I’m going to a cabaret show tonight and I wanted to get in costume. I tried to make some fake cigarettes but now I’m worried I’ll these will make me look like a perverted vampire. What’s the consensus team?

  • Drusas@fedia.io
    1571·
    6 days ago

    I’m guessing you’ve never seen a used tampon because that is not what they look like.

    • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
      12·
      6 days ago

      Maybe if they think you shove tampons up your urethra… and are of poor eyesight.

  • toynbee@lemmy.world
    141·
    6 days ago

    There once was a vampire named Mabel
    Whose periods were really quite stable
    And every full moon
    She would get a spoon
    And drink herself under the table

  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    10·
    6 days ago

    I like that these candy sticks commonly used to be sold as candy cigarettes, only for people to be outraged and so the companies changed them to generic “sticks,” just for you to go and dip the tip in red (they used to do the same, add more yellow to your red) reinventing candy cigarettes.

    Ceci n’est pas une cigarette.

    Edit: Hey they still make them!

    • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      6 days ago

      Well. Damn. I’ve got two of those packs in my curio cabinet, thought they were modern remakes. Nope. They clearly say “candy”, “cigarette” isn’t on the package and there are no red tips.

      Think how hilariously awful it was that we kids used to “smoke” those things! Fuck it, eating one of my packs now.

  • Wren@lemmy.todayEnglish
    9·
    6 days ago

    You’re fine, used tampons look more like filleted slugs.

    To make them more like cigarettes you could use a bit of cocoa or food grade activated charcoal for ash, or just burn the ends with a lighter. Bright yellow or orange sprinkles could be embers. Wrap brown paper around the other end for the filter.

    To make them more like tampons, use them to skewer marshmallows, lightly roast over a flame until marshmallows melt together and turn yellowish with a few bubbles, then slather in cranberry sauce.

        • tamal3@lemmy.world
          2·
          5 days ago

          True, but slug innards are not the color of old brown blood either. Having stepped on a lot of slugs as a child… (too young to realize that they were critters, but old enough to be horrified by more info after the fact). Anyway, my feet weren’t red with the blood of slain enemies.

          My mom also used to cut them in half with a butter knife to feed frogs. Wow. I guess that was a weird childhood. Maybe my memory is faulty but I seem to remember them being kind of creamy and oozy all the way through.

          FTR, I am now Friend To Slugs. Also a vegetarian. These wars are all in my past.

          • Wren@lemmy.todayEnglish
            2·
            5 days ago

            I was trying to make a disgusting joke. I failed.

            But I have a visceral, dreamlike memory of dissecting a sea slug while high on codeine for my intense cramps (it did nothing,) where the image of gelly-like brown flesh and rusty, marbled organs was reinforced immediately after when using the washroom.

            Thank you for sharing your visceral memory, it raises a lot of questions. I’m happy you’ve embraced peace because slugs are neat.

            Fun facts:

            • A few mollusks do have haemoglobin, so their haemolymph(blood-stuff) is red. The reason most mollusk blood is green/gray/blue is because they have copper while we have iron.

            • Slugs are all creamy because they don’t have a circulatory system, they’re more of a bag of fluids with some organs sloshing around inside.

            • Banana slugs have the highest penis volume to body-volume ratio of any animal. When they mate, they generate flesh spears to stab into each other, which serve no apparent purpose. Whoever wins the mating (gets pregnant first) gets to eat their partner’s penis for nutrients, but it grows back.

  • Apeman42@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    6 days ago

    I mean if you’re worried about it you can buy a ceramic one-hitter that looks close enough to a cigarette at 20 feet from any head shop for like $5.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    4·
    6 days ago

    I am so confused.

    If you had not dipped these in … food coloring, for some reason…?

    … they, on their own, look fairly close to well rolled rollies.

    A rollie is when you are broke and addicted to cigs, so you buy rolling papers and loose tobacco, and just roll up your own little cig, no filter.

    … I… guess they kind of look like some kinds of onehitters I’ve seen? Early, silly e-cigs that were made to look like actual cigs?

    Either way, I have no idea how these could be confused with tampons, they’re waay too small.

    Also… cabaret? A vampire?

    What do these intrinsically even have to do with cigarettes, or smoking?

    … Are you stuffing them into like a 1920’s style stem type cigarette holder thing?

    Are you going as a suffragette? A debutante?

    • pedz@lemmy.ca
      9·
      6 days ago

      I had those when I was a kid a few decades ago and they had the tip coloured in red. They were designed to look like fake cigarette, but in candy form, for kids. However because of anti tobacco movements, they renamed them to “candy sticks” and removed the red tip.

      I think OP is trying to recreate the old ones.

      EDIT:

    • moody@lemmings.world
      2·
      6 days ago

      If you had not dipped these in … food coloring, for some reason…?

      You rub the end on the red packaging to make the tip red. At least that’s how we did it when I was a kid, long after they stopped calling them candy cigarettes, but we knew what they were.