The only time you truly fail is when you give up prematurely.

Every Chess Grandmaster has lost more games than the average person has played.

You rarely succeed without failure.

Failure is a chance to learn. Why did you fail? How could you improve? How could you fix the problem even after failing? How could you ensure you don’t fail again?

These are all things you typically can’t learn until you fail and have to answer these questions.

I fail at things everyday. But because I’ve failed so many times with so many things I know how to fix things or how to set myself up so failure isn’t possible.

I think about what I could’ve done better, and figure out how I’ll avoid the same problems when I try again.

I read a book for a bit and pet my cat.

Recalibrate your thought process.

Life isn’t a game even if too many people treat it as such. There are no winners or losers. Broad ideas of “success” and “failure” are social constructs, almost always tied to artificial things like money and status. You don’t have to care about these things at all. You can simply unsubscribe from that ideology. All we need to do is live, and all we should want is to thrive.

When it comes to failing to meet personal goals, it’s better to think of your progress and establish milestones.

Imagine a person learning to skateboard with a goal of doing a kickflip, how many times do you think that they will need to fail at the trick before successfully landing it the first time? Even after they land it once, what will their success ratio be for that trick over the next 6 months? Anyone who has tried skateboarding knows that it’s hard, and that you have to be mentally and physically prepared to fall and maybe get hurt, because “failure” is just part of the learning process.

by learning from it and trying a different tack

Eliminate all the shit that drags you down. This is what I did

• Cut my shitty toxic family out of my life.
• Cut all shitty toxic people out of my personal life, doing that for your professional life is much harder.
• Stopped smoking pot and taking other intoxicants daily.
• Stopped eating bad food and sStarted exercising regularly; this really helped my sleep schedule.
• Quit smoking cigarettes… holy fuck that habit drags you down.

Learn and move on

Failure is just part of the game my friend. Like all experiences it shapes who we are as a person. I’d even argue we are shaped more by our failures than our successes. Focus on recovering from the failure. Decide if you want to try again with a different approach or if you should just stop. Knowing when to quit is a skill most folks underestimate. Sometimes things are just not meant to be and knowing when to quit keeps you from wasting your time trying again and again.

When you never succeed you don’t know the difference.

to a typical person failure is the best teacher. it shows you what you did wrong and you figure out why it didn’t work.

there’s a quote supposedly by Thomas Edison that’s fitting for your question.

I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.

point is, you never truly fail as long as you learned something.

however, people with high anxiety may not feel the same way because they’re too focused on results over experience. to them my best advice is this; get medicated. I say this as a medicated anxious person. if that’s not possible for you, learning from your failures will take more effort.

it helped me to write my failures out, one sheet of paper only. discuss the points with myself as if I was talking to a person on the sheet of paper. discuss what I did wrong and next steps to resolve the problem. once I was done, I burned the paper. While burning it I envisioned all the failure burning with it along with all the stress and anxiety. this gave me control over the failure and the outcome of the failure and allowed me to take the next steps to resolve it as I had discussed on the paper.

failure should be a good thing in a way. It allows for understanding and growth. No one understands anything from just having the right answer. Much like the phrase life is a journey, understanding is a search. In searching for a right answer you really learn to understand the topic. This is why even if ai was perfect with its answers it really bad to use it unnecessarily. This is high level though. you will learn things by repition. its called rote learning. It tends to be siloed and isolated. You can memorize the capitals of the 50 states but that won’t tell you why a place became the capital and you can even memorize a blurb about why wor when but again its all kinda siloed and you really did not get an understanding around it.

Kinda lost my train of thought but the problem is with a society where failure results in not being able to live a good life. that trumpin sucks. and I found my new target word.

You don’t. Distracting yourself from the emotional experience is how you develop supressed emotions that will keep cropping up for years to come. Instead of trying to distract yourself from these emotions, when they crop up, just take a moment to notice how it feels, and accept it. First be courageous to feel your difficult emotions, then be willing to feel them completely. As you sit with your feelings, they will tend to dissipate over the course of a few seconds or minutes. Then later, the feeling will come back, and you may again feel an aversion to feeling it. And then, again, you can sit with it. Note that there is no pressure to “do it right” any time you feel these emotions since, after all, the emotions will just keep coming back until you have fully processed them.

You note in another comment that you don’t know how to embrace something that hurts you. But it isn’t complicated. Pain and discomfort are just feelings, and we can accept them with equanimity. It just takes practice.

I don’t. I can’t even do that right!

I stay informed of current events, wherein I am constantly reminded that the world is absolutely chalk full of far, far greater failures than anything I’ve ever fucked up, or am even capable of fucking up.