I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a noise on the toilet and been so embarrassed that I actually end up waiting for anyone who heard it to leave, just so I can stay anonymous
I don’t think there will be anyone who objects to this. There is nothing in a bathroom worth listening to. Nobody socializes in a bathroom. It’s as quiet as a library, and any bodily noise completely gives you away
Please just add background music to bathrooms. Even with quiet background music, you could at least strategically defecate to the tempo to make it sound like it’s part of the song
I hate public bathrooms, please make them bearable


When I was younger I got curious and watched my butthole fart in the mirror and now whenever I hear a fart I picture their butthole
I mean, a fart literally is what it is and sounds like what it sounds like precisely because of the anus having the shape that it has. Can’t really unsee that
It doesn’t just stay in one place tho. It opens up for a seconds and vibrates… sometimes it squeezes shut a bit just before the big reveal