Last night I had a hookup for the first time. I told the guy I wanted him to use a condom, which offended him because he was like, “Why do I need to use one if you already have an IUD? Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?” I told him I just don’t know him that well. Either way it was fine in the end, he put it on and it was a fine night. Now I’m thinking, was I being a pushover?
Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?
Who do you think would say such a thing?
- a partner that loves and respects you.
- an STD-riddled guy.
imma say Number 2 for 1000.
also side note.
Yeah, he put it on… but did he leave it on? was it one he tampered with? His reaction makes him 100% not trustworthy.
I teach Sex Ed. - most STIs are asymptomatic most of the time, especially for those assigned male at birth. HPV for example can lead to cervical cancer and dude would never know he had it. So, do with that what you will but by his response alone I’d assume he isn’t wearing them as often as he can get away with it and you can hope all his sexual partners get tested regularly or you can be safe and protect your safety over his comfort.
I think my advice is that you should choose your sexual partners more carefully.
Stop fucking assholes
Of course not. In fact its the norm. He’s fucking weird.
No, it’s absolutely not over the top. It’s your choice. And if you want to fuck only with a condom, there either is used a condom, or no fucking.
Condoms are only 85% effective for pregnancy, 70% for STIs.
Red flag, this guy is an asshole.
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It’s no where near over the top, that’s a very normal and good choice. Doesn’t matter what his feelings are, weather you had an IUD or even if it was some other reason. Use a condom, it’s there for a reason.
Is requiring the guy to use a condom even though you have an IUD being over the top?
No.
STDS are a pain in the ass (often literally). so be careful, ultimately both parties must be in agreement about the protection used.
FYI if a man bitches about using condoms he’s not someone you should be with
Open marriage here:
Any time a hookup says they don’t use condoms, it’s a huge red flag. Always ask a partner in a neutral way about condoms to force them to the binary answer.
Example: would you like to use condoms? Do you use condoms? Do you bareback?
If they don’t answer straight, or say they prefer not to use them, move on. It’s really not worth the hassle of even curable STDs (pregnancy fits here), especially if you’re not on Prep. I would never bareback with a stranger without at least using Prep.
“Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?”
Based on your willingness to rawdog strangers, yes.
“Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?”
If a guy doesn’t want to use a condom and insists he shouldn’t wear one you definitely know you need one. This is obviously a standard move for them so you need to make them wear one. Being fluid bonded is a big commitment and risk for both parties involved regardless of hormonal birth control.
If you are a man who wants to not wear a condom stop it. You need to ejaculate responsibility and not cause potential harm to the wonderful women who are letting you in. Please read Ejaculate Responsibly and see what dangers your semen can cause and use this power responsibility. And if you think it feels different just put the condom on earlier so it gets up to body temp before PIV. It’s not that hard guys
STDs asside, IUD’s are not 100% effective. I personally know someone who got pregnant with one and, let me tell you, it is not an experience you want to go through. Especially if you live in a no-abortion state.
The cool thing about contraceptives is that their efficiency is multiplicative. If an IUD is 98% (2 in 100 failure rate) effective and a condom is 80% (20 in 100), you now have a 99.6% (0.4 in 100) effective rate, or a 1 in 250 chance at getting pregnant in a year of regular sex. So, on average you get pregnant once every 125 years.
