Hey whatever gets you the job. It’s not like corporations are honest. Screw em.
Not only are they not honest, they also put down crazy requirements and if you don’t meet them your resume goes straight into the trash. No reason NOT to up you chances of an interview. I would probably say don’t straight-up lie, but it’s easy to bend the truth and inflate your worth. So do that, all the time.
I’ve seen the crazy HR shit from behind the scenes. And it makes sense given what they know and have to work with.
Take my last job for an example. If HR had asked me what sorts of skills I employed, it would be an insane list.
But here’s the thing; I wasn’t a master of any of those things. I wasn’t a pro AD admin, SQL admin, web dev, PS coder, bla, bla, bla.
A lot of what you’re answering on a job post or interview is, “Do you have a clue?”
We don’t have any sort of central computer admin, no Active Directory kinda identity provider. Google works well enough as an IdP, but I’d never used it that way.
In my interview they asked about Linux central admin and AD. I just said, “Never done it, but I’ve read a bit and it seems doable. Here’s an example of a thing I’ve heard of, but I’ve never dug into it.”
“OK. That’s all I was looking for.”
And now I make $80K sitting on my ass at home all day.
Fun fact: To the Arabs, Laurence of Arabia was known as “that weird Brit who just refused to fuck off.”
I have worked with enough people to know that resumes are literally “based on a true story”.
Every job I’ve had requires proficiency with MS Offiice and computers in general. And every single training class has someone who has clearly lied about that.
That’s a bingo.
At my last job I onboarded all the new folks. Set up accounts, met them first day, held their hand, all that.
It was an office job at a small payroll firm, nothing technical. I could tell within 10 minutes if that person would last.
Hammered that home in a manager’s meeting, after a dozen HR fails for filling the same position.
If they don’t have basic PC skills, they ain’t gonna make it. Testing is hard to figure and arbitrary, I know, but if they can’t work a mouse, they’re not gonna last a week. Age and education didn’t matter. Can they be instructed to open the X: drive, navigate to a folder and open an Excel sheet?
Retention spiked after HR was told to test for basic skills.
That presumes I’m a fan of myself.
You could hire a resume writer if you’re on LinkedIn.
Don’t worry, just create an account. They’ll find you with offers and guarantees to manipulate ATS (Applicant Tracking Systems) on your behalf.
Now I want to see a resume written like most fanfictions are
give me a bulletpoint and i will try and over exaggerate it beyond reason
I once argued with my boss because we should be allowed to use for loops, and saying they’re too complicated is concerning.
Mine’s more like slash fiction.
Are you Kirk or Spock?
Oh
noyes! Risa is overflowing again!
