You get paid $5000 per day for the rest of your life (matching inflation), but the American Kitchen Nightmares editors get to omnisciently and in real time control the sound effects in your life. Only you hear them, but you can never tune them out. Do you accept?
I guess I’ll just cry through the sound effects with the $1.8 million dollars a year I’ll have.
waterphone intensifies as you dab your tears with $100 bills
Only about $1.2 million after taxes though.
Can I invoice them from my LLC instead of taking out a salary?
That’s gonna be weird during sex
You’ll just have to turn up the volume on Cbat.
You pull it out, ready to go. She pulls out hers, and its bigger. kitchen nightmares sus sound effect plays
Do it like me and just dont find a partner. Problem solved.
violin sting
Absolutely.
If I can block the sounds by wearing headphones I would take it in a heartbeat but even if I cant block them, well, I would still do it because I have tinnitus 🤷
It’s a purely psychological thing inside your brain; it will cut through the tinnitus. You can’t loophole your way around it; you have to hear the sounds at the same noticeable volume a person with normal hearing would.
I guess, I ll suffer with the money and wipe my tears with it. 🥲
Yes I want a home in California big enough for a family. I don’t see any other way of accomplishing that.
waterphone noise
How about I reach out to the editors and offer them 80% of that money to not play any sound effects? Though the interpretation of the editors in question being humans implies they will still know everything about my life in realtime, and I’m not sure I’d take that kind of sacrifice
Time to go clean the deep fridge
Need an extra hand?
Nah, there’s one in there already. Thanks, though!
Edit: on -> in
Happened to my girlfriend. She was back to working in a doughnut shop after it was closed for cleaning a few days, when a reporter burst in the back with a camera crew. She said the shop had the lowest health score in Colorado Springs and how she felt being open again. All she could think was ‘I just fucking work here.’
Why was there a camera crew there? Were the donuts exceptionally amazingly newsworthy in spite of the dismal health rating?
Because having a shitty health rating is something people want and deserve to know about.
His brother did worse things than pot, he’d be fine with it.
Dude’s worked in the restaurant industry all his life, he probably wouldn’t hire a sober dishwasher.
He can’t fire his brother though
“So you know it’s wrong but you do it anyways?” - Gordon
“Hehheh, life.” - Some random kitchen worker







