My dream is to die with absolutely nothing but massive bank debt. I have no living relatives, so there is no one to get the money from. I mean, “Hello Mr. Twat you have terminal cancer” next stop is the bank to take out the biggest loan my excellent credit will let me get. Tom Selleck the house go to Vegas bet it all on black until it’s gone return home and burn the house down around me fuck the bank…a boy can dream lol
Legally give a homeless person ownership of the house
That’s a better, less petty idea but the bank would just take it from them.
I’d totally do this if I had no family
Having a family is a solvable problem.
I mean I could get rid of them I suppose, but others put up with worse.
Graveyards are a waste of space & good land. Land is for the living. Cremation is the way; it is clean, responsible, & considerate.
. I’d rather be harvested for any useful organs if I have any left healthy enough to save someone, then the rest of me thrown in some kind of corpse compost or bio reactor or something.
If you don’t have any useful organs, I imagine you can still be used as a cadaver for medical students.
There are composting options now I think.
I’d like my ashes to go into a firework and be spread out all over my local area. Go out with a bang!
Clean? I would have said burial was more environmentally friendly.
If they didn’t pump the bodies full of toxic chemicals and store them indefinitely in a piece of furniture, maybe.
Good points.
I will specify organs donated and Eco friendly coffin without embalming.
I’m leaning towards one of those fungus suits, hopefully with a mango tree planted atop.
You never see these meme quality ads with a € or £ price… its always $
That’s because America is Ferenginar.
Quark: I think I figured out why Humans don’t like Ferengi.
Sisko: Not now, Quark.
Quark: The way I see it, Humans used to be a lot like Ferengi: greedy, acquisitive, interested only in profit. We’re a constant reminder of a part of your past you’d like to forget.
Sisko: Quark, we don’t have time for this.
Quark: You’re overlooking something. Humans used to be a lot worse than the Ferengi: slavery, concentration camps, interstellar wars. We have nothing in our past that approaches that kind of barbarism. You see? We’re nothing like you… we’re better.
DS9, The Jem’Hadar (1994)
it’s* always $
I don’t care what happens to my corpse, because I’ll be dead then. Never understood, why people still care nowadays, religion I guess.
When I’m dead just throw me in the trash
Casket+ includes a lid! Only $59.99/hour (surge pricing if used between hours of 10pm and 8am)
Don’t you love your dead relatives? Or are you cheap?
Cremation. Tubes for ashes. Instructions to friends and family where to toss me and maybe plant a tree.
I want my remains spread at the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland.
Also, I don’t want to be cremated.
The final yeeeeeeet
Paying for it after you need it seems like a bad business plan tbh.
Sky burial. Just chop me up and feed me to the vultures
Sky burial. Throw me out of an airplane.
Sky burial. Throw me in a wood chipper.
We probably gonna wait till you’re dead but fine
Just take that $22 per month and invest it instead. You’d come out on top
Death will be a subscription
It is, Grave plots are temporary.
Better buy one now before they’re subscription only.
My grandpa handmade his coffin with some really nice walnut. Quilted the inside I believe. He’s still kicking, so it gets used as a prop at Halloween
Costco sells caskets. Seriously. Order one online on the cheap.
Best part? They have multiple (positive) reviews.
who is leaving those reviews? satisfied customers? Is internet access available to Costco customers after death?
You get to keep them before you die. I’m assuming people have em in their garage and lay in them to test them out.
It’s actually something good to invest in. My wife’s grandmother did it in like the 80s, and all the family had to do was pick out sandwiches for the wake.
My dad really wasnt much of a dad, when my grandmother died and he got left a little money we had a pretty frank conversation “I never expected you to leave me a cent, because I never expected you to have one. So do me a favor, prepay your funeral with some of this money then piss the rest up the wall for all I care. Just dont stick me with a bill when you go.”
Can you not just ‘leave it to his estate’? Are the next of kin legally responsible for that?
Well… I AM the next of kin. Its not like I hate the man, he was just a pretty shitty dad. He has friends and family who would want a funeral to attend. I can legally speaking say “Not my problem” and the government will give him a free cremation and return the ashes to me or my sister but thats it.
Me getting him to prepay it wasnt just a smart investment for me, it also meant that he couldnt kick the bucket at the worst possible time and put me in a position where I had to chose between looking after the best interests of my family and keeping the mortgage paid OR giving him a decent send off. Because honestly, in that spot he would lose.
Selfishly I do hope he doesnt manage to spend it all, but knowing its paid is just something I know I dont need to worry about.b
Ah fair enough. Yea I love my mom and she wants to be buried in her home country but life is for the living. I’m planning on cremating her and splitting the ashes among my siblings. Not gonna waste money on a service or anything, I know she wouldn’t want that at least. If my extended family wants a service they can pay for it themselves I won’t be attending.
Laughs in cremation
You can prepay for that too, especially if you plan on having a service.
