The horrors persist but so do I
Oooo not sure I can use this all the time but I hope to remember to use once in awhile.
So, here’s a fuck up from earlier this year:
A family friend came over one day. I was out by my car, having returned from a visit to the shops. I hadn’t seen him in years, and he asks how I was. I responded with “Surviving”, before saying something about my degree progress and stuff.
He goes a bit quiet and awkward, eventually making his way inside while I finished what I was doing.
I walked inside and walked past my parents talking to him. Then I remembered something. His partner was diagnosed with a brain tumour that had metastasised from breast cancer. I also remembered that a few days ago, my parents went to visit his partner in the palliative care unit because she lost the fight. I realised then that he clearly came around to tell my parents that she had passed away. She fucking died and I responded with “Surviving”.
Oh shit. Thank you for sharing this.
Ooooooffff
Why is this segregated?
Reading this after the thread from that german kid wondering why Americans keep using racial qualifiers like white, black, etc really brings the point home.
My parents will always specify if the person they’re referring to or telling a story about is black. So to help them see how pointless it is I will always specify when someone is white.
They never get it and they’ll always pause the conversation “what does him being white have to do with anything? You said he was driving a Benz, that’s normal for white people.”
“I’m livin’ the dream (and would like to wake up)” is a personal favorite of mine.
“well, someone’s dream” is something I like to tack on the end haha
“Another day in paradise.”
“Nightmares are dreams too”
How’s it going?
“Yeah not bad, stable downfall”
Not sure on which podcast I heard this
“Still breathing”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” (usually used at work)
“I will overcome.”
“I keep dragging myself along.”
“Somehow, I remain alive.”
“I will perish, but not like this, hopefully, not today.”
“Everything is shit and I think we should all get a grenade and end it all.”
… and other reasons why you don’t ask a Lithuanian how’s it going for them.
My Irish American family is a lot like this. One of my favorites that I only use with them goes something like this:
Getting old sucks, and I cannot in good conscience recommend it.
I’ve taken to saying ‘adequately, thanks’.
“Oh you know. How are you?”
“it is what it is”
“still breathing”
Personal favorite
“sure is”
How’s it going?
Haha, you know it!
My go to is “Ah yeah”, which could mean I’ve not considered it, but also dodges me venting the stress I’m feeling. It’s a win-win.
Not sure I get it. So what is the answer if you’re not white?
Like “Dad responses”, whiteness is a state of mind 🧘♂️
Ok but I still don’t understand the joke :(
Like “Dad responses”, these are just common cliche ways for white American men to respond to questions - in this case, “How are things going?”
In this case, the responses listed, while seemingly anodyne, are generally given out as a means of downplaying one’s own troubles - “It’s going” being “It’s going badly enough that I don’t want to talk about it in any more detail” - and “Hanging in there” being “I’m managing, but only barely.”
So both, while not being a cause for alarm by a surface reading, are actually (commonly) given out when significantly distressed.
Out of curiosity can you do the other colors too?
Unfortunately, I’m not the original creator of the post; you’d have to ask them for more droll observations of common American responses (and their deeper meanings) by race.
“…Dealin’…”
I like dropping, “It’s not, but how are you?” an easy and more polite way of saying “you don’t give two shits about me, so let’s talk about you.”
I do that way too often and… I wonder if it’s not a special kind of self poisoning.
It most undoubtedly is, but it keeps me from saying worse when I don’t want to play fine.