I’d respect these tech assholes more if they named their company “Matrix”, “Panem”, or “Big Brother”. At least then they’re not insulting anyone’s intelligence.
Honestly surprised there’s no “Evil Corp” yet.
“Skeletor LLC”
“Mordor Holdings Inc”
“Triffid Intl”
You’re right, too honest. We all get to suffer so these rich pricks can pretend to live out some hero fantasy.
Doofenschmirz Evil Incorporated 🎵
…I feel like I would invest in that one.
Soylent is a real company now, so theres at least one evil corpo doing this.
Waiting for the green flavor to drop.
There’s actually more than one “Redline Realty” in this country, surprisingly enough.
I mean palantir is pretty fucking close. While technically it’s neutral in-lore and only used for evil in the story. We see it as an evil object used by the bad guys and that’s the association it has.
Palantir is on point though: Using that distorted tool warps you to evil and self destruction…
That’s not right.
Real.
Where’s my Cobra Industries?
What about my Brotherhood of Nod?
Shoot, give me Neo-Contra, dammit.
At this rate, I may as well use these names me self and make them the good guys.
I don’t think it’s insulting. It’s a misdirection. They’d probably claim those “obvious names” are dumb.
Anduril keeps trying to recruit me. I don’t know how to send them a strong enough message that conveys just how hard they need to fuck off.
Consult US Army TM 31-210
oh those watchlists aren’t so bad, they just give you the extra attention every time you fly. or go to a courthouse. not just the federal ones, the state ones too. like, being on the “we know this guy and he’s cool” list at the local courthouse doesn’t help, when i showed up on the federal shitlist merely because i was disabled and had to fly every 8 weeks for treatment (and this one TSA dude at the airport at one destination was jealous as fuck of my facial hair. i know exactly who, he was an absolute shitass [he’s such a poopbutt. i bet he shits out his own ass]. this happened right after 9/11, very long story), i got my shit tossed every single day at the local state superior. they didn’t want to do it, i didn’t have much choice about carrying my shit, but anyways, there’s ways of dealing with being on the list, senpai👉👈
All my years of giving 89% are paying off. The only companies trying to recruit me are named unimaginative double entendres
Same here. You’d think with all that AI they should be able to get by without us.
Oh they hit me up a couple of weeks ago. So far no follow-ups, but we’ll see…
They sent me two a week for a month six months ago, and they’ll probably keep trying for another couple weeks this time around as well.
Shit, they did the same thing six months before that, too. It was only a few pings every year before then.
What the fuck. That’s some serious persistence.
Yeah, looks like they’ve been trying to contact me for over four years now. I probably should instruct them to go fuck themselves at this point, I guess.
Nah, let them keep coming. every once in a while you might need an ego boost, and the fact that this one place has been trying to hire you for [x] years might help.
usual unhinged undercaffeinated rant incoming
there’s a radiation oncology clinic in Florida that has been trying to hire me for, uh, maybe ten years now? keeps calling me doctor [me]. so the thing is i’m a musician. i’ve been radioactive and had to be kept away from the public and family and they made me pee and shit into a special bin so it wouldn’t enter the water supply, uh, twice now though. i’m not sure how that turns into “you, dear sir, madam, or gentlecrytipd (please pick the last one i love cryptids) are a radiation oncologist” but i’ll take it unless it impacts the prices ticketmaster makes me pay. good for the ego though
Well, you’ve convinced me, and that rant was the best thing I’ve read this morning.
Apply, never show up.
That would require having a conversation with these ghouls
No online application? Sad
Online applications go nowhere, you gotta talk directly with the recruiter.
how do poop pranks sound? the coffee hasn’t hit my brain yet obviously, that still sounds good. or i erred on the side of hippie with the speedball, because that still sounds funny over here.
How do I send poop thru email
Who said email
They’ve been emailing me
My favorite words in the language include disproportionate response
Doesn’t the Tolkien estate tell them to stop?
Can you even trademark a made-up name if you’re not the creator?
I think made up names are the easiest to trademark. No pre existing art by definition.
Except for Tolkien book.
see: Tolkein Estate v. WoTC
i’m sure that lawsuit exists over the word hobbit
Time to start some kind of resistance group called “Bombadil”.
who’s Adil?
My friend’s brother, but please leave him alone.
Start it brother (or sister), that’s the best name for a resistance in this climate.
Ah yes, the ‘does nothing because they’re not relevant’ resistance.
A lot of techbros like to have “alternative interpretations” on said works. They don’t see them as technology/power bad stories, but as issues of bad alignment.
“Yes the torment nexus didn’t work out in the classic scifi novel “Don’t build the torment nexus” but that was just because the people who built it where incompetent. Look, i am different, see I have billions of dollars I am definitely competent enough to make the torment nexus work.”
The other usually is “The Foundation in the classic sci-fi novel «Don’t Build The Torment Nexus» did not see the importance of a «humanity first» approach, and cut corners for profit”, then they immediately cut corners for profit.
To be fair that’s me and Jurassic Park. It’s not about man’s hubris, it’s about one cheap-ass motherfucker. Lions aren’t constantly escaping from zoos.
Spared no expense.
Time to found some local activist groups with names like “Old Toby” and “Bombadillo”.
bombadildo
edit wait. you want to start a sex shop
Porque no los dos?
Shout out to the local sex toy shop who runs the eviction relief fund here in Minneapolis, in response to the Gestapo rolling in. The sluts will save us!
Thinking Thunberg is the antichrist while overlooking the spray-tanned obvious.
I’d like to see them name something after something Nintendo owns just to see the suits that would entail.
Likewise there’s irony in SpaceX naming theirs after Culture ships. They should have stolen Weilan/Yutani ship IDs instead.
Wait till they name one of their evil companies/products second breakfast.
wait i wanted to name my evil restaurant Second Breakfast
it’s evil because all of our eggs are deviled
Erabor is a bank that funds war.
i’d respect one of these companies if they named themselves Frodork or something
Dildo Schwaggins
Leggo Milass
“Alas, that these dark days should be mine…”
—Theodén, King of Rohan
At least Carach Angren is using their borrowed name appropriately.
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