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In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. […] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. […] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology.
- Slavoj Žižek
Damn an actual shit post.
Really expected something about the undertaker and throwing mankind or the like to pop up in this.
Kinda disappointed we didn’t get one
The first best time to post about the undertaker is in the first post, the second best time is when you yearn for it to exist.
As the shitter who wanted to inspect his shit, but from far away, climbed up 10 feet saying he wanted to avoid all smell, it was quickly exposed as a ruse as the undertaker rained fury down onto his fellow wrestler.
Ok that is actually Slavoj Žižek. I had to check.
It’s genuine.
From “The Plague of Fantasies (Wo Es War Series)”
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1219966-in-a-traditional-german-toilet-the-hole-into-which-shit
Maybe eat less fat so the poop will sink. It goes under water so it doesn’t stink. It doesn’t plop against the porcelain so nothing sticks
American toilet is best because in the typical poop there’s less stink, less mess, toilet doesn’t need to be cleaned …… except for those days where you dump a monster load
You sit on it reverse, and use the tank lid to hold your chocolate milk and comic books.
They call it deutschbombing.
That’s known as a Dutch toilet. It’s designed to allow you to inspect your movements for health concerns more easily than the standard toilet.
If you’re concerned with leaving evidence, just toss a couple pieces of tp on top of the water before you go so it’ll slide down easily when you flush.
Dutch toilet
Heh heh. The Dutch get prefixed on all the fun stuff don’t they?
I would have loved to have one of these a few years ago. I have a wilderness cottage and on the lake we’re on, it was affected by a family of beavers who cause beaver fever, Giardiasis. It’s a small lake so it was a problem and I got infected with it. Nothing serious or long lasting but when I went to the doctor, he asked for a series of stool samples to confirm diagnosis.
The dutch toilet would have been great for that. Instead I had to perform acrobatics and weird positions and use plastic wrap and cardboard and paper to try to make a clean collection … and there were a few accidents along the way.
I had to do a stool sample a couple years ago. One of the worst experiences of my life I’d rather just die
I’m dreading this. I need to do the mail in your shit prostate test in the next couple years if not now. I’ve got hemorrhoids so I am very scared of anything going up my ass. Got any tips from what you learned?
Can’t say I enjoy these conversations but I know what it means to have to do it.
If I had to do it again, I’d recommend doing your business in a large garbage bag that you place in a bucket or bowl (so that it doesn’t spill). The larger the garbage bag the better. Saving garbage bags doesn’t matter anyway because you won’t be doing this too often. Once everything is in the bag, then you can take out the bag and get in to more easily collect your sample. I know you only need a small bit but it is very hard to try to do stuff over a toilet bowl with plastic, containers or whatever and not contaminate things in the water, your hand or anything else. I tried four or five different ways and always made a mess. Better to just do it all in a garbage bag. Then once you are done, wrap up the whole bag, seal it and throw it in the dumpster outside your house.
Thanks, good tips.
You could have just put a small bucket in the toilet. And take it out before you have to pee.
For kindergarten it is used often in Belgium. Teachers can controle who did buisness. If a lot off worms are on there you see it and parents are informed. Some places not only parents of the one xith the worms but the entite klass by the usual ‘they are seen’ letter. Plx take care off your child.
Btw No bowing down needed or sniffing. Good lord who would do that…
btw this is far from common. only seen in a fraction of old homes
Basically, any house that had it’s bathrooms renovated in the last thirty years or so won’t have those any more
I’m a bit nostalgic for the good old Flachspüler.
… I’m getting old, aren’t I?
Grüße von einem alten Sack zum anderen.
Hey, mit fast Mitte 30 bin ich doch noch kein alter Sack!
Oder?
Oder…Wenn solche Kloschüsseln bei dir Nostalgie auslösen, bist du zumindest geistig alt.
Naja, Oppa hatte sowas halt bei sich im Haus.
Und bei Oppa war immer gut.
In the UK we call that the “continental shelf.”
I fucking knew it
This is clearly a woman’s toilet. Everyone knows women don’t poop.
That is an absolute positive because it makes you able to see if you are eating healthy/if your gut is healthy
Us Germans, we take pride in our workmanship.
I LOVE these because:
- No splash (aka Poseidons kiss)
- No chance of dangling genitalia to touch the bowl
Toilets are hygiene facilities and this is the most hygienic design IMO
No chance of dangling genitalia to touch the bowl
I’d say that depends on the degree of dangle
good point. A greatly diminished chance :D
good point.
More like a tip.
Not for ol’ taffy-scrote Pete.
shudders
Unless you make a high enough mountain it comes up and touches you. Ask me how I know l…. Or rather, don’t.
splash (aka Poseidons kiss)
Toilet paper beforehand.
Btw, swiss here (north of germany), never seen this type in the photo. Likely more in the north.
i can’t hot-swap replace the sheet of toilet paper between each turd, not to mention the waste of TP :P
I’m German and these toilets are much more common in the Netherlands in my experience.
There is a writer who has commented on toilet designs and cultures where the Germans like to study and understand the world thus have toilets like this. Where the French are more about getting rid of waste fast and efficiently much like their love for revolution. And the English are more of a diplomatic middle ground. Can’t remember his name and couldn’t find him from a quick search. I’m sure you can.
The downsides are the smell if you don’t flush quickly after and having to brush the smear off more often.
There was a German tip above that you throw down some toilet paper on the shelf to make things easier. Good to know if we ever encounter one of these.
it will be a trip to Nessus to clean this toilet after a big one
Easier to poop knife
Apologies for the link to the other side -
https://www.originalpoopknife.com/pages/the-story-of-the-poop-knife
