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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 1 day ago

Another productive meeting

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Another productive meeting

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 1 day ago
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  • Drunk & Root@sh.itjust.works
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    13 minutes ago

    all fun and games until thr back of the monitor falls off

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    34 minutes ago

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    38 minutes ago

    deleted by creator

  • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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    39 minutes ago

    deleted by creator

  • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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    16 hours ago

    thud oh sorry, brb… my mouse just slid off my table.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      15 hours ago

      You would probably want a wired mouse for this one… maybe it would work like a bungee?

      • nelly_man@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Or a trackball mouse that’s secured in place.

      • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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        14 hours ago

        I think someone should invent a magnetic mouse

  • sprite0@sh.itjust.works
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    20 hours ago

    the startup i worked for got bought by a mega corp. They taught us devs how to use some intranet forms to order things we needed like keyboards and mice. These items would get approved or rejected by the engineering manager and it was pretty straightforward.

    I put a request into the system for one of these (well one very similar, the Scorpion) thinking my boss would see the $50k request and jokingly refuse it.

    What i did not know was that any request over a certain dollar amount triggered a review, by sending the request to my bosses boss. And over ANOTHER amount it did it again. I got a talking to but it was worth it to imagine the face on some VP seeing a dev try to order a $50k chair

    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      I bet they were laughing too before pretending to be mad

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        yeah, i bet they were trying to think of ways to reject it for op but approve it for themselves

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    16 hours ago

    Good luck getting up to pee.

    • shoo@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      Plenty of places to hang a catheter

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        they make these things called condom catheters

  • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub
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    16 hours ago

    But the desk blocks me from accessing my penis???

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      16 hours ago

      There’s a peripheral for that.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      This is a poorly designed masturbatorium

      • yesoutwater@lemm.ee
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        15 hours ago

        Nap?! This is not the place for a nap

    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      15 hours ago

      You can’t see it so you probably wouldn’t be aware of its existence

  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Pro tip: Add a background image to your video conference for privacy.

    Most unsettling part here is toilet paper positioning (if not cat owner).

    • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      The toilet paper is loaded backwards

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        1 day ago

        Every time my ex would reload, she loaded it this way. Every time I found it this way, I would reverse it

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

        • Hawke@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          I’m pretty sure this was a contributing factor in my parents divorce.

    • just some guy@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      As a cat owner, you’ll never catch my rolls in this blasphemous position. Kitty’s getting misted if he confuses hanging TP as a toy

    • nexguy@lemmy.world
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      24 hours ago

      So it would look like you are chest deep in a toilet. It’s the way I prefer it anyway.

      • RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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        24 hours ago

        How do you poop? A chart showing exciting new pooping postures that break the current boundaries of the pooping experience.

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          none of these there’s not enough crying

        • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          ahaha I love how the only one getting shit everywhere is literally Drumpf. Accurate.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Cat owner… my stupid bois have found a way to empty the roll even when it’s placed like that. Nothing is safe.

    • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org
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      1 day ago

      if not cat owner

      Bend the cardboard roll on the inside so it becomes oval-shaped. That way it doesn’t keep unrolling if they pull on it

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      That would not stop a cat

    • rovingnothing29@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      The toilet paper is correctly installed

  • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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    16 hours ago

    For when you really need to post on Lemmy from the dentist’s chair.

  • gaterush@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    A bonus is you can invite your dental hygienist over and have your teeth cleaned while you work

  • CtrlAltDefeat@sh.itjust.works
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    23 hours ago

    Can get a dental cleaning during meetings, awesome

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Combining “company quarterly review” with “dental cleaning”, while time efficient, is a kind of sensory combo that’s right up there with “nuts and gum”. Sounds great until you think it through a bit.

      Edit: I’ve actually done the latter by accident. 1/10 - “I don’t know what I expected.”

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        22 hours ago

        “nuts and gum”

        together at last!

  • mvirts@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    chokes to death on coffee

    • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Dies by monitor to face

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
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        21 hours ago

        At least he died doing what he loved. Being in a Teams call about interdepartmental efficiencies.

  • throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works
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    15 hours ago

    When you wanna watch a movie, but too depressed to sit up, but also don’t like staring at mobile devices: ⬆️

    (Its too ridiculous for me personally, I’ll just watch my Christopher Nolan Movie on my phone 🙃)

  • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    21 hours ago

    Why isn’t this the standard?

    • bob_lemon@feddit.org
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      21 hours ago

      Because the mouse falls off the table the second you start typing.

      • MysteriousSophon21@lemmy.world
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        13 hours ago

        trackball mouse solves this probelm, been using one for years and it’s a game changer for weird setups like this lol

      • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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        15 hours ago

        This is why you have the mouse grafted to the employee’s hand for optimal efficiency

      • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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        21 hours ago

        Magnetic mouse?

        • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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          19 hours ago

          A trackball mouse attached to the desk is the obvious solution. Velcro would work.

      • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        17 hours ago

        Magnets, bro, how do they work? /s

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