• Agent641@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      I used to wear a black kerchief around my left wrist when I was hiking, for wiping sweat and washing face, TIL I’m a strong SM top when I’m on the trails. Not quite sure what that means but I’m willing to learn.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        Well, we take the hankies out when someone catches a whiff of Lily Law or Jennifer Justice.

        But for real, both are really cool means of coded communication. Hankies are definitely less of a “Gay men” thing than a leather community thing, though that’s getting into niche enough subcultural divisions that it’s not the sort of thing most people care to learn and there’s really no point for them to. But yeah the hankies partly served the same role as polari, it’s a way to communicate illegal desires in a way that requires being taught the code. It’s actually quite similar to learning drug slang, except with a higher barrier to entry back in the day.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            29 days ago

            That’s fair, I love the language (or is it a cant?), especially considering it’s the only language I know to be descended from thieves cant. The use of language for such purposes is fascinating because it’s easy to see how many people have or had some version of something like it in our own lives, just slang we use so only people we want to understand us do, especially as teenagers.

  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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    30 days ago

    As a man, I have never been “proud” to be a man, I mostly feel ambivalent about it, it is who I am, I’d rather be proud about my actions than my gender.

    • StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      In case you get any odd responses, while many people use ambivalent to mean they don’t care, it actually means you have contradictory feelings, i e., you are both for and against something.

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
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        30 days ago

        Which is true, there are parts I like about being a man, and there are parts I dislike about being a man.

        In general I am comfortable

        • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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          29 days ago

          Which is true, there are parts I like about being a man, and there are parts I dislike about being a man.

          …and these days there is probably some specialized label to describe that that isn’t merely “man” because that would be too easy.

          • BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee
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            29 days ago

            It’s degrees. Some may really enjoy parts of their masculinity and other may be really uncomfortable with parts of their masculinity. Some may have so much apathy toward their masculinity that they prefer to avoid the label of man because, though that may most adequately describe them from the outside, they have no desire to apply that label to themselves. The concept and performance of gender is a hodgepodge of various qualities that are complicated, often contradictory, and dependent on tons of external factors.

            Those labels are there to assist people while they engage with the nuances of one of the most intrinsic and complex qualities of our subjective experiences in life. It’s messy, but it’s also beautiful that more people are inspecting their lives on such a fundamental level and practicing self determination.

            Man is a perfectly fine label for many, but others may not have the same opinion about the term despite sharing similar feelings to OP and many of the people in this thread; and there’s something uniquely human about that which is worth exploring

    • Realitaetsverlust@lemmy.zip
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      30 days ago

      This. I think it’s kinda ridiculous to be proud of something you haven’t done anything for. I’ll much rather be proud of the thing I did than about shit like where I’m born or as what I’m born.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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        30 days ago

        The only time I would say that doesn’t apply is when you’re part of a traditionally marginalized group. Black pride, or queer pride or indigenous pride all make sense to me. Because it’s a collective pride thing more than an individual pride thing.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          And in that case I think it’s best to think of the pride as coming from the action of resilience. When the term gay pride first appeared it was controversial but the argument was that society had been telling us to be ashamed for so long and we weren’t going to take it anymore and in fact we’ll be proud to be queer instead. And I maintain that if queer phobia had stopped before I grew up it would definitely be very emotionally different, because there’s also the pride of just being different from the norm. You can see that in stuff like in people who are proud to be a redhead or people who are proud of the area they come from but aren’t anymore (I’m planning to move out west and I’m already noticing myself get more Midwestern in anticipation).

    • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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      29 days ago

      No one should be proud of a demographic quality like race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. You should be proud of accomplishments .

      • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        Depends on your context of “proud”. Pride movements for instance aren’t nessisarily about being specifically proud of your gender / sexual orientation in the same way one is of your accomplishments. The movement co-opted the word to mean something subtly different. When some says “I am a proud gay man” for instance the statement does not imply “I think I am particularly special given this trait and am worthy of praise because of it” what is actually being implied is "I am not ashamed by this trait and will not be treated as if I should be. "

        The movement has it’s own language and “Pride” specifically was chosen as being the opposite of shame which was the affect people were expected to have by society. The people who created the idea did so out of participation in gay support groups at the time where the social norm was always that you had to perform a performative regret like being gay was a habit akin to a drug addiction. You were reinforced to adopt a narrative that you were unhappy and struggling - even when actually your partner and community might be a source of great joy. Gay Marches were shirt and tie events where one soberly asked for people to see you as a human that passes for straight, all the culture and actual proclivity tucked behind a neat mask where that undercurrent of shame was still at play.

        True Emancipation, according to the Pride movement, was fighting the narrative that there was anything shameful about being happy. They decked themselves in rainbows as an allusion to the joy they wanted to show the world, modeled Pride events on Independence day events and affected instead of performative shame performative pride. Something that would allow them to be unapologetic in their fight for actual rights to exist in the light of day as opposed to the former affect of shame that turned them into pitiful beggars asking for scraps of patchy tolerance to exist in the shadows as people who would treat their own way of being as a failure state.

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      29 days ago

      [Insert meme of cyclist putting a stick in their own spokes]

      These people need to be a victim fighting against an enemy, real or not. That’s why they’re so aggressively straight, white, and male…

    • recursive_recursion they/them@lemmy.ca
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      30 days ago

      “The lady doth protest too much”

      “The lady male doth protest too much”

      Edit:
      if people don’t like this comment in context to the post I’m willing to take it down

      • pivot_root@lemmy.world
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        30 days ago

        It might be easier for people to understand the context if you quoted more of the original image, like

        The “proud fuckin’ male” doth protest too much

        • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          Does that look like a “gentleman” to you? By familiarity of this particular sort who broadcasts his open distain for trans people on his shirt I warrant he is not a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.

          I think “male” is probably polite enough and better than he deserves.

          • ExcessShiv@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            29 days ago

            I don’t really care TBH, it’s (probably) a joke so it doesn’t have to be accurate to the real life circumstances and then it works better when people actually substitute the correct words IMO.

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    30 days ago

    Some people would have just cut their hair to give the societal cue about their gender, but I give this guy credit for making a special pronoun vest instead of conforming.

  • ftbd@feddit.org
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    30 days ago

    The biggest offense here is calling something without sleeves a jacket

  • MiDaBa@lemmy.ml
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    29 days ago

    What’s funny is “deal with it” is exactly the point. The unironic way he proudly announces his preferred identity is laughable.

    • Hawanja@lemmy.world
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      29 days ago

      Does anybody really give a shit, if he’s male? Like how does that change my life or affect anything or anybody anywhere? Seriously the egos of these freakin’ snowflakes.

    • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      30 days ago

      Hmmm, on the other hand, he’s a fragile man child with a gun, and historically that goes bad for people with my complexion.