I’m from Canada so everyone except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else. I love it when people ask my about my roots, but someone told me it was rude.
There’s sort of a racist undertone to that kind of question that can put people on guard. I think you just need to be cognizant of that when you frame a question.
The annoying version goes like this:
White person: Where are you from?
Brown person: Calgary
White person, squinting at their skin: Ok, but where are you from?
Brown person: Still Calgary.
White person: visibly frustrated
The annoying/racist part being that white people are assumed to originate from North America, but literally everyone else (including indigenous people, lol) are immigrants.
The basic question is fine and I’ve never seen someone upset about being asked. But if you go into more detailed questions, keep in mind they might mispercieve what you’re asking.
ROOTS, BLOODY ROOTS
🤘
A friend of mine gets asked that all the time, cause he’s brown-skinned with dark, curly hair in Germany. There’s the implication that although he’s a German citizen and was born and lived in Germany all his life, his “roots” are somewhere else, and therefore he isn’t a “real German”.
If you get asked that question constantly due to your looks, it gets annoying quickly, cause it implies the question whether you fully belong in this country, so keep that in mind.
“We are all African.” — Richard Dawkins
“You are a fungal organism.” - Paul Stamets
“We’re made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
Yeah, it’s stupid. I hate it when people ask me question like this. I am not from anywhere, I am from here.
Usually some drunk idiot I meet though insist that I need to tell them the origin country of my great great grandparents. I want to punch them.
I’ve encountered this, as if it’s somehow a problem to be disconnected from your ancestors’ country.
Guess what? I visited Scotland (where 2/4 of my grandparents are from) a few years back. Had a great time at my favourite whisky distillery. Zero strong feelings for the place otherwise though.
I don’t have ancestors. I barely know anything about my grand parents other than that they existed
As a man, I’ve learned to never say anything about a woman’s hair, beyond “Love it!”, or “Looks great!”
Fashionable hair is difficult to maintain and long hair changes daily depending on all sorts of conditions
It heavily depends on context. I love to chat about mine but I won’t if I sense that there’s a risk of discrimination. The amount of information I divulge depends heavily on how close we are. If you ask it out of the blue and you’re not someone I trust well, it comes off as rude.
Hello from Ontario
Fellow Ontarian. Go Raptors.
It is all in how you do it. I ask people about their family history all the time.
You mean strangers, or people you’re well acquainted with?
People i establish a rapport with and again situational.
On a bus or a train… no. In a setting where we are all their to socialize, yes.
Reasonable. I still view it as beyond my own boundaries.
As a Chinese American, I don’t find it offensive. I mean at this point I kinda just embraced my background, I mean I still have a Chinese name as my legal name and I still speak Cantonese and Mandarin (with very basic fluency tho)
Unless you say it like: “Oh, your English is very good! Where are you from?” and the person clearly has a native-accent 🙄 (don’t do it like this)
(hasn’t happened yet, usually people are either much more overt like using racial slurs, or just not display racism at all)
I think you should just ask something like: “What is your ancestral background?” more direct and IMO sounds a lot better. But I think the context is key, you need to feel the vibe in the room is good before you ask that, don’t just walk up to someone and ask that as the first question.
But I was born in China, so I am technically speaking not “from” here, but if you are in the US and ask an Asian person born and grew up in the US that question, they might not like it. You should probably frame it like: “Hey I’m just curious, what is your ancestral background?”
Absolutely, yes. If a person wants to dye their hair, it’s their prerogative. They also should be able to re-dye it or let it grow back to the natural color at the frequency of their choosing.
Asking about their roots puts pressure on them to dye it again. Why would you ask unless you’re saying they’re super noticeable?
🤣
It depends on the context. Some people might consider their family information to be private and not want to share that with random strangers.
After arriving to a new country and seeing different ppl (I.e. non-white) asked the question “Ok, but where are you really from?”, I realised asking about roots could be seen as rude by association.
I defaulted to asking, if the conversation heads that way, “Did you grow up around here?” As I see this question assumes you’re a local, and at the same time it’s broad enough for others to respond however they want.
I don’t know for sure, but I think so. And I’m a naturally curious person about these things, so I try to frame it in a way different from their looks, such as “That’s an interesting name… where’s it from?”.
Depends. If they are white and middle class probably not an issue. Otherwise it might not be received in the ‘get to know you way’ it is intended. I lived in Vancouver for 40 years but didn’t live there as a child. As the joke goes, no one is from there everyone just moves there at some time in their life. If you ask a white person about it, they will tell you where they came from or if they are one of the few born there. If you ask anyone else they will complain that you are racist. Don’t even try to ask about ancestry or language or accent because it is all considered racist. So ask about the weather instead and if they are friendly they will add more to the conversation and if they don’t, they probably don’t want to get to know other people anyway.
I’ve had that very same experience and on the coast. I’m an Ontarian and ask people all the time, where they live, where they’re from, what they do… It’s just conversation. When I went out west people, took offense and gave me shit for asking! I figured it’s because a lot of people in BC are searching for an identity because they don’t have a community or something. Or at least the traveler types I met fit that bill. I did learn pretty quick that if they were an ethnicity or sounded like they were from Ontario, you shouldn’t ask them where they grew up.
I have a job where I meet the general public, and I ask about peoples’ heritages all the time. I have never been accused of being racist or insensitive because I’m truly interested for the right reasons. I love to know where people are from, what it’s like there, their story of coming to America, etc.
I think moving your entire life to a new country with a different language and culture is about one of the bravest things a person can do. I genuinely want to hear about that, and people don’t mind sharing under those circumstances.
It’s when they get the side eye, along with, “So where are YOU from?” that gets the defenses up.
“Tell me of your bloodline.”
When I was younger I got a lot of “what are you?” Well asked that way yeah, I think it’s rude. Also, I really don’t know, usually say mostly southern European because that I know about, and England if you go back far enough but everyone has so many ancestors at that point, it doesn’t make sense really, I think you have to go pretty far back to get to any other country, I am from here.
