IMO the show did not do a good job introducing characters and settings, and failed to do a lot of “screen writing 101” stuff like establishing who the characters are and their relationships to each other in the first few episodes. It also failed at using visual language or motifs to define the different settings and distinguish them which was frustrating and confusing. I started the show first and was intrigued enough to pick up the books, but absolutely reading the books gives you a shortcut past all of the “who’s that guy?” and “wait, I thought those people were in the same place” type moments of confusion. I still really enjoyed the show and I figured everything out eventually, but yes it benefits from a read-through.

I quite enjoyed Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Children of Time series, which is also (relatively) hard-ish sci-fi and has a creative and interesting exploration of non-human intelligences. I enjoyed the first two books but was meh on the third. Certainly would still recommend them but they don’t scratch quite the same itch the Expanse does.

Another series I devoured and then re-read a year later was the Murderbot Diaries. It’s dystopian but also kind of hopeful, it’s a story about realizing one’s personhood and self determination and making a life for yourself, with a very dry sense of humor. It’s a great audio book read, (the Kevin Free version) and was recently turned into a series on Apple TV.

Finally got around to the Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan and it’s more relevant than ever. It absolutely predicted the world we’re in politically now and has some insight and analysis as to how and why and what to do to help. Definitely worth a read or reread if you haven’t read it or it’s been a while.

Love those books. Extremely easy to read and reread and set the standard for modern hard sci fi.

I’m someone who can eat multiple pounds of blueberries in one sitting. Next time, try spraying them thoroughly with vinegar and letting them soak for at least 5min, 10 or even 20 is better. Then rinse thoroughly with water. There are some tummy upsetting molds and bacterias that are neutralized by the vinegar. This works for any berries or easily spoilt produce. It’s majorly cut down on the “consequences” of my grape and berry binges.

I’ve always been one that tries to fix before we replace, and that’s lead me to a few things like soldering some loose connectors on electronics, or basic small engine repair like an oil change and installing a spark plug. I like making things so I’ve been slowly expanding my experience levels with various interesting power tools. I can install insulation, mud and sand drywall, stain and refinish furniture, that kind of thing.

However, if I think about things that are truly flipping the script on gender roles, probably the most masculine “skill” I have is the ability to assertively ask for what I want and delegate tasks to others. It seems almost foreign to other women outside of a business context.

This was particularly noticeable when I lived in the American south as a caretaker for a family member. Some of the conservative biddies we had over to visit sometimes would make little passive aggressive snarky comments and the exchange would go something like this.

“Oh, I didn’t know where to put my trash, the bin is just overflowing with garbage so I left it on the counter”
“You’re right, we usually put the trash in the bin in the garage, spare bags are under the sink, just make sure to close the lid when you’re done”
“Oh, uh…” (palpable confusion)
“Thanks for helping out!” (direct eye contact, pleasant smile)
(flustered acquiescence)

It would throw them for a loop so hard it was consistently hilarious. They clearly expected me to bashfully apologize or get all defensive or shamed at the state of the house in some pecking order power play. Lol. You brought it up, have fun getting it delegated to you.

Yes, he said he didn’t like feeling like a kid next to me 🤷‍♀️

I’m proud of how I handled my anger over current events.

I got sick of just complaining on the internet and feeling powerless, so I volunteered for town government. It’s an unelected position, unpaid, but it’s in something I’m passionate about. It’s tedious and slow, but we’re making incremental changes to make things better. I have real influence now on my immediate area and it’s helping me keep my sanity(?).

I used to have a very low opinion of the capabilities of kids younger than 5, and genuinely had no idea what they were really like. I remember having similar thoughts about parents grieving babies, because for milennia we as a species had to deal with children dying all the time, to the point of not even naming them before certain ages. I have a toddler now and boy did I underestimate them. Did you know some speak in full sentences by two and a half? We taught our kid sign language when he was 8 months old so he could tell us what he needed, and by ten months he was telling us he loved trucks, had a surprisingly high tolerance for hot sauce and was a major cuddle bug who had a different favorite color every day (but mostly yellow and blue). He’s three now and knows how to crack jokes, build block castles, can do forward and backward floor somersaults, and even can even do some basic rock climbing. I have parent friends with kids similar ages, one has their kid writing already, another has their kid riding a bicycle, all under 4 years old. They come out of the gate with very distinctive personalities, and every kid is different. I think if you actually knew a toddler well enough to get to know them, you’d realize just how quickly they become a fully realized person.

I’ve personally only seen kids on leashes in the context I mentioned above, of a large, crowded event where a few bodies moving in the way of your kid will break line of sight entirely. Outdoor festivals, concerts, fairs, amusement parks etc. I have never seen a kid on a leash at a playground or park or bank or grocery store etc. Toddlers are small and if there’s a lot of bodies around it would be VERY easy to lose sight of them. If my kid ran off and broke my line of sight of him in a crowd I absolutely would have a moment of panic. Again, I’m not going to judge other parents for finding solutions to problems that don’t harm the child.

I got away from my mother at a large event, and left her panicking and organizing other parents to search for me. When they found me she spanked me and yelled at me for running off. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. Obviously hitting me was wrong, but she was terrified of what could have happened to me. If she had just used a tether it would never have happened.

Something’s lack of representation in media is not exactly a reliable metric of commonality, if it was, gay people sprang into being in the late 90s.

It’s normal enough. I saw a couple of kids on wrist leashes just this weekend at a very crowded outdoor event. The kids were probably about 2 and 3. I have a 3 year old as well, and didn’t have him on a leash because he’s responsive to my voice calling him and has decent (for his age) impulse control. I didn’t judge or have negative impressions of those parents. They were present and just trying to enjoy the event with their kids. It’s HIGHLY kid dependent. When I was a toddler, I was the type to just run off in a crowd and I could have saved my mother a lot of grief and panic if she had a leash for me. It’s just another tool available to parents.

It’s important not to project your feelings as an adult, because you have different assumptions, associations and contexts tied to leashes than a toddler does. Generally, toddlers are taught to have shame or be embarrassed about things, their default sentiment to most things is extremely pragmatic. A toddler on a leash will be focused on the tactile sensation of it on their wrist or body, the effect it has of limiting their movement, and not much else. Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash? Were they trying to get out of it? Were they asking their guardians to please take it off? Or were they just kinda being silly kids running around exploring?

Also to this:

If you are taking them to a place where it’s dangerous for them to act like children…*then why the fuck are you taking them there in the first place?!*

Sometimes you just have no other option. A fair price for babysitting is $20+ USD an hour. Not every toddler is in or has access to daycare. Not every family has grandparents close enough to drop them off with. Sometimes bringing them along to a place with you is the only way they’ll have supervision.

Chocolate, alcohol, video games, and expounding too much about my interests to anyone standing in front of me.

Also, explaining things on the internet…

Just ignore us. Consistent eye contact, staring, or obviously paying a lot of unwarranted attention to us is way more threatening than just being big or burly.

Guild Wars 2, it can be extremely cozy in places. Beautiful environments, it lets you run around and just stumble across something to do, and you can get in a groove doing a map meta with a series of events leading to a big boss fight with 50+ people all participating and then you can just run off later harvesting leeks or whatever. I can just zone out watching a show on my other monitor while working on a collection or an achievement or getting flax or something.

They ARE evolving. My kid was born with a taste for spicy food. When he was about one he used to try to swig the spicy mayo bottle. When he was two he was doing the “more” gesture for more Sriracha on his burrito meat. He’s three now and regularly eats off his Dad’s plate when he has food that makes my nose run and eyes tear up. He will probably be snorting Pepper X by his teens.

Banished, you can’t get more Indie than just one guy’s passion project.

I don’t know what it is about that game but it really struck a chord with me and I’ve come back to it over and over. It’s my favorite game to play when I’m sick and can’t do anything. It’s relaxing and peaceful and cozy while also being complex and ruthlessly challenging at the same time, so it’s like spinning plates. Seems easy when you get the hang of it but it can all come crashing down if you make a bad enough mistake. It’s spawned some copy cats, and I’ve tried them, but the original just gets me somehow.

This exactly. It’s an easily recognizable legal shortcut to a bunch of systems, rules and privileges that apply to the situation of two people wanting to live their lives together. Doesn’t have to cost much, if anything, and doesn’t have to have anything at all to do with religion or rituals. Can be just two people showing up at the town hall if you want it to be.

Love ballroom dancing, and especially east coast swing is my jam. Unfortunately no regular social dances in my area but I go when there’s one available. It’s really fun and playful, great way to meet new people and good exercise. Equipment cost is basically a pair of shoes. I joke about dressing up in a dress and heels for my workouts.

As a long time fan and proud GWAMM, honestly it doesn’t need the “classic” treatment. It’s still online, and the last major content patches didn’t change anything significant enough to alter the gameplay in a way that would make people “miss the old days”. They added some end game content and some quality of life improvements and some tools that allowed players to more easily solo content, then left well enough alone. It still has a small core of regular players, and has the event schedule going on auto. I suppose they could do some graphical improvements but it’s still a very good game as it is

Posted most of this in another thread but I’m glad to help share my tricks. I have managed to nearly eliminate Amazon entirely from our lives for the past two years. I usually find things by searching what I want to buy on DuckDuckGo and then adding “-amazon”, “-etsy”, “-walmart”, “-temu” and “-pinterest” as search modifiers.

A lot of little shops are perfectly legit, but watch out for:

Things being ridiculous bargains. Small shops will almost always be more expensive due to higher overheads and less bulk

Too much variety in product (unless they’re a marketplace with 3rd party vendors). A legit shop will have inventory that makes sense together in its theme. If they sell everything from bubblebath to uranium they’re either probably not actually selling it or drop shipping it.

Pictures that look like they come from lots of different sources, or no consistency in images. If they don’t have their own pictures of products or standards of presentation that’s suspicious

Some general recs:

For anything electronic or computer related: B&H Photo or Microcenter

For music stuff: Sweetwater, but there’s a lot of great small music stores, or you can use a marketplace like Reverb

For clothes: if you have any clothes you already enjoy, go directly to their brand website. If you don’t, go to local secondhand shops and touch, handle and try on some clothes to see them in person. I’ve discovered some brands I like by finding something in a thrift store that was well made but not my size or preferred color.

For house repair and DIY stuff: we order from a local building supply store, but there’s also hardwareandtools.com, 1stoplighting, Waysource, Lightbulbs.com, Timothy’s Toolbox etc.

For food items, local grocery stores often offer online shopping and delivery. If it’s a specialty item or imported the import companies sometimes have their own websites. There’s also Hive or GroveCo for some granola type B Corp goodness

For tea, coffee and spices, Adagio and its sister websites

For super fast, need it now shipping, Target has a lot of the same things Amazon does and even does same day delivery for an extra fee for certain items.

For something hard to find you can’t find another site for, try Ebay.

I do business with all sorts of independent retailers and have only had good experiences with them. These are sites that I’ve personally bought from but there are a lot of smaller sites just trying to make a place for themselves on the internet