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themaninblack@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 3 months ago

Eating

lemmy.world

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Eating

lemmy.world

themaninblack@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 3 months ago
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  • Manjushri@piefed.social
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    3 months ago

    She hasn’t heard from him since? She’d better unclench and make sure he’s okay…

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      3 months ago

      Well did she ever give his nose back?

      • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Give him his nose back! Give him his nose back!

  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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    3 months ago

    If you can’t laugh during sex, then what dafuq are we even doing here‽

    • ngdev@lemmy.zip
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      3 months ago

      bc if you laugh it reminds me that my tiny peen is a joke and the erection goes away

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        Unless you’re like 1.5 in 10,000(.015%),I can assure you your average or slightly above.

        Edit: can’t help myself, there’s an abnormal amount of angry small dick fuckers here(of which, you are not one!).

        • SacralPlexus@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s how bell curves work.

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            Edit to also add; my bad for making someone else feel better about themselves. I’ll try not to make that mistake again.

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            3 months ago

            I would ask you to look it up.

            Edit to add; micropenis affects about .015%. I find it weird others are disagreeing.

            • wischi@programming.dev
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              3 months ago

              I think they disagree because not having a micropenis (in the medical sense) doesn’t imply that you are above average.

              Assuming penis length is distributed normally exactly 50% of people are below average. If you remove 0.15‰ from that you are practically still left with about 50% that don’t have a micropenis and are below average.

              • pet the cat, walk the dog@lemmy.world
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                3 months ago

                What if 90% of people have the exact average length, and the rest are the bell curve?

                • wischi@programming.dev
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                  Nice though experiment, but doesn’t hold up to scrutiny on many levels (not meant in a condescending way, just to spinn that thought experiment further)

                  First, we can’t even agree on how/what to exactly measure with penis length. Even if we fixed that, the actual distribution itself doesn’t have buckets (like size ranges) but would contain all data points individually. If we measure with unreasonably high precision and assume that penis length is a real (in a mathematical sense) number than there is a 0% chance that two people have the same penis length and there would be no person that has an exactly average penis length.

                  Stepping back from this thought experiment, there is data for penis length and the standard deviation is wider than most people would expect, it’s far from 90% being average unless your average bucket is something like 5-20cm

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                3 months ago

                Homie, there is no swaying me.

                Someone felt bad about themselves and I presented them with a counter.

                Fuck it, maybe I have a micro peen? And I was just trying to help out a fellow homie.

                Edit to add: doesn’t matter if they do or not!

                What’s important is it not being fucking important!

                Edit edit: I think that last line is one of coolest things I ever typed.

                • datavoid@sh.itjust.works
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                  3 months ago

                  Being swayed by facts is not a bad thing

                • wischi@programming.dev
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                  I really appreciate people helping other people especially because the internet is often such a harsh and toxic place, but I don’t think presenting a counter that’s factually wrong really helps.

                  And you are right, it’s not important. I mean it’s not even a requirement to have a penis at all for intimacy. So unless you don’t have a tongue, no hands (not even 10 fingers required) you should be ok. You could also try toys.

                  Penis length is often an ego thing and that’s hard to fix in a lemmy comment.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                3 months ago

                I didn’t talk my penis. But I’m certain yours is small.

                Edit: whoa whoa whoa, I’m not sure what I said in context. But I did NOT mean to insult you like it sounds!

            • FishFace@piefed.social
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              3 months ago

              You are the first person to mention micropenis

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                Lol, thanks for trying to use that as a cudgel. I’m comfortable with the size of my bits.

                But thanks for focusing on that.

                Edit to add: this entire interaction started with me telling someone they didn’t have one!

                This is really not a good look for you homie, trying to dog pile on at the last minute…

                • FishFace@piefed.social
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                  But you’re still the first to mention it. Why are you telling someone they don’t have a micropenis when they didn’t say anything to suggest they had one? It makes no sense. That’s why your thread was so off the rails, because you started a massive non sequitur.

    • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      I guess wearing a rigid mask?

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        Yeah.

        Perfectly one that shows you as a terrible person.

        Go ahead and dawn a donald trump mask. You deserve it!

        • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Um, what?

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            Honestly, don’t know what I was going on about.

            My bad.

            But the sentiment remains!

            I’m angry at you, and don’t know what for.

            Forgive me.

            • antonymous_bosch69@feddit.org
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              I mean no offense, just figured I’ll post the relevant Wiki article

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masking_(behavior)

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                Real talk, do you think I’m being abusive?

                I will trust your judgement, and reflect.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                deleted by creator

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                deleted by creator

        • maccentric@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          *don

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            You get the upvote just cause I’m so confused.

    • blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      … fuckin’?

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        “what the fuq”- meant

    • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

      • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        You ever hear the sound a man makes when he eats a handful of bees?

        • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        ¿Quein no?

        • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

          • 0x0@lemmy.zip
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            3 months ago

            Ninja na cama.

            • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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              deleted by creator

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            3 months ago

            Justa

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      We laugh at hexbear accounts. Lol cowbee and so on.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        I’ll admit I goatded some of those idiots(and got banned from a bunch of communities), but they are extremely smart people.

        Edit to clarify.

        • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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          I’m sure that they are. So are we. The difference is we can be smart, hold an opinion, and not be insufferable.

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            3 months ago

            “we”‽

            You might be smart. But I’m dumb as fuck.

            • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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              Idk I like your username so it sounded smart. My PhD is not related to social things.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                3 months ago

                Thanks for looking, but I’m pretty pro Palestine.

                Don’t know if that changes your opinion. But I chose this name many moons ago.

                • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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                  I don’t think there’s anything not smart about being pro Palestine. I think that’s a safely considered opinion.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                Fuck me! I just read that you have a PhD!

                You are definitely smarter than me

                • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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                  It’s only rocket science, has nothing to do with shitposting on Lemmy. I wouldnt worry about it.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          (Goaded* sorry not trying to be a dick just trying to be helpful)

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            No! You’re not a dick! Thank you for correcting me!

          • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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            Ah that explains it. I was thinking new slang just dropped.

            “THEY GOT GreatestOfAllTimed!!!” (Air horns, John Cena, etc)

    • Hupf@feddit.org
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      https://youtube.com/shorts/lPt4WOjBd3U

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        That “waka waka” fucking killed me!

        • Hupf@feddit.org
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          Sadly that’s the only version of that scene I found.

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            I think you misunderstand my sentiment. I was laughing so hard, it was difficult to breathe.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

  • Flickerby@lemmy.zip
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    Sex is supposed to be a fun bonding experience. I see no problem. If you can’t have dumb fun with your naked bestie who can you have fun with

    • dingleberrylover@lemmy.world
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      This guy fucks

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      deleted by creator

      • minkymunkey_7_7@lemmy.world
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        Nature eventually balances itself in an environment, in a ecosystem.

        Just a few years ago the billionaires were running the story in all media that the world is too overpopulated and can’t handle more than 9 billion and there won’t be enough resources. Suddenly after covid they realize that they need the wage slave feudal system for their power and now boo hoo nobody is making children anymore.

        • DylanMc6 [any, any]@lemmy.ml
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          Time to organize, and study socialist/communist theory. Seriously!

      • DylanMc6 [any, any]@lemmy.ml
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        Are there any solutions to this, and if the US were a socialist society, what would people do?

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          • DylanMc6 [any, any]@lemmy.ml
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            3 months ago

            Are you saying that unless we tear down all the monopolies (whether by way of reform or revolution (or both)) and encourage collective action, the film Idiocracy might come true, but hundreds of years earlier?

    • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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      The naked grandmother and former meth addict I met on Facebook dating?

      You think I’m making a tasteless joke, but now who’s the one being judgmental?

  • dwemthy@lemmy.world
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    Green flag

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      brown flag.

  • dontsayaword@piefed.social
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    Some of us pay good money for that

    • nymnympseudonym@piefed.social
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      One of the best things about monogamy is how freely bodily fluids of all kinds can be shared carefree

      (Unless it’s feces; that’s not out-of-the-box sanitary)

      • Mr Fish@lemmy.world
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        Well feces ideally isn’t a fluid

        • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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          I’m SORRY if we can’t all meet Cosmo’s latest unrealistic beauty standard of the week. If you can’t handle my feces at its most-fluid, you don’t deserve it at its most-viscous.

          • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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            It took me a moment to realize you were referring to Cosmo the magazine. I saw that OP’s username is Mr Fish and immediately thought of Cosmo and Wanda.

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              Mr Fish + Cosmo makes my brain completely skip the fun show made by a horrible person and go to A Fish Called Wanda for whatever reason

        • 0x0@lemmy.zip
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          2 girls disagree.

    • 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔@lemmy.world
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      Most managers pay good money for people who brown-nose them

  • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works
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    That’s honestly hilarious. I’d be laughing

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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    Lord, I’d cum and then propose.

    • MouldyCat@feddit.uk
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      And if I was her, I’d wait til you were fingering my asshole then say, “Told you I’d put a ring on it”

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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    Some girl took that selfie and never imagined someone would caption it like this.

    • hateisreality@lemmy.world
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      She’s a inadvertent goddamn rockstar

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        or AI… happy 0b11111101010!!!

  • wabafee@lemmy.world
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    Dude got suffocated by an anus.

    • naticus@lemmy.world
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      Mine hasn’t ever suffocated someone, but it has cleared rooms before.

  • Gust@piefed.social
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    The best sex I’ve ever had was with a woman who regularly (temporarily) cockblocked herself by making me laugh so hard I couldn’t stay hard

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      deleted by creator

      • Gust@piefed.social
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        I think the problem is less horny 14yos and more the fact that they listen to scum like Andrew Tate or the Paul brothers growing up. I see so many teenagers who live a life where the only voice in their life that speaks positively of/to them is the chud on social media trying to groom them into an angry incel. Let’s be better than blaming children for the fact that we as a society have given up the act of raising kids in favor of generating more shareholder value. It’s not the kids’ fault that both of their parents probably work 50+ hour weeks to survive and youtube is the only parent in the house most of the time

  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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    He’s been busy shopping for a ring

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    what if she farts, or accidentally poops.

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      Surprise pinkeye

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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        probably get more than just pinkeye.

    • NachBarcelona@piefed.social
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      How the fuck do you accidentally poop

      • Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works
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        When you let one rip and you go: “oh shit!”

        • 0x0@lemmy.zip
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          Oh, shit.
          Sorry for being anal, punctuation matters.

      • 0x0@lemmy.zip
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        The art of sharting.

        • NachBarcelona@piefed.social
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          the sound of sounding

      • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
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        Ever heard of a shart? lol

        • NachBarcelona@piefed.social
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          I do remote work. I’m the shart lieutenant.

    • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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      Discover if you’ve got a scatological fetish

      • ExtremeUnicorn@feddit.org
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        Is that what the scatman is?

    • dingleberrylover@lemmy.world
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      I wouldn’t worry

  • darthinvidious@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Let’s get this tending y’all. 2026 resolution freebie right there. lmao

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Community rules

1. Be civil

No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politics

This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world

3. No recent reposts

Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No bots

No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop

No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

  • !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
  • !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
  • !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
  • !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
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  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • BE: 0.19.5
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