As more and more states pass laws targeting “pornographic material” in books and online, they are repeatedly running up against a problem: The Bible has not just a few passages that could be considered indecent

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    The Davis School District initially removed the Bible from school libraries after a review determined it did include “vulgar” content. But the school board unanimously reversed its decision after a review by an appeal committee determined the text has " significant, serious value for minors which outweighs the violent or vulgar content it contains," the AP reported.

    There’s no hypocrisy here.

    • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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      We all knew they were gonna figure out a way that the law doesn’t apply to them and the stuff they like. That’s like the fundamental constant of conservatives, it’s different when we do it because we’re not those people.

      • Riyosha_Namae@reddthat.com
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        “Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.” –Francis M. Wilhoit

    • SeaJ@lemm.ee
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      Porn just needs some inspirational quotes to go along with it.

    • socsa@lemmy.ml
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      TBF understanding that horses are known for their voluminous ejaculation is critical knowledge for children.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      Time to start giving the kids leaflets that highlight all the Communist teachings of Christ. Use The Bible to radicalize the youth!

      Betcha they yank the book, tout suite.

      • Kittenstix@lemmy.world
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        They’d just lie and say the pamphlets are twisting Jesus’ words and use that as a pretext to ban the pamphlets.

        Cognitive dissonance is a helluva drug

        • AmberPrince@lemmy.world
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          They would also use it as an excuse to try and teach the Bible in schools. Ya know, to correct the misinformation in those pamphlets.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        Well, church leaders have been reporting that the sermon on the mount (or whatever) is being criticized as woke. Maybe there’s something to this idea after all.

    • kromem@lemmy.world
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      Less indecent if it’s remnant from the days of a famine.

      A mistake a lot of people make in analyzing the text is in assuming the official story about its origin, contents, and authorship is correct outside supernatural stuff.

      But there’s actually a compelling case Noah was originally a story about escaping a famine, so there may well have been a period when eating the flesh of one’s children was a part of the ancestral history of the people transmitting the stories.

      The Geeks have similar stories.

      It may well be that Deuteronomy 28:48-57 isn’t a warning about a certain future event, but a warning from similar things having happened many times before.

      Eating your family because an army whose language you don’t even know is sieging your city and you are all starving is probably just a fairly common part of many generations of history around the world during those times.

      There’s much worse things in the Bible than likely representative history.

      • sceada@lemmy.world
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        The Geeks have similar stories.

        I’m sure they do, especially in their D&D Campaigns.

      • creamed_eels@toast.ooo
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        Fair, but you’re looking at it from a good faith perspective that examines the spirit of the “law” for want of a better term, rather than the literal meaning of it, as I did. That was a deliberate glibness on my part because I wanted to examine and interpret it in the same way that the bible apologists and literalists do in order to cherry pick passages in the bible to further their hateful idiot agenda. You can find and interpret both support and condemnation in the bible for anything, often in the same passage depending on who’s reading it. Thanks for the interesting link!

    • GiddyGap@lemm.ee
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      Or pretty much all of Song of Solomon.

      Example (Song of Solomon 7:6‭-‬9):

      How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth.

  • elevenfingerfrk@lemm.ee
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    Judges:19 where a guy throws his side piece to a crowd that wants to rape him in hopes they’ll be satisfied with raping her instead.

    • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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      The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil…wait…23:20? Oh. Well nevermind then.

      • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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        Now I kinda want to hear Sam Jackson say “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

        Also, why the need to specify a distinction between donkey genitals and horse semen? Do horses or donkeys have bigger cocks? Do horses or donkeys cum more? I don’t know, but whoever wrote that passage into the Bible seemed to know.

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          Same size cocks but donkey are smaller so they look bigger. In those days a flaccid bee-dick was the mark of a cool-headed thinking man; clearly capable of controlling their profane lust.

          And it’s not that the average horse smell worse than a donkey, their ass is just closer to most people’s nose.

          • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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            Ok, so I think we’ve settled the theological debate around the relative size of of horse cock vs. donkey cock.

            What about the relative quantity of their emissions?

            • vladmech@lemmy.world
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              RIP to my browser history. It looks like it scales with size but donkeys on average are 100-200 mL and horses are more in the 200-400mL. So, you know, up to a can of soda worth worth…

              • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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                Your service to the internet is mildly appreciated!

                I just read the whole chapter. It’s all just ancient porn. But there’s a plot hole… So Oholah and Oholibah (the one that liked donkey dick) were sisters, both prostitutes. Oholah is raped and killed by Assyrians. But then later Oholah makes an appearance in the bondage gang bang scene with the drunkards from the desert? WTF, 50 shades of grey is better written that this. Well maybe that’s going too far, but still this is badly written porn.

                But I liked this part:

                14 “But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea.

                My girl Oholibah hitting up dudes on ancient day Tinder.

        • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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          Is it a donkey thats an infertile crossbreed of a horse and a mule, or is it a mule that’s an infertile crossbreed of a horse and a donkey? I can’t remember off the top of my head but that feels like it could affect the…ahem… emissions

          • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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            I think it’s a mule that’s an infertile cross between a donkey and a horse.

            But we need to also consider that horses were significantly smaller back in those days. People will often say a pony is a smaller breed of horse, but it’s actually more accurate to say a horse is a larger breed of a pony. They bred them to be bigger over the years since that made them able to carry more weight.

            So was the Biblical passage saying “well she wasn’t so depraved to want the much larger horse cock, she was at least demure enough to only want donkey cock”? Or was horse cock smaller in those days so was it saying “horse cock wasn’t big enough for her, she desired men with the much larger donkey cock”?

            This may have serious theological ramifications and needs more research.

  • fne8w2ah@lemmy.world
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    Spez may be a hurensohn but at least Reddit users still have their heads screwed tight.

  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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    Has someone started reading the other source books? They can’t be perfectly clean either.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    Reddit for all of its faults and hideous admin team always did have a marvellous sense of humour. Only thing I miss about it.