Anyone Else? Can’t just me me, right?
- To drive a car: you need a licence.
- To Fish: you need a licence.
- To own a dog: You need a licence.
- To raise children: No license needed. We need more of them anyways. Please pump out as many of them as you can!
Technically, my parents needed a permit from PRC government before they could give have children (has nothing to do with “whether you can parent or not” tho, its a birth control thing).
准生證 (baidu site via google translate)
Wikitionary: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/准生證#ChineseBut anyways, they violated the One Child Policy (it was in effect when I was born) so… here I am… my existence is technically “illegal” lol
my existence is technically “illegal” lol
Small community Lemmy, you’re one of those commenters that I feel like I kinda know (even though I totally don’t. But I seem to upvote you a lot, so you’re recognizable in a good way.) I just want to say, I think this is a really cool fact about you. It’s like you were born a badass.
The only things that could make it cooler would be if you were born with your middle fingers raised, or your first words were, “Fuck the system” (in any language.)
To own a dog: You need a licence.
What ? In what country ?
In most areas in the USA you need to get a Rabies tag. You pay the county (or whatever) a fee and get a certificate and a tag to put on your dog collar. Both are numbered and can be used to get your information if your dog is picked up by animal control. They don’t always call it a license, but that’s basically what it is.
Oh
In europe we have subdermal microchip implants for that (the animal can’t lose it and doesn’t need to wear a collar). Also they aren’t mandatory but practically every pet that is allowed to go outside has one.
That’s a little high tech for governments in most areas of the USA. We pay the tax and get a stamped piece of metal (a literal dog-tag).
You can get your pet chipped here in the USA too, for a small fee, but that’s just to help you get them back if they get lost. In some regions it’s not worth it for that though. We used to live in Illinois and many pets were chipped in that area (outside of Chicago). All the vets and animal controls there had scanners and would check when an unidentified pet came in. We’ve since moved down south. Nobody has scanners here and many people have never even heard of them.
We have those too, but for a different/backup purpose. The tag is government issued and must be regularly renewed to show you’re keeping up on vaccines and shit. The subdermal microchip (if the animal has one) is used for lost animals if there isn’t a visible tag.
We “need” a rabies tag in the same way that you need a “TV” license in the UK except far less taken rate. Op is greatly exaggerating here.
Absolutely no enforcement except as secondary issues arise.
I have literally never heard of anyone volunteering that they have a dog, and they did buy the “mandatory” license.
Ah, the wisdom of Keanu :)
You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Adopting a rescue dog has various home checks and interviews and welfare checks. Leaving hospital with a baby: “Do you have a car seat for them?”, “Yes…”, “You’re all good to go then!”, “…”
Adopting a human has the same checks…
My dad would occasionally tell us stories from his childhood. Stuff like his dad grabbing him by the shirt collar and repeatedly punching him in the face. When I was a kid it was just another story. When I got old enough to actually understand what he was talking about it was like, “God damn. No wonder you’re like this.”
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It didn’t undo anything he did but it did help me hate him less.
I think I’m really fortunate that my dad somehow realized he completely fucked up and made an effort to repair his relationship with his kids. We’re on good terms now and he’s a way better Grandpa than he was a father. I know a lot of people go through their whole lives only getting to see the worst side of their parents. My dad included.
You are not alone. Your parents do not define your value. Despite their best or worst efforts, they do not ultimately get to decide what kind of person you will be.
My dad would occasionally tell us stories from his childhood. Stuff like his dad grabbing him by the shirt collar and repeatedly punching him in the face.
Bruuuh. I feel like I really shouldn’t complain that much. Some of y’all got even more fucked up childhood than I did. My parents never hit me that hard, it was merely slap on my hand. So like… in an “overton window” where corporal punishment is socially acceptable, its actually kinda tame in comparison. I’m never gonna be like “okay” with that idea, its still very… unacceptable regardless of how society views hitting your kids, but like, to be fair, judging by that standards, on that “overton window”, I didn’t get abused that badly. My parents also didn’t drink or gamble, so… I guess I got lucky the abuse is mostly just emotional. (still… depression is kinda slowly making me wanna kms)
(still… depression is kinda slowly making me wanna kms)
I tried that once when I was a teenager. Obviously, I failed. Kind of a cruel irony being told that you’re never going to amount to anything and then, as you’re working on your own suicide, you suck so bad at tying knots that you fail at that too.
20+ years later, I’m glad I failed. Depression is a deep dark hole that can feel completely inescapable. It’s not inescapable with the right help. You don’t have to do it alone. You just have to be willing to ask for help.
My life so far has been a hard one. It’s been made much harder by the fact that my stupid little brain is broken and makes it extremely difficult to regulate my own emotions. But there’s glimmers of joy in the middle of all the hardness. I have things now that I never could have imagined on that day in my parents garage.
Things like self love and a sense of self worth, a family of my own, people to whom I matter a great deal, and a wealth of experiences that have taught me a great many valuable lessons. Back then I didn’t think anyone would care if I stopped existing. Now, I know that’s not true. Sometimes I’m still here because I’m enjoying my life. Sometimes because I know there are people who love and need me. Somwtimes it’s because even though I don’t feel like that’s true, I know it is and I’m leaning on my meds until my feelings normalize. For me, that’s enough to keep me here until my time is finally up.
Keep doing you. You got this. Posted my story above yours and it definitely feels similar so I feel your pain.
You are really strong for everytbing you habe endured brl/sis. We got this alright! No matter what!! Also read up on any articles https://goodgoodgood.co/ says about Hope (The June One, This October one, The Hope Quotes one, and more). That is what has been keeping me going. Kinda why I keep spreading word about it too. They talk about how it is fundamental for everybodies lives based on research
I posted a really hopeful post on I think it was on politics community (I know politics suck) about the Senate Dems Caving. Made The Post To Help Boost Morale For The People. Take a read of it. Especially since it mentions the hope articles I mentioned above with links. It definitely makes the meltdowns happen a lot less
Will definitely do everything you recommend too. We got this!!
Here’s direct link:
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“Stop that, you could get hurt!”
“Ugh, just be on my side for once!”
My mother has never properly apologized to me for anything in her life. She says she’s not the perfect mother but if you ask her about details of what she feels she did wrong, she will get angry. I honestly don’t talk to her anymore. Homophobic, racist, islamaphobic, etc. I don’t need to put up with that and no one else should be forced to either.
Probably the first time I have seen someone else start a conversation about it, instead of me doing and people feeling comfortable enough to join in with their two cents.
Damn, a whole lotta folks with not the greatest childhoods.
I think I may have been luckier than I realized.
That was the case. She lost my trust since I was very young. But fortunately I have a great father, who is intelligent and caring. I often feel sorry for him to have to live with my mother. On the bright side, their relationship seems get better in the resent years. Maybe time did heal.
I imagine you would sound like my daughter
My parents were physical with me early in life until they felt they could talk it out. My family always put restrictions on things and I didn’t really have input into things while I was there, my adult relationship was largely listening to them complain about their health, dodge political conversations and really never got to input anything into a conversation. If I did mention something they treated it as an ask for guidance and not just something to talk about. My parents never knew the real me that they developed. Thankfully I diverged after I left home as their politics are ghastly
Abusive parents the second you defend yourself effectively: “I didn’t know you had teeth, sorry for biting you.”
Because when you see a wooden spoon, it’s just a wooden spoon. When I see a wooden spoon, I see a weapon.
The day we figured out we could grab the spoon from her and break it was very liberating.
I’m very fortunate that I have great parents and was brought up well. I’ve never been treated badly by them. However, they have a very strained relationship with each other and it’s been like this for years. But they’re still together. It’s very uncomfortable for me and my siblings because they can barely be in the same room for an hour without an argument breaking out.
Sometimes I think they should have divorced years ago and they would have been much happier.
You’re not alone.
I still haven’t decided when or if I’ll ever tell my mom about the ptsd she gave us. At this point, with the ways she’s changed over the years, I’m not confident she’ll listen or believe me.
Bad parents pointing at “screaming at your child regularly”:
Is this being strict?
has depression
Parents: “I guess we weren’t strict enough, now you are a loser that goes to doctors and dependent on pills”
“I did my best”
You never even TRIED taking responsibility for anything, maybe divert some of that effort there instead.
