Ehhhhh. Victims? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean that they’re innocent. How many of those dudes who are pressured by society then villify and hate those who are gay? How many times have LGBTQ+ folk been hurt because someone was upset about the simple perception of being gay? Fuck sakes there’s a legal argument called Gay Panic that has absolutely worked where straight people freak that someone is gay and then attacks time because they were shocked or surprised. That’s just the violence. How many men say that they don’t wanna be seen as gay and then bully gay folks in that exact same sentence? They will then put down gay folks to make themselves seem more masculine and heterosexual.
Just because you’re a victim of societies bullshit doesn’t mean that you get a free pass to hate. More over, if you want that to stop then you have to be the one to help stop it. You don’t get to shrug and go along with it while saying “But I’m just a victimmmmm” if you’re not trying to stop it or help.
Oh I know. If that came off directed or angry at you then that was completely unintentional and you have my sincere apologies. Was talking about the idea in general.
If men don’t do XYZ because they’re afraid of being perceived as gay, shame the people who have created a society where being perceived as gay is something to be afraid of. The men here saying “I’d like to carry a reusable bag but am afraid of the consequences of people thinking I’m gay” are victims here.
First of all, I find the premise that other people would think that dubious at best, but let’s assume it’s true. What are the consequences of someone else thinking you’re gay? Are you the victim of thought-crime? This sounds more like self victimization.
Its called social stigma. Its been a thing ever since socialization has been a thing. Social pressures are a very real thing. Its not like men woke up one day and decided “you know what? I’m gonna be homophobic today, sounds like a real trip!”
Obviously personal choice is a factor, and a major one at that… but its far from the only one.
I find the premise that other people would think that dubious at best
Not relevant. What matters is that the men surveyed felt like they would be thought of that way.
What are the consequences of someone else thinking you’re gay?
That also isn’t a rebuttal to my argument. What matters is that these men feel like they’ll be thought of as gay and they feel like that’s a bad thing. These feelings don’t form in a vacuum. They’re taught and reinforced to people in society over generations.
Let’s suppose that the poll said, “8/10 of men are afraid of wearing slim jeans out of fear of being called gay.” Would it not be the obvious conclusion that they’re victims of the patriarchy^1. Neither of the two actions are exclusive to being gay in any way, but society teaches individuals to associate the two.
Patriarchy not being the worship of male over female but the masculine over the feminine. See why traditionally feminine-acting men achieve less success than masculine men, or masculine women over feminine women.
The joke is contingent on linking completely unrelated factors. If you don’t, the joke doesn’t make sense. Its based on accepting the premise that sexuality has literally anything to do with environmentalism or responsibility.
Sure, its a premise posited by those mired in toxic masculinity… but why accept that premise? That is the core of the joke, accepting a premise that is wholly false.
Not the person you’re replying to, but I made the original comment in this thread. I made another reply about how this meme’s conclusion is flawed, but its premise is too. And it (inadvertently, I don’t think OP had any malicious intentions) erases centuries of homophobia in the process.
The basic argument being made here hinges on the fact that the person in the top picture (Louis XIV, I belive but I was never good with monarchy) is wearing items associated today as being feminine and says that modern men have regressed in their sexual security for being too afraid to dress that way, but ignores the fact that those items didn’t have those connotations at the time. It isn’t like King Louis said “yeah I know these shoes make me look gay, but I’m going to wear them anyway.” It’s a false comparison between two tome period, attitudes, societies, etc. being made.
When I was a kid “that’s gay” and calling people “fags” was very very common. Even in The Office Micheal calls stuff “faggy”.
It was pretty heavily shamed and my dad was very worried my brothers or I might turn out gay if we played with our sister’s toys. I had an uncle say to be careful or we’d turn out with “limp wrists” and he did that stereotypical gay wrist gesture.
And does anyone else remember “metrosexual”? I got called that because I liked wearing nice clothes and putting product in my hair (growing up the expectation in the town I was from was that men tucked in their shirts and made themselves look nice, so that being borderline gay confused the heck out of me).
Nowadays I never ever hear that kind of language (except for online trolls), and that family is very much fine with LGBTQ people (except still fairly confused on the trans parts).
Progress has been slow buts better than I thought it would be as a kid — even the Pope preaches acceptance of gay people (though this gets him some hate).
Yeah as a trans woman I was beaten up for being feminine as a kid. Nothing like how it was for older generations, but I definitely remember it. I remember learning to fear femininity in any form including looking nice in a polished masculine way because it was seen as gay and queerness came with ostracism or at least some people being uncomfortable with you.
It’s easy to forget that that era was a thing, but jeez I remember so many jokes about how anyone who drove a Prius had to be gay, ironically from the same people who constantly whined about gas prices.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I was a straight kid and got pushed around for the mere accusations, I can’t imagine how it feels to be beaten up for who you actually are inside.
For what it’s worth, one of my best friends is trans and all my family mentioned above was very nice to her at my wedding, so at least in some circles people really have changed (my family was never hateful, just ignorant before). I wish I could say it was universal.
Yeah people don’t seem to remember just how accepted and extreme homophobia was. That fag word you mentioned? That was used at least once in nearly every episode of Will and Grace. A primetime sitcom. The vast majority of times it was said was also by a straight character, not by Will or Jack. Was also said in a derogatory tone or at least a shameful one. Was one of the reasons why W&G was loathed by a lot of the community. The gay characters were stereotypes that were used to laugh at but had no furthering of themselves. It’s also why the revival failed so miserably. After 20 years it was made abundantly clear that the gay characters were flat and 2D.
Basically the flagship show for gay guys in the early 2000s was made with a surprising amount of homophobia baked in. That’s how bad shit was. Even when we got what we asked for and when a lot of us were super stoked about it, we were happy about homophobia simply because it was still less than what was before. Things hve gotten a lot better but it’s still pretty bad. Constantly reminded that I’m different and lesser.
If hairy sweaty men were not so monumentally attractive then I’d shred my gay card without a moment’s hesitation.
I think I have to give some of those shows a pass, simply because as a small town straight kid Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy were the first gay people I ever saw.
I distinctly remember my brother put them on as a joke and then we all sat and watched them and learned gay people weren’t that different.
The problem with this viewpoint is that in this case, these people are both the victim AND the aggressor. It’s an entirely self-made problem for them, which is precisely what being mocked here.
Yes, blame the victims instead of the aggressors. This will surely solve the problem!
Wut
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Ehhhhh. Victims? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean that they’re innocent. How many of those dudes who are pressured by society then villify and hate those who are gay? How many times have LGBTQ+ folk been hurt because someone was upset about the simple perception of being gay? Fuck sakes there’s a legal argument called Gay Panic that has absolutely worked where straight people freak that someone is gay and then attacks time because they were shocked or surprised. That’s just the violence. How many men say that they don’t wanna be seen as gay and then bully gay folks in that exact same sentence? They will then put down gay folks to make themselves seem more masculine and heterosexual.
Just because you’re a victim of societies bullshit doesn’t mean that you get a free pass to hate. More over, if you want that to stop then you have to be the one to help stop it. You don’t get to shrug and go along with it while saying “But I’m just a victimmmmm” if you’re not trying to stop it or help.
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Oh I know. If that came off directed or angry at you then that was completely unintentional and you have my sincere apologies. Was talking about the idea in general.
Uh, even with the clarification, I’m still confused at what you’re trying to say. You seem very triggered by this, and I’m not sure why.
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I didn’t look at the username before replying. And I’m not triggered. Not sure where you got that from.
Hey man, what do mean?
If men don’t do XYZ because they’re afraid of being perceived as gay, shame the people who have created a society where being perceived as gay is something to be afraid of. The men here saying “I’d like to carry a reusable bag but am afraid of the consequences of people thinking I’m gay” are victims here.
First of all, I find the premise that other people would think that dubious at best, but let’s assume it’s true. What are the consequences of someone else thinking you’re gay? Are you the victim of thought-crime? This sounds more like self victimization.
Its called social stigma. Its been a thing ever since socialization has been a thing. Social pressures are a very real thing. Its not like men woke up one day and decided “you know what? I’m gonna be homophobic today, sounds like a real trip!”
Obviously personal choice is a factor, and a major one at that… but its far from the only one.
Lot of irrelevant content here.
Not relevant. What matters is that the men surveyed felt like they would be thought of that way.
That also isn’t a rebuttal to my argument. What matters is that these men feel like they’ll be thought of as gay and they feel like that’s a bad thing. These feelings don’t form in a vacuum. They’re taught and reinforced to people in society over generations.
Let’s suppose that the poll said, “8/10 of men are afraid of wearing slim jeans out of fear of being called gay.” Would it not be the obvious conclusion that they’re victims of the patriarchy^1. Neither of the two actions are exclusive to being gay in any way, but society teaches individuals to associate the two.
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The joke is contingent on linking completely unrelated factors. If you don’t, the joke doesn’t make sense. Its based on accepting the premise that sexuality has literally anything to do with environmentalism or responsibility.
Sure, its a premise posited by those mired in toxic masculinity… but why accept that premise? That is the core of the joke, accepting a premise that is wholly false.
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Not the person you’re replying to, but I made the original comment in this thread. I made another reply about how this meme’s conclusion is flawed, but its premise is too. And it (inadvertently, I don’t think OP had any malicious intentions) erases centuries of homophobia in the process.
The basic argument being made here hinges on the fact that the person in the top picture (Louis XIV, I belive but I was never good with monarchy) is wearing items associated today as being feminine and says that modern men have regressed in their sexual security for being too afraid to dress that way, but ignores the fact that those items didn’t have those connotations at the time. It isn’t like King Louis said “yeah I know these shoes make me look gay, but I’m going to wear them anyway.” It’s a false comparison between two tome period, attitudes, societies, etc. being made.
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I would argue they’re the victims and the ones making society that way at the same time.
When I was a kid “that’s gay” and calling people “fags” was very very common. Even in The Office Micheal calls stuff “faggy”.
It was pretty heavily shamed and my dad was very worried my brothers or I might turn out gay if we played with our sister’s toys. I had an uncle say to be careful or we’d turn out with “limp wrists” and he did that stereotypical gay wrist gesture.
And does anyone else remember “metrosexual”? I got called that because I liked wearing nice clothes and putting product in my hair (growing up the expectation in the town I was from was that men tucked in their shirts and made themselves look nice, so that being borderline gay confused the heck out of me).
Nowadays I never ever hear that kind of language (except for online trolls), and that family is very much fine with LGBTQ people (except still fairly confused on the trans parts).
Progress has been slow buts better than I thought it would be as a kid — even the Pope preaches acceptance of gay people (though this gets him some hate).
Yeah as a trans woman I was beaten up for being feminine as a kid. Nothing like how it was for older generations, but I definitely remember it. I remember learning to fear femininity in any form including looking nice in a polished masculine way because it was seen as gay and queerness came with ostracism or at least some people being uncomfortable with you.
It’s easy to forget that that era was a thing, but jeez I remember so many jokes about how anyone who drove a Prius had to be gay, ironically from the same people who constantly whined about gas prices.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I was a straight kid and got pushed around for the mere accusations, I can’t imagine how it feels to be beaten up for who you actually are inside.
For what it’s worth, one of my best friends is trans and all my family mentioned above was very nice to her at my wedding, so at least in some circles people really have changed (my family was never hateful, just ignorant before). I wish I could say it was universal.
Yeah people don’t seem to remember just how accepted and extreme homophobia was. That fag word you mentioned? That was used at least once in nearly every episode of Will and Grace. A primetime sitcom. The vast majority of times it was said was also by a straight character, not by Will or Jack. Was also said in a derogatory tone or at least a shameful one. Was one of the reasons why W&G was loathed by a lot of the community. The gay characters were stereotypes that were used to laugh at but had no furthering of themselves. It’s also why the revival failed so miserably. After 20 years it was made abundantly clear that the gay characters were flat and 2D.
Basically the flagship show for gay guys in the early 2000s was made with a surprising amount of homophobia baked in. That’s how bad shit was. Even when we got what we asked for and when a lot of us were super stoked about it, we were happy about homophobia simply because it was still less than what was before. Things hve gotten a lot better but it’s still pretty bad. Constantly reminded that I’m different and lesser.
If hairy sweaty men were not so monumentally attractive then I’d shred my gay card without a moment’s hesitation.
I think I have to give some of those shows a pass, simply because as a small town straight kid Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy were the first gay people I ever saw.
I distinctly remember my brother put them on as a joke and then we all sat and watched them and learned gay people weren’t that different.
The problem with this viewpoint is that in this case, these people are both the victim AND the aggressor. It’s an entirely self-made problem for them, which is precisely what being mocked here.