Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it. These arguments can go on for days, even weeks, and if I don’t win the argument, I get overly fixated on it, wondering where I went wrong and so on.
But actually the big thing that helped me was sitting down and assessing why I wanted to correct this stuff. It never gave me any satisfaction, it never lead to anything I liked, and a good deal of it was likely venting trauma from being talked down to all my life. Once I put it together it just kind of stopped happening.
i usually engage briefly so that others can see there is pushback, because i know most people are lurkers and it is important to me that there are both sides represented. but i learned when they respond in bad faith i can just disengage and either block or move on. i listen to my body’s reactions and try to leave when i feel myself getting agitated. it works for me :)
I don’t argue with people who are wrong. I point out where they are wrong, and why, for the sake of passers-by who may need more complete information, because most people are lurkers, and most people tend to believe what’s typed on the internet without much further question.
You don’t argue with people you think are wrong.
You should stop treating arguments like a game. The point isn’t to win - it’s to find the truth. Every argument should start from the acknowledgement that you might be wrong, and if so, you wish to not be wrong for a minute longer than necessary. I can’t think of a single thing that better demonstrates intellectual honesty than someone actually changing their view when faced with a convincing argument.
However, not all arguments are worth continuing. When your opponent doesn’t even engage with what you’re saying, or when you’re not even open to the possibility that they might have a point, there’s no reason to keep going - there’s no end to it. So many online “arguments” are just people performing for an audience with no real regard for whether their points are landing or not. They’re after applause, not a change of mind.
I can’t think of a single thing that better demonstrates intellectual honesty than someone actually changing their view when faced with a convincing argument.
What if this argument is actually weak, and only appears strong because you have no counter-argument? Should you still change your mind? Does the fact that it is persuasive mean it is true?
Well, no - it doesn’t always mean they’re right. However, why would you hold on to your old view if someone makes an argument against it that you can’t counter? At the very least it should give you some pause and make you look more deeply into the reasons why you’re clinging to that view in the first place. Even if it doesn’t directly disprove your point, it should still show that maybe you don’t actually have the level of understanding on the subject that warrants the confidence you have in that particular view and perhaps you just want this to be the truth.
It’s okay to have an opinion on something or lean toward A being more likely true than B, while still acknowledging that it’s just your current view - not necessarily the absolute truth.
I mean, imagine not being able to respond to someone who defends the flat world. Even though I don’t know enough about this, I trust scientists, even if I can’t provide enough arguments that the earth is geoid at that moment, is this a good reason to question my view? We have a lot of beliefs in life that we don’t defend very well. If we want to justify all of them, I guess we won’t have time to live.
In a situation like this, you’d need to consider whether them being right on this particular point would actually shift your position.
A flat-earther might claim the moon landing never happened, show you a picture, and explain how it was actually taken in a studio. Okay - maybe you can’t prove them wrong. Maybe they even made a valid observation about that picture. What happens if you grant them this one point and acknowledge that yeah, they’re making a good point and maybe this particular picture is fake? Then what? Does that prove the moon landing never happened? No. Does it prove the earth is flat? No. At most it proves that one specific picture was fake. You still have a mountain of evidence supporting your belief that the earth is a sphere, not a disc, so it doesn’t shift your original view. Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence. Just because someone proves to you that jet fuel doesn’t melt steel beams doesn’t mean you have to grant them that 9/11 was an inside job. It’s not a logical contradiction to hold these two views at the same time.
I usually reply once. I don’t argue. I said what I said, bye.
This is the correct way. Reply -> turn off notifications -> forget about it -> live a happy life.
That’s not an argument.
Yes it is. That’ll be five pounds.
Yes it is.
you don’t have a problem with stopping the argument. you have a problem with the desire to always be right. you’re compensating for a lack of recognition in your skills and intelligence in real life.
accept that you will never get that recognition and you will stop needing to be right.
I know this, because I was this.
next time you see something that someone said is wrong, just high five them and move on.
I downvote and hide the thread. I used to argue with flerfs on Twitter years ago. Didn’t take long before I noticed they believe what they want. Trying to educate is a waste of my limited time.
Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.
It’s okay with me if people are wrong. I disagree with everyone on at least one thing, I find, if I talk to them for more than a few minutes.
You could try this–offer your correction, and then never look at the thread again. Disengage. You’ve done all you can do, let it go. Eventually, you WILL get to that point, so get there quickly and on your terms.
It’s okay if people are wrong, and a lot of people are.
If you really can’t control yourself, then you might benefit from therapy.
I’m not exactly great at it myself… but my dad used to tell me a story from his job.
There was a guy that made some claims, another desperately trying to correct him and tell him he’s wrong. To no avail, afterwards, he turned to another person that had a doctorate in the very topic they were arguing about. And said “why didn’t you say anything!? You know he is wrong!”
To which the doctor replied “yeah, but it’s not my problem that he’s an idiot”
Quite literally, you need to learn self-control, how to pick your fights, manage your emotions.
You really wanna let a bunch of random asshats on the internet live rent free in your head, dictate the emotional course of your day, your evening, your week?
This is where the ‘touch grass’ meme partially comes from.
Sometimes, you need to let go, walk away, pet a kitty, hug a dog, admire a tree… or more ideally, work on some hobby that you find fun and fulfilling, and is at least potentially ‘useful’ in some very broad kind of practical way.
Also, a lot of people are beyond wrong/misinformed; they’re actively committed to denying that they’re wrong, even after its been shown that they are wrong.
You can just block people who are unwilling to admit fault or learn.
Its doesn’t need to be your responsibility to personally deal with every dumb idiot asshole on the internet.
Bro dont argue on public social media especially fb. They’re idiots. I only stay there for marketplace and like 2 friends.
I wish i could voice my thoughts on fb but I’d get instantly labeled as a terrorist by the Drump regime for daring to go against dear leader and oligarchy.
On public social media they likely think I’m a right wing Drump voter 😄
Dude, whom do you call idiots? Facebook is still a normal platform. Don’t understand what that fuss is about. It still works as it was.
Mmmm bud its been co opted heavily by the alt right and Russian bots a decade ago, maybe more. Its a cesspool.
Zucc: “they just gave all their information to me. Dumbfucks”
Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.
That’s not necessarily arguing, unless you’re continuing to engage repeatedly. This is really where you stop, if you even choose to engage at all. Have your say, make it count, move along.
If you genuinely care about a subject/topic/opinion, that first reply counts for 99% of your reach/impact. The second time you reply, it counts for 0.99%, the third time you reply, it’s like 0.099% ROI and so on.
After that first one, the juice is not worth the squeeze and the young folks are saying these days.
If your social media outlets of favor are anything like Lemmy, most of the people you see with edgy content or making edgy comments, they aren’t serious people. They aren’t here for serious discussion or open minds, even if it is a serious topic.
It’s easy to say, I realize, but you have to learn to let it go. Literally nobody cares. Probably even the person you’re “arguing” with doesn’t care, other than it gives them sexual pleasure to get attention from a rando online.
Also, don’t fall into the fallacy that the one who speaks last wins. If the person you’re debating is just serving up leftovers from the overly salty stale dinner with no substance that they prepared last night, it’s okay to leave the table. You literally are winning, no matter what, by not eating that same slop that you already know is bad.
