• tal@lemmy.today
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    5 months ago

    https://www.nola.com/news/crime_police/jawless-skull-and-guns-fished-from-bayou-st-john-new-orleans-police-report-says/article_2cb32d00-1d3a-11ef-a810-5b19684c4ab4.html

    Bayou Bougaloo crowds reveled and splashed in the waterway at the music festival a couple miles south as the fisherman dangled a magnet the size of a hockey puck from a red rope off the Bayou St. John bridge.

    He pulled a gun barrel from the bridge’s south side near its center, police said. He also retrieved a handgun on the bridge’s northeast side, near the water’s edge.

    Then came a 15-pound dumbbell, tied to a shirt or cloth, which was padlocked around a human skull, police said. That skull was “fully decomposed, lacking a jaw or the top row of teeth,” New Orleans police said.

    The NOPD did not immediately respond to questions regarding investigations of any decapitated crime victims.

    On the whole, New York sounds like a better place to be magnet fishing than New Orleans.

    • invertedspear@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      You call no one. You buy a safe of your own. You start buying your groceries in two transactions, one with your card like always, the other in cash. Every other time you fill your gas tank you use a little of the cash. Clothes are all cash till that safe is empty. Buy all your gifts from the farmer’s markets or other “street walk” events. Who cares if it’s more than you normally spend, the point is that officially, you bought no gifts. Cash anytime you go out to eat.

      Get what you can from Facebook marketplace or Craigslist, but never anything that would mean title or registration. Those all need to come with deductions from bank accounts you can point to. The point is that by “cutting” a bunch of explainable expenses, you can eventually save up for the big spend item and buy that officially.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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        5 months ago

        Or you just declare you found a bunch of money and pay taxes on it like a responsible citizen.

      • molten_iron@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        so what you mean is when i hit the grocery store i should buy half of the things with cash and the other half with card? wouldn’t that be more suspicious than just buying it all with cash this time and next time i use card and so on?

        • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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          5 months ago

          Thing is, it’s not that uncommon to do this, and it’s not like the cashier is going to report you as suspicious to the relevant tax authority. Sometimes people don’t have the full value for groceries in their bank account, or are right at the tip of their credit limit - but do have cash on hand to cover the rest.

          The point is to have a paper trail/transaction history of lesser value for the tax man. Two transactions in one visit is just as valid as two different visits using different payment methods.

          Comes down to whether you feel awkward doing the first one I guess (cashiers generally won’t think twice about it, aside from maybe mild annoyance). It is a classic “Things aren’t going great for me rn” move - but who cares, you know the truth.

          (Ignore all of this and pay your taxes, people)

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    So THIS is why reddit is so obsessed with what’s inside the safes people find…they were looking for this one.

  • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 months ago

    Uh uh, no way, not touching that cash, that is 1000% a mafia deal gone wrong and collecting on it is how you get disappeared

      • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        You’d definitely have to declare it to the IRS minimum. But yeah, a national news story? You’re just asking for someone to ‘find’ proof it’s theirs; if not inviting a mugging/robbery.

        • CraigeryTheKid@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          I’m sorry but if I magically find a box with $100K in it, the IRS is not on the list of people I tell.

          I’m pretty sure I never told them about the motherboard I bought back in 2002 off NewEgg and I didn’t pay sales tax on it.

          • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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            5 months ago

            Depending on your financial situation; an exta 100k suddenly appearing in your finances will turn some heads.

            Missed sales tax on a small purchase; not so much.