I heard an interview with a woman who tried to commit suicide. She was having lots of suicidal thoughts without actually planning to do anything, like you are. But, one day something happened and suddenly she decided that was it. I think she took a lethal dose of pills and she was just lucky someone happened to find her before it was too late. I think that’s a very common sequence of events.
She now really regrets trying to do that and works to try to prevent other people from committing suicide.
I’ve also been there, thinking about it without actually ever planning to… I regret not getting therapy sooner.
My point is this is actually serious and therapy may help you enjoy life more. What’s the point in living if you’re not enjoying it? Why not do what you can to make it more enjoyable? And maybe it would prevent you from doing something really regrettable.
I think you should at least call a hotline and explain your feelings to someone who knows about this stuff professionally. I’ve heard they get a lot of calls that are much less important and they’re still happy to help.
Again, I appreciate your concern but I really am not at risk. Im far too good at what I have been trained to do to take myself out before what’s to come. Im not going out senselessly. Fuck that. If I can help people, I will. And unfortunately I have been trained to be good at keeping people safe while they do their job. I assume that in the near future, my skills will be needed to help keep people safe from worse people.
Edit: it’s less “I wanna die” and more “I’m willing to die on this hill”
I heard an interview with a woman who tried to commit suicide. She was having lots of suicidal thoughts without actually planning to do anything, like you are. But, one day something happened and suddenly she decided that was it. I think she took a lethal dose of pills and she was just lucky someone happened to find her before it was too late. I think that’s a very common sequence of events.
She now really regrets trying to do that and works to try to prevent other people from committing suicide.
I’ve also been there, thinking about it without actually ever planning to… I regret not getting therapy sooner.
My point is this is actually serious and therapy may help you enjoy life more. What’s the point in living if you’re not enjoying it? Why not do what you can to make it more enjoyable? And maybe it would prevent you from doing something really regrettable.
I think you should at least call a hotline and explain your feelings to someone who knows about this stuff professionally. I’ve heard they get a lot of calls that are much less important and they’re still happy to help.
Again, I appreciate your concern but I really am not at risk. Im far too good at what I have been trained to do to take myself out before what’s to come. Im not going out senselessly. Fuck that. If I can help people, I will. And unfortunately I have been trained to be good at keeping people safe while they do their job. I assume that in the near future, my skills will be needed to help keep people safe from worse people.
Edit: it’s less “I wanna die” and more “I’m willing to die on this hill”