How about an adolescent kangaroo?
Blue whale.
You never said I had to win.
They also never said in which environment:
Stranded blue whale.
In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. “Yeah bitch, you better run!”
Doesn’t “think you can take on” imply winning though? If not at least surviving with most limbs attached.
Sit in its blowhole until it suffocates?
Obviously I am not advocating for these beautiful majestic giant beasts to be killed but if it was a life or death thing… I’d be getting in that blowhole like a big old human tampon.
They can hold their breath for 30-90 minutes and can dive to 1000 feet. Good luck.
Their error was sitting in the blowhole. The trick is you have to go in head first so you can steal the oxygen from the whales lungs.
I’m so fucked. But I’ll wedge myself in deep, if I’m going down I’m taking it with me!
(reality would be it’d surface and blow me out like a floppy ragdoll)
Later the whale is telling his buddy about the worst booger he had to get rid of.
They have 2 20inch holes, so make sure to bring a buddy!
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It isn’t blowhole.
Get him on land and just keep punching for a few hours and you might just win!
Your mom!
Ah ya bastard
A blue whale. (they won’t fight back b/c they don’t consider me a threat, and so when they wander away I win by technicality)
Most beasts under 80 lbs. Over 80 lbs, it’s gonna be on a case by case basis. 90 lb sloth, no problem. 81 lb wolf, …problem.
The biggest animal I feel confident in is an 800 lb human. Huge, but that fucker’s gonna be exhausted ten seconds into the fight.
A human
ew, i dont want to touch one of thoser with my bare hands though.
Good luck if it bites you. I heard they are real dirty.
Yeah, OP never said the animal had to be non-sapient.
I could totally take a 6-year-old human.
fuck off those things are animals
1 Lemmy
A giant squid. It would have to be on land though (you never said we had to do it in their natural habitat).
Galapagos tortoise. That’s the largest I can think of without teeth and claws, not fast, and not in water.
Definitely something smaller than a grasshopper… Lost that fight a few days ago.
Sunfish.
They are enormous wastes of flesh and evolutionary effort.
I can totally choke a chicken
Have lots of practice do we?
Hey man… I can also spank monkeys.
Probably a fainting goat.
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A blue whale, as long as we’re on land.
