Friend’s birthday is coming up next week, and they care about you and you wanna show you care about them? Well the day before (or whatever timeline you need), you don’t do anything that drains your batteries, or do things to recharge them, so that when it’s time to go to the party, the battery is full.
If we’re gonna treat social as a limited resource, then being a good friend means spending that resource on them. If we give it a number, then let’s say a birthday gift costs 50. It doesn’t matter if your battery holds 100 or 100, save 50 for the party.
I have a relative who does the battery thing, and the key thing that puts them in the “doesn’t care” category despite a mental disorder that absolutely qualifies them for the battery analogy, is they just don’t spend their battery unless it’s a benefit to them. They won’t spend it on one of their friends unless it’s one of like, 2 specific people, so it’s an excuse.
Friend’s birthday is coming up next week, and they care about you and you wanna show you care about them? Well the day before (or whatever timeline you need), you don’t do anything that drains your batteries, or do things to recharge them, so that when it’s time to go to the party, the battery is full.
Have you read the story in my link? Getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, putting on clothes, leaving the house (because your boss do not accept a “no” regarding his demands for you to work today, and you need that job to pay your bills [or debts even]), etc. already costs. For a normal person, this would maybe count as recharge, if you skip yoga and pilates orders food instead of cooking yourself (if you have the money to do so, that is to say). For me on my bad days, this isn’t recharging, but going way over my limits. Plus one can have good or bad days and believe that it’ll be fine only to wake up, when the birthday is and … “shit”!
Believe me! I’ve been there and I’ve done that (loosing a persons friendship, because it was simply impossible to follow their invitation and celebrate that day with them together. It isn’t that easy, if your (here mental) health isn’t “normal”, as it may seem to you.
If we give it a number, then let’s say a birthday gift costs 50. It doesn’t matter if your battery holds 100 or 100, save 50 for the party.
And if your battery, without doing anything else, is at 10 or 20 … whilst the party costs 50? That was my situation, where a could be friendship ended.
[…] they just don’t spend their battery unless it’s a benefit to them. They won’t spend it on one of their friends unless it’s one of like, 2 specific people, so it’s an excuse.
Well, I have zero friends nowadays. So no excuse here. Plus I know of people whom, by their lack of friends, are going insane/suicidal, so I doubt them to only be presenting excuses there as well.
The difference is what you do around it.
Friend’s birthday is coming up next week, and they care about you and you wanna show you care about them? Well the day before (or whatever timeline you need), you don’t do anything that drains your batteries, or do things to recharge them, so that when it’s time to go to the party, the battery is full.
If we’re gonna treat social as a limited resource, then being a good friend means spending that resource on them. If we give it a number, then let’s say a birthday gift costs 50. It doesn’t matter if your battery holds 100 or 100, save 50 for the party.
I have a relative who does the battery thing, and the key thing that puts them in the “doesn’t care” category despite a mental disorder that absolutely qualifies them for the battery analogy, is they just don’t spend their battery unless it’s a benefit to them. They won’t spend it on one of their friends unless it’s one of like, 2 specific people, so it’s an excuse.
Have you read the story in my link? Getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, putting on clothes, leaving the house (because your boss do not accept a “no” regarding his demands for you to work today, and you need that job to pay your bills [or debts even]), etc. already costs. For a normal person, this would maybe count as recharge, if you skip yoga and pilates orders food instead of cooking yourself (if you have the money to do so, that is to say). For me on my bad days, this isn’t recharging, but going way over my limits. Plus one can have good or bad days and believe that it’ll be fine only to wake up, when the birthday is and … “shit”!
Believe me! I’ve been there and I’ve done that (loosing a persons friendship, because it was simply impossible to follow their invitation and celebrate that day with them together. It isn’t that easy, if your (here mental) health isn’t “normal”, as it may seem to you.
And if your battery, without doing anything else, is at 10 or 20 … whilst the party costs 50? That was my situation, where a could be friendship ended.
Well, I have zero friends nowadays. So no excuse here. Plus I know of people whom, by their lack of friends, are going insane/suicidal, so I doubt them to only be presenting excuses there as well.
Exactly, you can pick your priorities.