I have an acquaintance that is having their life ended next month due to constant medical suffering and just had this morbid thought. Care Now could have a spinoff business called Death Now.
I have fully expected this to be the top comment. Internet has not disappointed me today
Would you like QUICK AND PAINLESS or SLOW AND HORRIBLE?
Uh, yeah, I’d like to place a collect call :)
You have selected SLOW AND HORRIBLE
…good choice!
Came here for this
Yeah and these were supposed to come in 2008 what a ripoff…
How about a spin-off called roulette now?
If you’re suicidal but also scared to die, you can go into roulette now.
They’ll put you into the pod and fill it with a gas and you will go to sleep.
Then a random number generator spins up a number.
If your number is called, the chamber fills with nitrogen and you never wake up again.
If not, nothing happens, eventually the sedative wears off and you wake up, having literally put your life into the hands of a random number generator.
Congratulations, you have survived your suicide. If you would like to keep surviving your suicide, here are some people you can talk to.
Imagine encouraging someone to do this, in hopes that a near-death experience would reenergize them and make them look at life more optimistically, but the RNG just offs them first round.
Wouldn’t work, they’d need appointments to keep up with incredible demand and scheduled maintenance for the ol corpse wiggler out back.
Think about the boon that it would create in the organ market.
There wouldn’t be a single person waiting for a kidney or a liver or a heart or a lung or anything in America anywhere within like 4 years.
They had that in Soylent Green, and in Futurama there were suicide booths.
Don’t forget why Logan was Running!
They would probably have a difficult time hiring or getting malpractice insurance. Euthanasia is a specialty — like neurology, anesthesia, surgery, etc.
Nah. Just give me $20/hr, and a baseball bat, and a table to strap them down to.
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