edit: the date isn’t happening anymore. he texted me asking if we could change the venue as he realized he can’t really afford that restaurant at the moment (???, why was this realization so last minute) & i told him no worries i can pay for everything. he told me no way i could ever let a girl pay, it’s not fair to the girl and also “emasculating” to him. hate that attitude. called it off and cut contact. thank u, next.
So I hit this guy up on Insta, and we’ve been chatting for the past few days, calling and video calling and all that. Tonight he’s taking me out to dinner; just a date, nothing more. I talk to my parents about everything, and they told me to observe his behavior but keep an open mind.
So, you’re 18 and he is 33?
It’s said if you divide your age by 2 and add 7 you roughly get the youngest age you can date. That would be 23,5. Personally, I’ve come to the believe any gap of 10 years or more is too much. Your just in too different parts of your life. There is often a bad power balance and simply different needs.
Go on the date, have fun, but I wouldn’t get serious.
yeah
i’m just exploring
People born in 2008 are 18 💀💀
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Some people are also consciously or subconsciously looking for a younger partner, because they will put up with their bullshit, while someone more experienced would not. Definitely look out for that, but it’s hard to tell in the beginning.
Or maybe the older and more experienced are overly needy when selecting partner and red flag just about anything that isn’t precisely in their preferences. Younger tend to be more fluid.
Yeah, it’s hard to know without meeting that other person. Maybe they’ve dated a ton of people in their own age group and are just having no luck whatsoever other than meeting walking red flags. So they’re aiming for a younger person who hasn’t been screwed up in life yet. I know plenty of people In their 30s, who are so screwed up, you wouldn’t want to date them. So I would advise the original poster to go in with their eyes open, but have fun. There are plenty of people who have bigger Age gaps than that and they’re very happy. we really shouldn’t be calling the other person, a pedophile or a creep without having ever met them. I literally the only thing we know about the other person is they’re going out on a date with somebody.
Personally, I would’ve preferred to aimed for somebody who was 23 instead of 18. That five years could make quite a difference, but I’m also not going to judge because at 18 they’re an adult they can do what they want. And i recognize at 18 your brain is still developing. Then again there are people whose age is 45 and the brain is still developing. There are people who are age 38 who are so toxic you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them, you probably don’t even want to live next to them in the next house over.
Now that’s one mature comment.
Best thing to do is to go and see for oneself.
Age per se is no flag. Behaviour is the real thing.
I once looked at some dating apps such as tinder. The lists from 30-50 of what they are searching for was in general like external qualities and for personal traits something that simply do not exist. Only those who could mask themselves, could meet the expectstions. I quickly removed myself.
If there is a possibility to meet person, use it.