Summary

Following Donald Trump’s recent election victory, Google searches for “4B,” a South Korean feminist movement advocating a “no sex, no dating, no marriage, no children” stance, surged in the U.S.

The 4B movement, popular among young women on social media, promotes individual resistance against conservative politics and the erosion of reproductive rights.

The trend reflects a broader ideological divide between young men and women in the U.S., where women under 30 are significantly more liberal than men.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    12 days ago

    “Young men expect sex, but they also want us to not be able to have access to abortion,” Thomas told The Post. “They can’t have both. Young women don’t want to be intimate with men who don’t fight for women’s rights; it’s showing they don’t respect us.”

    Sounds reasonable and fair to me.

    • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      In over 50% of America’s land area Rapists get to pick the mother of their child.

      Flee red states.

      The only why they’ll learn is if the rational people leave. The whole fill strategy will never work because red states need you more than you need them.

      Flee red states!

      Project 2025 advocates for tracking of child barring age women and girls. They will turn you into brood sows the moment they get a chance and justify it as the moral good.

      Flee red states!

      Blue states aren’t perfect but we at least know what freedom is and don’t need a 2000 yeast old book to decide what we should do next.

      • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        Fleeing my state isn’t an option. Besides, my state didn’t used to be red. A lot of states flipped or at least went from purple to red. So it’s not even a guarantee if you uproot your entire family and life that you get to stay blue.

        I feel so demoralized when this comes up, as if it’s my own fault I’m living somewhere with terrible laws. I voted. I got other people to vote. I changed a few minds on abortion (not easy to do!). I don’t have the money or resources to start somewhere else, and we’re all about to have less money.

        • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Are you willing to risk your mother’s, sisters, and daughters bodily autonomy on a under performing political party?

          I’m not saying leaving will be easy. And I’m not saying it paradise and blue States. But I am saying red states don’t deserve you. Start making a plan at least because they won’t stop.

          • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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            9 days ago

            It’s my bodily autonomy. I’m a woman of child-bearing age. I even want to make a child sometime in the next four years. I’m risking my health. I can’t move. I will end up broke with zero resources in another state, with no job, and my husband will need to start his career from scratch if we move. We just can’t afford it. Plus wherever we move, we’ll be separated from both our families who are local here. And again, even if we move, wherever we start over could just be red in two election cycles anyway. Moving isn’t the answer.

            • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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              9 days ago

              One in five women in the United States experienced completed or attempted rape during their lifetime.

              The chances of having a miscarriage is 1 in 4 pregnancies.

              Multiply those statistics for every girl and women in your family.

              Add in the fact that red states have disproportionately more sexual violence than blue states.

              Are those odds you are willing to take?

              No one is say moving well be easy. But you can start saving, planning, and applying for positions in safer areas. (politically, economically, and socially.) You don’t have to just move your core family. Everyone that cares about women’s rights can move too. If migrant women with no job, no prospects, no money, and no path to citizenship to receive services can do it, so can you.

              Red states don’t deserve you. Every day you play the odds

      • protist@mander.xyz
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        12 days ago

        I don’t think anyone involved thinks she’s talking about every single young man. Well, except you, of course

        • njm1314@lemmy.world
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          12 days ago

          Now he’s just worried that they’re talking about him. Which they probably are considering his immediate defensive reaction.

          • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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            12 days ago

            Jesus Fucking Christ, do we literally have to have women say things like:

            “Young men – not all, just some, well in some areas most, but a lot of young men – expect…”

            This tiptoeing bullshit to not anger some fragile men is insane. I lived as a straight man for over 40 years and this new idea that men are somehow put upon whenever a woman brings up being objectified, or has an issues with interactions with /takes a breath some, but not all, just a large amount, enough to be traumatizing, particularly as it’s systemic to the patriarchy, men.

            This is ridiculous semantic bullshit in response to women feeling like objects and pushing back.

            We’re better than this, and I’m tired of watching us act absolutely horrible whenever women point out systemic, extremely frequent issues they have with men, and have to inch around it so as to not break our fragile egos.

            • luciferofastora@lemmy.zip
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              11 days ago

              I agree. It’s like the whole “Not all men” deal: nitpicking the details of the phrasing instead of tackling the root issue. You’re only fighting those symptoms that affect you directly, not the root cause.

              The day I have someone yelling in my face that I’m to blame for some other man’s rape is the day I’ll argue about that issue. Until then, let’s focus on the actual problem: In this case (some) young men being pieces of garbage.

            • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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              10 days ago

              Women need to say, “Well, not every man is a rapist, but every person who raped me was a man, amd when I tried to speak up, almost every man told me he needed more evidence, that was an extreme claim that could ruin that man’s life, and when I tried to call police, they were made also of men who also rape and commit domestic violence at high rates, and when I went to court the judge was a Trump appointeee… So I guess really no men are rapists because the system doesn’t allow us to label them. Or maybe that makes all of you dangerous.”

              • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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                10 days ago

                I teared up a bit reading your comment, I’m so sorry you all go through this, and continue to go through this.

                The worst part is a lot of the men saying this shit, even here in this thread, consider themselves ‘Leftist’. They know it’s the wealthy causing fighting amongst the poors to distract, and yet still these men fall for it. They think there’s some ‘women’s agenda’ coming for them and never once look back and think to themselves ‘wow, thank god they want equality and not revenge.’

            • shiftymccool@programming.dev
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              11 days ago

              Just the word “most” or “some” would avoid this whole conversation. Why does it have to come to this every time?

              • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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                11 days ago

                Why does it have to come to this every time?

                I don’t know, why do men require people to use extra words not to hurt their feelings?

                “Young men expect sex, but they also want us to not be able to have access to abortion,” Thomas told The Post. “They can’t have both. Young women don’t want to be intimate with men who don’t fight for women’s rights; it’s showing they don’t respect us.”

                See, they even included parts like that, and still people are here whining about it.

                • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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                  10 days ago

                  My feelings aren’t hurt by the presence of people who hate me.

                  But I will call a spade a spade. A person too lazy to add the word “some” to their statement does hate all men. Can’t be bothered with a syllable to honor them, and that’s hate.

              • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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                12 days ago

                Just the ones who conform to my incredibly contemptuous description of them (a majority of white women apparently).

                Going to need an attribution there, champ.

                • JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works
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                  12 days ago

                  What kind of attribution do I need? I’m only talking about the ones who fit the description. Seems to me like trump voters fit that description but hey, if I’m wrong no biggy. After all I am only talking about the ones that do. Can’t you just infer that?

      • GetOffMyLan@programming.dev
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        12 days ago

        It’s talking about people who support trump. But you can’t only target them as people will just hide their political views to get laid.

  • Ekybio@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    Understandable.

    But sweaering of ALL men is neither healthy nor realistic and the 4B movement is not really helping the issue. Plua the movement is extremely transphobic and essentialist. Its just TERFs doing a thing again…

    A more practical solution: Dont date MAGA and leave them if need be. Take the children from them as well. They deserve scorn for voting in a dictator, just because they cant get laid. And they deserve to be reminded on how parhetic they are for all of it every single das until they change.

    • lettruthout@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Agreed. I also can understand the feelings behind this, but it seems to ignore that quite a number of women voted for Trump.

      • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        Bingo. My wife won’t vote for a woman president because she, not me, thinks that they’re too emotional. I know a decent amount of women in the workplace that feel the same way. I voted for Kamala because Trump is a paranoid narcissist that is a thief, liar, and can’t be trusted and she was a darn sight better to keep the boat moving predictably forward.

    • BossDj@lemm.ee
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      12 days ago

      The problem is that some men will literally tell a woman anything they want to hear until they’re in bed. They will lie their ass off and avoid political discussion until after the proposal, then they’ll suggest maybe she could cook a little more

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    It’s always amazing how many men out themselves in these threads. Immediately angry and defensive. There’s no greater way to know that you’re exactly the kind of man these women are worried about than having that reaction.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      In this thread a few people left mild and fair criticism and immediately got accused of being conservative. Some I recognized as having specifically progressive ideas in other threads.

      I think there are fair criticisms of this for sure. Saying them out loud does not mean you have anything but the opinion you say. And now watch, I’ll be dog piled and accused of hating women or whatever.

      Which isn’t true at all, it just seems kind of weird to deny yourself the pleasure of sex because… I guess… you don’t trust yourself to find a man who isn’t a piece of shit? Either that or you somehow believe such a person doesn’t exist? The only other option is it’s about being spiteful in a way that won’t help anyone at all. Conservative men are already having trouble getting women and you aren’t going to turn them liberal by not having sex with anyone. For this to ever work you’d need a large percentage of women to participate, which obviously isn’t going to happen.

  • ShadowRam@fedia.io
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    12 days ago

    But the large swatch of incel’s that voted for Trump aren’t going to be affect by this.

  • Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de
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    12 days ago

    Guys always ask me how to meet women. I say, " It’s easy, be polite and learn how to communicate." None of them succeed.

    • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Not really… from personal experience, I couldn’t find a single woman to date or show interest until I was 25. I was and still am super nice and polite, apparently too much for most.

      I fully believe I am just ugly, and it is what it is. After being rejected for so long and never having the chance to have those experiences growing up, it did leave me in a bad place for a while.

      Good news is I did meet someone at 25 and we’re married now over 10 years and have 2 kids. This was also right before the rise of dating apps, which I wonder what impact they would have had if given the chance to use them.

      • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        Being too nice can definitely be a turn off for women, all though you’re never supposed to say it, if you put them on a pedestal it can lead them to think that they can do better. I know that sounds horrible to say, but it’s mostly true.

        A lot of women like “manly men”, in a world where gender roles are being broken down it’s another thing you’re not supposed to say, but it’s objectively true.

        Natural beauty is pot luck, although it’s true that “ugly” guys can do a lot to scrub up and become attractive in other ways. Statistically speaking, 80% of women want the top 20% of men, from that you can extrapolate that their are a lot of people in relationships that are settling. Another harsh truth, but that’s life.

        So in short, that’s what happens to most of us. Women chase the top 20% which most of us aren’t, then when they start getting worried about getting older and becoming a spinster, they settle. You’re probably a lot less ugly than you think and a lot more normal!

        • Nutteman@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Using statistics and generalizing about women wanting only “top” men is very manosphere of you. Incel forums ban you so you had to come stink up Lemmy with the steaming shit that comes from your mouth or something?

          • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            It’s factual. The source is Tinder, 80% of women are only swiping on the top 20% of men and I believe that extrapolates to real life, I also don’t think it’s surprising, I understand why anyone would want an attractive mate. Sorry that upsets you.

              • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                10 days ago

                Whatever the source, I don’t think it’s surprising that women are a lot more selective than men, it makes a huge amount of sense in evolutionary terms.

                And given that a small percentage of men are getting chased by the majority of women, it’s unsurprising that they’re used to getting screwed over, causing all men to get cast with the same aspersion.

      • Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de
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        11 days ago

        Communicate and talk are two different things. People talk to each other to get what they want. Communication means you have to listen and give a shit. So many guys talk for 1 reason, sex. Women want sex to but don’t want an asshole that treats them like shit afterwards. Some guys can’t get that and think women should be blessed in their presents.

        • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Oh I’m really good at the listening part.

          I don’t like the talking part. That’s the part I’m not good at. Or likely will ever be, which is ok. It’s scary.

  • venusaur@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    Women will continue to demand better for themselves and some men will continue to get more radicalized in retaliation until we start raising boys to be empathetic and not sexualizing them so they feel entitled to people’s bodies.

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      12 days ago

      Consent and boundaries need to be learned at an early age.
      Understanding the emotions of others, and not being at the center of every interaction.
      Understanding individual bodily autonomy, and extension of that to others.

      These all need to be passed on in early life, because they are foundational to ensuring better overall social interactions with the opposite sex, knowing the worth of oneself and others, and being respectful to everyone including oneself.

      • Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        I would be very interested in understanding how boys are treated differently now then when I was young (millennial here). Why are gen z men so upset?

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          12 days ago

          Many aren’t, which is part of the problem. There are still people who think beating children is acceptable punishment for change, despite evidence otherwise.

          Gentle parenting is one method I’ve seen that has promise.

          But when parents don’t actually try to learn how to parent, and don’t understand that they are raising an adult, generational bad behavior repeats itself with little growth.

          • Mac@mander.xyz
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            11 days ago

            Meh. I got beat plenty and I’m not a fascist incel.

            Edit: i I want to clarify that I’m not saying beatings are okay I’m saying that I don’t think that’s the sole reason for people being shitty.

    • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      You know what just dawned on me

      These guys essentially want sex dolls that can do chores. Sex dolls are way cheaper to take care of and they’ll learn to do chores themselves hiding it from everyone else lol

  • Earth Walker@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    It’s a person’s decision whether to have sex, get married or date someone. They don’t need to justify that to anyone. No one criticizes men for choosing celibacy or choosing to remain single. But women don’t have that priviledge, so they have to justify themselves and still they will recieve criticism and hate from men just for choosing to exercise their personal freedom and live their life according to their values.

    • BlueKey@fedia.io
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      No one criticizes men for choosing celibacy or choosing to remain single.

      conservative parents enter the chat

      • PunnyName@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        But incels are involuntarily celibate (per their reasoning), even if they don’t understand that they’re wrong.

  • BangCrash@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Typical media BS.

    Found a story about a very small movement somewhere in the world than are blowing it out of proportion and saying this is actually a thing.

    This is why Dems lost the election but the media thought they would win.

    Fucking click bait sex sells story.

  • Isthisreddit@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I call bullshit. Any politicaly aware liberal/progressive woman can sniff out a conservative dude 5 miles away. They ain’t fucking these kinda dudes unless they actually wanna be fucking them. I just don’t see it

    • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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      Yep, it also doesn’t consider the 46% of women that voted for Trump or the near 50 million women that couldn’t be bothered to vote at all.

      This is a minority movement that is probably not much more than ineffective virtue signalling.

      If you’re wife doesn’t want sex then that’s usually a big problem for the relationship and could even end it. How many guys are going in to the ballot box in four years time and voting differently because they decided to get a divorce? It could possibly even entrench their views.

      I’m probably going to get bored of saying this, but people that disagree with you need to be engaged not derided.

  • TORFdot0@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Good for them for asserting their autonomy but basically the end affect is the opening plot of Idiocracy

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      11 days ago

      I get your point, but I wouldn’t worry about what might happen in 20 years when what is currently happening is bad.

      • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        Yes, women should rape themselves by having sex with men they are furious with to avoid the ending of a random documentary

        • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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          10 days ago

          I think you misunderstood me. Assuming this is sarcasm, which I think is fair, I was also saying people shouldn’t oppose 4B because of Idiocracy.

      • noisefree@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        I get your point, but I wouldn’t worry about what might happen in 20 years when what is currently happening is bad.

        Ahh, the ol’ false bifurcation ostrich effect as a thought-terminating-looparoo.

        • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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          10 days ago

          I don’t think dismissing eugenics based arguments based on movie plots is a thought terminator lmao.

          • noisefree@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            Downvoting to save words in your reply - nice. Have another upvote.

            Your most recent reply actually conveys meaning/makes a specific versus broad point. To that point, I don’t necessarily think they were making a eugenics based argument (though I would agree with you in dismissing an argument based on that) since they didn’t explicitly state the reason for mentioning the movie was because they believe in some idea of politics being genetic versus simply being most effectively passed down via social means from one’s parents while living with them through adolescence. Call me crazy, but I think most of the folks posting here should be given the benefit of not assuming they’re talking about eugenics until they are explicitly promoting it versus something more widely accepted, such as the aforementioned idea that it’s highly likely that parents pass down their politics through social means to their children. I could, of course, be wrong and maybe they were intending to make a eugenics based argument, but they weren’t specific enough to divine that. All of that said, I should edit the phrasing in a sarcastic comment I made elsewhere about removing oneself from the gene pool being a bad strategy since I probably wasn’t clear enough to get across that I was using the very real right-wing perspective where they favor their “good genes” over others’ “genes” for added effect.

            Your initial (decidedly vague) comment, as quoted, presents a false choice as if the person you were replying to was worrying about a future problem that is totally disconnected from the current topic of discussion, but they’re not and I don’t think the person you were replying to gave any reason for one to infer that they were ignoring the current issue in favor of some future issue. If they were talking about disconnected topics/problems then what you were saying would make more sense (or if you had been more specific, like in your followup, that would help too). It’s as if the person noticed a ceiling was leaking and exclaimed to someone suggesting to just put a bucket under it “Ignoring a leak is exactly how my neighbor ended up needing to replace their roof, I don’t think the bucket plan is a good plan in the long term!” and you were there to reply “Don’t tell them to worry about the roof, they need to fix the leak!” It’s not wrong, it just doesn’t really say anything or lead to further thought beyond the loop and comes across as a “calm down!”

  • nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    12 days ago

    Ill believe it when I see it, half these women have the most conservative SO you’ve ever met and tells them they’re good people at the end of hard days. Also these particular women are transphobes, so fuck them.

    • Paddzr@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Women also voted for trump.

      But Transphobes? Really? That’s where you draw the line? This is EXACTLY how the right pushed women to fight for their “identity” and turn against trans.

      If you generise them like that and try to diminish what biological woman is, you bet your ass someone will use it to turn those would would be your ally against you.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    4B is doable! My wife and I haven’t had sex in 3 years and we sort of like each other.

    Just imagine not actually liking anyone at all, easy!

    For everything else, there’s pornhub.

        • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          For the planet! We should have National Pornstars. Additionally, National Pornstar Social Security to provide for our loved pornstars after they retire or if they sustain health issues regardless of their origin…like if they have a fall from a ladder vs herpes rash, all covered. They give us sexual gratification and bring stability to the world. The least we can do is to take good care of them and all their arousing features and bodyparts.

          • Chaotic Entropy@feddit.uk
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            10 days ago

            It’s fine, the president-elect is standing by to pay an out of court settlement to each and every porn star.

  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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    11 days ago

    Man here, I fully agree with this.

    I have been hoping for something to bring down the birthrate of the states that restrict abortion since the restrictions started.

    I had been hoping for mass migration of 50% or so of all women from the relevant states, but I see how that can be difficult.

    I truly hope that they are successful in gaining their rights back.