Every communication with my ex. No amount of explaining what I actually was saying could fix the initial communication issue. Whatever she thought I was saying in that first moment was the only thing she would ever believe.
I dated a girl once who really enjoyed toxic arguments. She would flip out over the most basic random crap. The times I lost my cool and said something hurtful it’s like she got high. She lived for those arguments. Which, in the short term, lead to some pretty, let’s say enthusiastic aftermath. In the long term I was genuinely surprised to find she’s still alive.
Yea, when I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with her. That helped. But no, nothing actually helped. I would tell her what I actually meant and she’d just ignore it and repeat the misunderstanding. When I called out that I’m telling her now how I actually feel and she’s just repeating the misunderstanding, she’d just completely ignore me.
Every communication with my ex. No amount of explaining what I actually was saying could fix the initial communication issue. Whatever she thought I was saying in that first moment was the only thing she would ever believe.
I dated a girl once who really enjoyed toxic arguments. She would flip out over the most basic random crap. The times I lost my cool and said something hurtful it’s like she got high. She lived for those arguments. Which, in the short term, lead to some pretty, let’s say enthusiastic aftermath. In the long term I was genuinely surprised to find she’s still alive.
I’ve known people like this; can confirm it’s 100% as you describe.
How was the make up sex though?
Was there anything at all that helped?
Sounds frustratingly similar to something I’ve been dealing with.
Yea, when I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with her. That helped. But no, nothing actually helped. I would tell her what I actually meant and she’d just ignore it and repeat the misunderstanding. When I called out that I’m telling her now how I actually feel and she’s just repeating the misunderstanding, she’d just completely ignore me.
Crucial Conversations and Sue Johnson’s book/workbook on conversations. Can’t recommend those enough. They’ve changed my life