I may need to say something that is (seemingly) nice about someone, but I’d prefer it be very subtly backhanded or nearly believable hyperbole.



Edit: I realized that I was imagining something like how the Colbert Report was done where it’s easy to believe I’m agreeing when really I’m spoofing.

    • otp@sh.itjust.works
      13·
      12 days ago

      The best part is that it isn’t really an insult.

      Statistically speaking, any given person is most likely to be near the peak of the bell curve of a given thing.

      Someone being offended by it means that they think they’re above average, and you think they’re average. There’s nothing wrong with being average…most people are.

      • Nibodhika@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 days ago

        Which always reminds me of a saying: When you’re trying to comprehend human behavior you need to remember how dumb the average human is… Then remember that half of humans are dumber than that.

  • themadcodger@kbin.earth
    383·
    13 days ago

    Some I’ve collected over the years.

    • “At this point, you can only impress me.”
    • “My opinion of you can only go up from here”
    • “The bar was on the ground and you brought a shovel.”

    • “Would you think less of me if ____.” “I could never think less of you.”

      • Britta says “nobody respects me any less as a political activist, right?”

        Long pause…

        Jeff: “the level to which we respect you as a political activist has definitely not changed”

    • “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”
    • Unencumbered by the thought process.
    • “I’m guessing you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling.” - Malcolm Reynolds
    • “My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.” Malcolm Reynolds
    • “You’re the reason we have warning labels.”
    • “They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place.”
    • “It’s impossible to underestimate you.”

      • “Don’t underestimate me.” “I couldn’t possibly.”

    • “If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.”
    • “If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid.”
    • “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
    • “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” - Abraham Lincoln
    • “May I ask what’s on your mind, if you’ll forgive the overstatement?”
    • “You could hide your own Easter eggs.”
    • “I can explain it again, if you’d like, but I can’t understand for you.”
    • “He is a modest man with much to be modest about.”
    • “I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong”
    • “Your secret is safe with my indifference.”
  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
    25·
    13 days ago

    The series Ted Lasso is chock full of these, but my favorite was after Jade meets Rupert and he leaves, she says, “Well, he seems rich.”

    Like it almost sounds like a compliment, but only if you lack the self-awareness and empathy of someone who isn’t rich.

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
      5·
      13 days ago

      I had someone tell a coworker “you look better” when he was trying to give a compliment, and it came out so uncomplimentary we were all laughing when he left.

  • bizarroland@lemmy.worldEnglish
    16·
    13 days ago

    The only one I’ve ever pulled off on the spur of a moment unintentionally is when my asshole stepdad broke his foot and I ended up casually quipping to him, “you gotta work hard in order to get a leg up in the world”.

    • bizarroland@lemmy.worldEnglish
      8·
      13 days ago

      I also just remembered that I later told him he’s got to put his foot down on some issue his job was complaining about.

  • gramie@lemmy.ca
    161·
    12 days ago

    Well, not terribly subtle, but if you are fighting with your spouse and they complain that you never say anything nice about their family, you can respond with:

    “Well, I have to say that your in-laws are better than my in-laws”

  • Akasazh@feddit.nl
    13·
    12 days ago

    This works only in Dutch. I used to work in the service industry, where every now and then you’d have rude or ungrateful people.

    In Dutch, the formal way of saying ‘thank you’ is ‘Dank u’, but that’s very close in pronunciation to French ‘dans cul’, meaning ‘in the ass’.

    So with people I secretly loathed I would thank them with an ever so slight French twang.

    • hector@lemmy.today
      3·
      11 days ago

      In the Southern United States men will do this with Northern men passing through. Mumbling yes ma’am instead of yes man.

      Real cuntish if you ask me, I think they need a taste of their own medicine.