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When my best friend transitioned it was like watching someone begin to exist. Nothing was lost when she came out. She became MORE. More vibrant, more alive, more enthusiastic, more driven, more creative, more HERSELF. It was like the one who was there pre-transition wasn’t even a whole person but just a shell or a mask. I’m so fucking proud of her ;~; <3
Can only confirm this. Since I had to finally acknowledge, that I’m trans life really does feel different. For the first time in literal years I have been able to feel true happiness. Prior to my realisation life kinda sucked. It was more like a monotonous stream of time where nothing really happened.
Maybe its the psych nurse in me who already likes watching people come out of a depression but that’s what it most looks like with (most) of the people I’ve known, especially those that need hormones / surgery to improve their mental health. Like the ones that look bony or bloated or ashy or greasy with circles under their eyes and matted beadhead and uncontrolled acne everywhere from not wanting to look at themselves in the mirror or touch their own naked body in the shower. It’s not everyone’s story but watching the ones who do come out of that is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen! How do you watch that and not be hyped by it? Like I get that not everybody is willing to wash another person’s butt to get there but you can’t even admire the result?
Like I get that not everybody is willing to wash another person’s butt to get there but you can’t even admire the result?
It’s a mindset thing. To give an example, think of the “meat is murder” vegans. A hamburger is a marvel of ingenuity considering its worldwide success, yet to the people who vividly picture how it’s produced from start to finish the end result isn’t something to be admired.
The disgust is self-inflicted because their set of values cannot reconcile with the method used or the whole process itself.
Did you just compare transitioning to making hamburger?
It’s a pretty nonsensical analogy. I think they just wanted to complain about vegans.
I understand the analogy it’s just a bad one. It references a second set of moral values that are largely unrelated but that people can also have strong yet varied opinions on. That muddles the meaning significantly for most people.
The point being made is that people can’t appreciate the progress of someone’s journey towards peace with their own physical body -> even though they have very little to do with the messy internal parts of the process -> because they find the entire concept morally objectionable.
Which isn’t actually wrong; that is what’s happening. People are letting their very narrow and rigid set of morals interfere with being able to see the beauty of the metamorphosis in front of them. They’re too stuck on whether or not the concept itself relates to what somebody told them the bible means in Sunday School at 8 years old instead of critically evaluating… anything and everything? about those beliefs and how they relate to the well-being of the humans they actually share the world with.
I’ve met annoying vegans and I’ve met annoying “carnivores,” but I’ve also met a lot of other people who are annoying for a lot of different reasons and it doesn’t really benefit this discussion.
That’s what drew your attention? It’s not the example itself that matters, but what it tries to convey. Still, let me try with another example and if it’s not good enough, then you’re more than welcome to bring your own.
In the above comment, that I’m replying to, the commenter’s set of values cannot reconcile with the method used or the whole process itself and as such is more likely to express disgust towards the end result.
Hope it’s better, else, please partake.
Good point, and well illustrated. Sorry so many people got hung up on the metaphor.
Thanks. And it’s fine, we all have our differences so disagreements are bound to happen.
Did you just compare being trans to being vegan?
I think they compared transphobic people to vegans.
Trans people were compared to hamburgers… but you know, not fastfood hamburgers. More like really good burgers. You know, like where their buns are toasted and slathered with avocado. Maybe topped with grilled onions, and then you slide a piece of bacon in there, you know? And then you just shove it right in your face.
And then after, they can both go for burgers…
Yeeesh… I’m not sure if that’s the kind of message you want to send… Imagine someone who’s in a position where they can’t transition reading that, you’re basically telling them that right now they’re a huge loser that should die…
The joke is that they already think that about themselves. The suicide rate for trans people, especially those who can’t transition, is extremely high.
When I realized I was trans I knew I had no choice but to do it, damn the consequences, because I could see the other option would only lead to my death in a pit of despair and self-hatred.
I know it’s higher than average, but reinforcing the feeling that suicide might be the best thing they could do because the person they are before transitioning is the biggest loser ever and people should be glad that they’re dead? I don’t think that’s ok.
The post isn’t really advocating suicide, though. It is pointing out an alternative.
Sure, but as I mentioned in my first comment, not everyone is in a position where they can seek the alternative
True, but I don’t think this post is likely to push anyone over the edge, and that really has more to do with the lethality of their situation than the use of self-deprecating humour to reach people.
As someone who’s been there, this whole line of reasoning just feels like pearl-clutching.
You’re really working hard to miss the point here. I can’t help feeling that it’s on purpose.
idk there’s a number of reasons why someone could choose to detransiton or delay transition, even for many years because they see no other way to survive. They’re still people and their lives are still valuable
it feels a bit like the ableist “fate worse than death” “would rather die than end up like that” stuff that disabled people have to hear occasionally. Like yes, some people do live in a compromised state! It sucks but it’s life
Not trans (I think, arguments for closeted gender fluid could be made I suppose but that’s a different conversation I don’t think I’m ready to have) but if I were trans that’s exactly how I would feel. That a person who has been able to transition is, albeit indirectly, calling me a piece of shit loser who needs to die in order to be happy.
I’m glad OOP is happy and at least on the surface is confident, but the post just made me feel weird.
The sentiment of “oh no I’m watching someone die/mourning the death of my friend/son/daughter/cousin/whatever” can get fucked though. I guess you could see it as losing someone, but guess what, you didn’t lose anyone. The person is still the person, they might act outwardly more in line with how they feel, but they are still around. Instead of lamenting the loss of a son, celebrate the arrival of your daughter. Your cousin might look and sound different, but they still enjoy talking shit about video game companies and politicians. The woman standing at the mechanic desk is still perfectly knowledgeable about everything they were before.
Just because you weren’t aware of your daughter before she came out, doesn’t make her any less valid being here now. If you can’t handle that, well pour out your crocodile tears and have your narcissistic fit of “woe is me I have experienced such loss” I guess
*trans person describes personal experience
“No! You might make other people feel bad by describing your existence!”
Them describing their experience is perfectly ok, them doing it in a way that might make someone going through the same experience feel like shit about themself isn’t.
I’m sorry, what? Do people actually say that?? Wtf?
Relatives usually
If it’s just relatives saying that, you might have a good social circle, because relatives are the only ones you can’t choose.
Watch that Elon Musk interview with Jordan Peterson. Elon seriously says that his “son” died to “the Woke Mind Virus”. (His daughter Vivian is trans and is happily living far away from her father in Japan.)
Elon seriously says that his “son” died
To which Vivian responded “i look pretty good for a dead bitch”. What a queen.
I watched her interview with Hasan, and the thing that surprised me the most is she’s just a normal-ass 20-year-old. I never would’ve expected one of Elon’s kids to be that well-adjusted.
I think it’s more like seeing someone hatch XD
OH THAT IS WHY TRANS PEOPLE IN DENIAL ARE CALLED EGGS OMG I NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE!
Actually it’s kinda the other way around, I chose the hatching metaphor because of the egg terminology 😅
Yeah but the egg terminology exists because that’s what it’s like – hatching
Guys… This is becoming a chicken and egg problem…!
Maybe insects turning from larvae to imago is a better metaphor
Sorry what is the context? I am kind of out of the loop.
When trans people transition, some people, especially parents, experience a period of grief for the person they knew. Especially transphobic ones describe that as “my son died”.
And they’re right. He killed himself so that I might live.
“You know that friend that you loved? He was a piece of shit and so are you for caring about him”
