• BlueHarvest @lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to CyberTruck.

    Caution: CyberTruck may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

    CyberTruck contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

    Do not use CyberTruck on concrete.

    Discontinue use of CyberTruck if any of the following occurs: itching; vertigo; dizziness; tingling in extremities; loss of balance coordination; slurred speech temporary blindness; profuse sweating or heart palpitations.

    If CyberTruck begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

    CyberTruck may stick to certain types of skin.

    When not in use, CyberTruck should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of CyberTruck, Elon Musk, and its parent company, Tesla, of any and all liability.

    Ingredients of CyberTruck include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    Do not taunt CyberTruck.

    CyberTruck comes with a lifetime warranty.

    CyberTruck! Accept no substitutes!

    • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      CyberTruck comes with a lifetime warranty.

      We literally guarantee that Cybertruck will last for the rest of your life. You will assuredly die on or before the day that it stops working.

      • beebarfbadger@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        CyberTruck comes with a lifetime warranty.

        Warranty lasts as long as cybertruck is working. After that - your problem.

    • jiberish@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      The similarities between Happy Fun Ball and Elon’s childhood car drawing are SHOCKING (because both will likely electrocute the user)