years ago or even probably just 250 years ago will probably die from your modern germs, causing a history changing plague if it spreads!
Unless you have some sort of all purpose antibacterial/viral gel to be applied sexily to each other’s skin under black light before and after contact. Then do go ahead.
With COVID around, I could see as little as 10-15 years
“Have you watched looper?”
The best part is that if time travel is ever invented then it already has been.
How would we know?
You toy with powers greater than any God, Jesus christ where are you getting the energy from?
Have you gone to see the dinosaurs yet? No?
Okay, then are you going to go see the dinosaurs after this?
“…try to do it before they film Home Alone 2 - that way you can save a piece of our childhood as well as our country.”
Go back and kill Abraham. Let’s see if it changes history for the better.
Or at least stop him from creating a religion from his schizophrenia.
Not so sure
Find that fish that crawled out of the ocean and evolved into us and kick it back in. None of this is worth it, we might be happier as dolphins.
Dolphins evolved from land mammals just like we did. Kick that fish and there won’t be any dolphins.
Hmmm… Seems the dolphins really were the smart ones after all, they went back.
