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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • The way our urban design influences society and community, and how the loss of third spaces and the dominance of cars in Western society has led to the loneliness epidemic and influence bubbles. I would talk about the movement to reclaim main street and encourage “traditional development”, and how that leads to the micro-encounters that help people feel like they belong somewhere. How parks, plazas and pedestrian areas create third places where people can casually encounter diverse individuals and create friends and community connections. Also with a hearty side about public transportation and how efficient it is, and what a better neighbor a tram rail is than a road of similar passenger load. This speech is pretty much 30 seconds away from coming out of me during any conversation anyway and it’s a conscious effort to stop myself. Would be nice to let it out.




  • Pretty clothes, hats, jewelry, crystals and cool rocks, musical instruments, board games, video games, antique wooden puzzles, books, ice cream recipes, crafting supplies and good fabrics, vintage kitchen equipment and appliances, solid wood furniture, projects, skills, hobbies… everything is interesting and my house is a glorious mess full of fascinating things.




  • My opinion as a pragmatist and a woman: an engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. The formality of the proposal itself can be a surprise, but just like a birthday party it should be something expected and at the very least loosely discussed with the person. Asking “what kind of proposals do you like?” and figuring out if they want something public or private, or in front of friends or something small is really important. What kind of engagement ring should go in this discussion. She might hate diamonds, she might love them, she might have a metal allergy, she might have a stone that means a lot to her, she might hate rings with stones at all because they catch on things. You don’t know until you ask, and by asking you’re showing her the respect and that you value her opinion.






  • Nefara@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    1 month ago

    Yes, he’s attracted to you. However, his behavior could be a warning sign depending on how old he is. Is he your age? If so I think he’s excited and enthusiastic about getting your attention, but if he’s older, I agree with other posters this sounds like he’s trying to buy your affection. It’s a warning sign if he’s in his 20s, and a huge blaring red alert if he’s over 30.

    If he’s one of your peers, I would be cautiously optimistic but NOT go fishing and definitely do not let him drive you again. This is women’s safety 101: do not ever rely on a date for transportation, do not meet in isolated areas, and let someone know where you will be and when you should be home. If you are in a place that is car dependent, you are at the total mercy of whoever is driving, and giving them too much control over your freedom. Even with ride shares available that is a risk you should try to avoid.

    Unless he has already told you where he’s going fishing and it’s somewhere visible and well populated, or you’re going with friends as a group, then you should suggest an alternate activity that puts you around people. Other people are safety, and accountability. If his intentions are good, he should be happy to accommodate you and won’t mind.

    I remember when I was 19, I was not the beauty standard, so I didn’t have my guard up as much as my peers. It was flattering and exciting to have someone overtly interested in me. I was frankly naive and oblivious to the fact that I could be preyed on and manipulated. I thought I was smart and confident but I had no idea what was going on around me and a lot of people I thought were “just being nice” were wolves circling. You should know that there are a lot of men who see someone young and inexperienced in dating who might be kind of insecure and see them as a juicy target for control, abuse, and manipulation. Just take precautions. Things might be totally fine, but the consequences for them being a predator can be severe.




  • Not just aging, I would say intelligence is highly variable just on an individual level due to all sorts of factors. How much rest you get, the quality of said rest, current physical comfort level, distractions, stress, whether you’re hungry or have eaten recently, time of day, whether there’s a time constraint, etc etc etc. I wonder how many “stupid” people are genuinely that way even in the best conditions, or if the majority are just suffering from any of multiple detractors on them. Because of this I try not to judge, because I don’t know their lives.






  • I remember the violinist one when that came out, and watched some of the videos. He made terrible choices for songs to play that would be nonsensical unmelodious noise if listened to in a second or two of passing by. If someone on the street just hears a disconnected sequence of unrelated notes they’re not going to stop unless they are specifically looking out to be entertained. I’m sure he’s an incredible musician but musician and busker are different skills. A good busker can be a mediocre musician but play catchy, immediately compelling or memorable songs that are recognizable and instantly understood, and have a distinctive stage/street presence.

    I was so frustrated by the implication that because he made a pittance that “people don’t know good quality” etc. No, he was just terrible at busking. Honestly he was lucky that he pulled even that much doing it for the first time. What do you honestly think is more attention getting, Violin Partita No. 2 in D Minor played by some white dude in a ball cap or a keytar wielding bear playing a cover of Watermelon Sugar with his whole heart and soul?