Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.
High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia’s Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.
A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.
I’m sorry the hwhat?!
I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.
They didn’t. They named it “Sarmat”.
NATO also had reporting names for Soviet weapons. IIRC surface-to-surface missiles start with “S”. A few are rather…less-than complimentary, “Satan” – the name used for the weapon that this replaces – probably being the most so.
This missile doesn’t have the reporting name “Satan 2” for NATO, though. The only link it has with the original surface-to-surface missile with the NATO reporting name “Satan” is that it’s supposed to replace it and so Western media, which very much enjoyed mentioning “Satan” wherever possible, dubbed the new missile “Satan 2”. But it’s not an official name with NATO or Russia, just something that the media uses for the clicks.
The original missile:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R-36_(missile)#R-36M
The new one:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RS-28_Sarmat
No wonder the media is using Satan II. NATO hasn’t given it one or is just referring to it by number. I’d do the same thing if I was reporting on it.
They gave it one. It’s just not as evocative as “Satan”:
Well they couldn’t very well call it the Sexy 29.
No you can’t, because Russia can’t get it up!
I’ll show myself out…
Stupid sexy ICBM…
Found a Techpriest
NCD might
I’m not surprised the media went with Satan II.
Sounds like NATO should name it “Stupid”
But really we should name all nuclear weapons Stupid anyway.
The Kremlin is probably happy to hear it called Satan. They’re getting desperate and empty threats of global nuclear war are one of the only cards they have left.
Extremely angry at my military for naming it’s unlimited genocide machine “Big Evil Monster” rather than “Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit”.
Almost don’t even want them to use it anymore.
Can just give it a simple code. We don’t need fun names for this stuff.
We actually need the fun names. The point is that barely-educated Private Joe in the military remembers what it is and how it looks like, and does not mix it up with other things if he sees it.
It’s not a nickname, it’s an official reporting name.
Satan 2 literally is a nickname.
The official NATO reporting name is SS-X-29
The official Russian name is RS-28
That’s why he named it Satan 2.