I am not joking when I say that I thinked for hours about how do people find each other in 2025.
Currently, the world is in very weird state. People online are either using social video platforms or they are reading news or lurking in online forums in it’s different shapes and forms.
Most chat platforms that I know had shut down and most alt social platforms are almost dead. Even Hackernews had started to see a lower amount of comments compared to previous years.
I want a serious answer, how should I find people online to talk to about anything really other than politics?
Love yourself and be content in being alone, get to know the real you. When you do that, you will find the right people. It will be instinctual.
Or you’ll just be alone with your cats forever because you no longer leave the house, but like it’s cool because you’re fine being alone.
Would still be neat to find a partner, though, but the likelihood she shows up at my house is pretty slim. Maybe I should order more doordash…
Hey people have dated and married over gaming chats before. I knew someone in college he met his then about to engage fiance. I lost contact after graduation though
I meet tons of people on Discord.
Check out https://slowly.app/ - its a penpall service that simulates snail mail which makes for great connections! You can get a random pall or choose one explicitly and the community there is really wholesome.
In their terms of service, they share data with ad companies and marketers. But I can’t copy paste it here because JavaScript
Edit: grammar
I posted on lemmy if anyone wanted to play games with me. Someone answered and we talk everyday since then, on most days we spend hours on video calls. Just try posting on whatever you use, you might find people you like.
You really want online? I guess playing games, discord, vrchat.
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
Where are you going to meet people IRL? What are you, 12? IRL doesn’t have any groups that do anything remotely interesting, and it’s expensive asf to travel and those groups are nigh-undiscoverable. And don’t harass random strangers, you’re not gonna make many friends like that, unless you mean in prison.
Brother I’m a young adult, I’ll give you some suggestions. Basically any sport, hobby, interest you have you can meet people. I hope this helps you, maybe I’ll see you out there.
Sports
- Pickleball
- Tennis
- Running
- Skateboarding (I have a 30 yo friend that still skateboards)
- All other types of skating
- Surfing
- Golfing
- Rock climbing
- Swimming
Sporty-ish
- Bowling?
- Go kart racing (like k1 speed stuff like that)
Outdoorsy stuff
- Hiking
- Backpacking
- Fishing
More Expensive Hobbies
- Archery
- Scuba diving
idk how to classify this
- Arcade like dave and busters
- RC cars, planes, etc
- Geocaching (join us)
Not physical stuff
- Book club
- Model trains
Volunteering
- Feed the homeless
- Beach Cleanup (I do this monthly because if Geocaching meetip events)
Staying at home trying to find people
- Discord chatting communities
- Video game servers with chat (some times I do this in CS surf servers)
- Vrchat
You were talking about IRL, yet mention game servers and VRC? Wut?
I do appreciate the suggestions but I wasn’t asking for advice lol, I was debating your point. I have no trouble meeting people, but your way isn’t one I’ve ever had success with, as a not-so-young-anymore adult. Online has been much more fruitful always.
I guess what you’re trying to say is if you’re into all those outdoorsy hobbies you end up meeting people IRL?
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You were talking about IRL, yet mention game servers and VRC? Wut?
I do appreciate the suggestions but I wasn’t asking for advice lol, I was debating your point. I have no trouble meeting people, but your way isn’t one I’ve ever had success with, as a not-so-young-anymore adult. Online has been much more fruitful always.
Outdoorsy stuff
- Hiking
- Backpacking
- Fishing
Probably wouldn’t try to meet any women in these scenarios though, unless you’re a grizzly bear of course.
Also
- Arcade like dave and busters
(Had to make the joke lmao sorry)
Where are you going to meet people IRL?
OP specifically said online.
Read the comment I’m replying to
Tbf, the comment they replied to said:
You really want online? I guess playing games, >discord, vrchat.
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
So with that in mind
Where are you going to meet people IRL?
Isn’t really that odd of a question to ask in response to
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
Back 10-15 years ago a friend tricked me into trying social dancing (think swing, salsa, tango, etc.) by telling me we were going bowling. They drove so I could not escape. Turns out I like it and since it’s not partnered a lot of people come alone and if you can summon up basic courtesy and respect, many of them will dance with you if you just ask. Different dances have different vibes. Swing is wholesome and a bit retro-nerdy, salsa is more flirty and extroverted, tango is intense and deeply technical. I made thousands of IRL acquaintances and dozens of friends doing this over the years. I never went or continued doing it because of the people, but they sure made it worth going. I never saw myself doing or liking this until I tried it. Now I can’t imagine my life without and I seek it out in every city I travel to. I imagine other hobbies could be similar. You can find group bike rides for various skill levels. Maybe your area has a nature hike club or a mycological society (people who study mushrooms). Poetry slams can be surprisingly cool too. None of this is advertised well, but a great place to look is in the back of an alternative newspaper that covers music and art and stuff like that. Like the back back, just before the weed and escort ads.
I have no interest in any of this.
it really helps to live in a city i think. run/cycling, ski meetups are where is at for me
Videogames.
Whatever you do, steer clear of meetup.com - all of their social activities on there now are scientologists thinly veiling their seminars as get-togethers.
That’s not true everywhere, my city has a pretty good meetup scene for various hobbies. However the amount of people who sell their useless courses as “meetup, but I will ask for a 20€ fee from everyone” or shady “we will talk about investing/crypto…” groups has gone up.
How does that even work lol
“What do you guys wanna do? Actually I know, let’s check out this building” “no you should really check out this building” “get in the fucking building”
“Guys I wanna leave”
“Okay but $50 and we will call your phone for eternity”
Here’s an example one: https://www.meetup.com/101-dating-relationships/events/307612236/
A couple years ago I had my discord nametag as my Mario Kart Wii nickname, zheg#someNumbers, random people added me and then talked with them while playing. Those were good ol’ days.
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Meeting people is much possible in the real world.
Is it? Fucking where? And how? Because all the people I know I’ve met through dating apps up, online forums, or knew them from school or uni. I have plenty of hobbies, but there aren’t any even vaguely related groups for them, and if they are, they aren’t very discoverable.
How do you not meet people? Even if you’re stuck in front of a computer all day you can go out to a pub or something at the weekend. Put yourself in a social environment and be friendly. It sounds like you even have experience of that from school and uni.
I’m in the US with no car (and not in a city), and don’t drink. No idea on anything that could even be mistaken for a social environment, especially when it requires money.
I mean yeah I’m also not wired for that, so add in other issues/oddities and that’s just how it is I guess.
I don’t have an answer about online methods… I went through the phase of how to meet people as well, and eventually decided to join / try out some group activities. I did some rookie dragon boating, table tennis, stand up paddle, and eventually met my forever spouse as she taught me scuba diving. PS: other than the scuba diving, those were all free activities for beginners. Good luck
I hear Lemmy is pretty good as a sort of forum, maybe you’ve heard of it?
But more seriously, I’ve found that social media platforms (even the fediverse ones) tend to limit connections to surface-level. I personally wouldn’t rely on them to find people to talk to. But if you’re looking for communities who share similar interests, it’s very good at that. If you’re looking for individuals, the next best thing is sliding into someone’s DMs to have a more focused one-on-one conversation. I’d recommend against doing that without some other interaction first (it looks scammy).
In case you want to chat, my DMs are open.
VRChat is an option. Takes effort to make your way to the cool people tho.
Ancients or relics depending on your timezone OP. That’s the good shit, some of the coolest people I’ve met.
What things are you interested in? Video games, ttrpgs, anime, cinema, woodworking, sports, fast cars, sneakers, programming, yoga, wines, bdsm, books, drawing, dogs, veganism, religion, music, hiking?
Whatever the answer is, find a community for it or adjacent to it. On Lemmy, Reddit, Discord, Matrix, or some obscure forum.
And then, the last step, is engage with that community.
This.
