Just bought box wine the other day cuz I knew I had to have a super uncomfortable conversation that could not be avoided and I needed to be anaesthetized for it
It worked and I know in retrospect I really needed it to be that way
Edit/Update: person I had convo with just texted me and apologized for combativeness and I mutually apologized for not dealing with it sooner and we’re along and on to solution mode. The system works, please dont drink if you dont have too but dont forbid yourself from using a tool to improve your situation and try to always be honest. The less you lie or hide, the less influence you will have to unnecessarily drink
Hey man, I downvoted but i wanted to tell you why. My family has multiple alcoholics. I’m not judging you at all, but i a wanted to encourage you to find other coping mechanism. Alcohol is very dangerous, especially when used that way. Be safe, bro.
I understand, more of an AUD dude and its welm-managed, especially since ive been low sugar
I downvoted you because I think you’re judging just a little. Not everyone is an addict.
I think they’re just pointing out that using alcohol as coping mechanism can easily cause alcoholism, and therefore this post is really dangerous advice for some people.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing. You can spot «danger for someone» just about anywhere you look.
Now the question was if you sometimes drink strategically. Drinking all the time or every day isn’t drinking strategically.
Try being human sometimes, and not trying to outdo each other being «perfect». Unless you’re 14 and trying to fit in…
You can abuse alcohol to negative effect without drinking every day. Binge drinking and drinking to dull your emotions are other forms of alcohol abuse beyond just the classic portrayal of a “drinks all day or he gets the shakes” alcoholic. Maybe OP is doing this very occasionally and it’s not a problem for them. But if you’re using alcohol to as a coping mechanism with any sort of frequency, it’s probably not a healthy situation.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing.
Thank you. But anecdotally, it seems there are few of us who think this. I still don’t understand why.
Lower karma posts are less likely to be seen?
Exactly my point. The virtual equivalent of taping someone’s mouth shut because you happen not to agree with what they say.
Freedom of speech as an absolute sounds virtuous until you hit the paradox of tolerance.
Then you do understand why people are downvoting because this is bad advice and others dont want people to see it.
well put.
I downvoted you because i think you’re projecting your judgmental mindset onto others.
Spoken like someone who hasn’t seen how easy it is to ruin a life with alcohol.
Like I said. Judging, and projecting your problems onto everyone else.
I like heroin personally.
Everyone high roading you here is probably on anti-anxiety meds lol
No, but I don’t drink strategically. If you need to have a hard conversation or do something difficult, you should probably have your whole brain in use.
Yes, millions of people for thousands of years have done something like this. It’s called liquid courage for a reason. I used to give myself exact small doses of alcohol to loosen up my introversion before social situations. If your job depends on it, it’s basically a performance enhancer.
Not promoting alcoholism here, despite what I’m sure lots of comments will say. Personally, I barely drink at all anymore because it’s gotten really hard on my body. Just giving a different viewpoint. There’s so much addict pearl-clutching in here. Plenty of people can and do use drugs and alcohol responsibly. If you “don’t need” them, great. If responsible doses help you live better, great.
Given the fact that they said they need the equivalent of FOUR bottles of wine to have an uncomfortable conversation, it’s a red flag.
You’re right, many people can consume things in moderation, but when you see warning signs like that, warning them isn’t a form of pearl clutching so much as “dude, be careful.”
I mean, did they say they consumed a whole box of boxed wine? Or just that they bought one? Could have also been on of those cartons that is the equivalent of about 2 glasses.
Generally speaking, when I’ve seen someone speak about a box of wine, it’s the 3L one, not the smaller ones.
Yeah, I’m aware of these. I was speaking of the big boxes, not the ones like this.
I just hope that OP doesn’t go down the same ruinous path that I did. Compared to where I was in my fifteen year journey with Alcohol Use Disorder, I was at about year four. Where I would drink in order to relax and be able to socialize with others.
An over reliance on a substance to ease a social situation (no matter the reason), is a potential crossroads that can lead further down the path of abusing said substance.
If they drank the whole damn thing that night, then agreed, that’s a red flag. OP didn’t say that though. Maybe they can clarify.
I think most people wouldn’t be able to have ANY conversation after four whole bottles of wine. I certainly wouldn’t.
I mean, you could call it strategic, or you could call it relying on substances as a crutch to manage your emotions.
I’m not saying that’s always bad, necessarily. There is the school of thought that it’s just a tool, like in your edit. But, it’s important to remember it can become a habit.
This is how you become an alcoholic.
AUD
A box of wine is a large amount. Do you drink in order to be able to socialize in all ways?
I bought and started on it, haven’t finished it haha
When did you buy it, and how long ago? I’m asking, because I’m seeing my old patterns for forcing social interaction.
I have regular like daily light hearted interaction with them, just had a couple old matters I had to settle and come clean about and it was fine just tense
Yes, that’s not necessarily bad in and of itself. But there’s a difference between having one or two glasses and consuming half a box. I’m just wondering where you’re at.
Better now that I got it out of the way. Omissions (like lies) compound like interest mentally
Lots of people warning you about alcoholism. Idk. I drink coffee strategically every day, and that’s a drug. But also yes, I sometimes drink alcohol strategically. If I know I’m going to hang out with my sister who I love but disagree with on many many things, i have a drink or two. I try to dull my brain just enough that I am too slow to get offended at every single thing (or just don’t care to, maybe?) in the end, we have a great time, I don’t get all debate-ey with her, and instead just appreciate the good things about her. We don’t see each other that often so I genuinely don’t see any danger from this coping mechanism.
A caffeine addiction and an alcohol addiction are two completely different beasts though.
Anxiety is necessary sometimes. It’s fine to be anxious and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. You are having trouble managing your anxiety seek a therapist. Alcohol will trick you into thinking it’s a solution. Be careful, this is very similar to how my alcoholism and my fathers started.
I strategically refrain from alcohol or other drug consumption. And my life has improved drastically ever since.
Whatever the reason that you feel you have to abuse drugs as a coping mechanism, it will only make things worse. You will not be able to process your emotions, you will not be able to think clear about what is your best way forward and you will not be able to grow stronger while drugged up.
The fact that you say you “needed to be anesthetized” for an uncomfortable conversation screams that you are either already having a drug abuse problem and that you have issues with your emotional regulation.
I am glad this is working for you, but not everyone has the same caustic relationship with recreational drugs that you do. Alcohol has been around since over 5000 years BC, but somehow you and a great deal of others have gone on this mini “prohibition” movement and have it all figured out. Good for you, but let’s not let this turn into a new movement where “I know better than you” becomes an excuse to tell others how to live their lives. Prohibition in the US started just like this.
Yes, I strategically drink every day
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a strategical drinker!
LOL, this reminds me of an old viral clip in the Netherlands, where a woman stated “my husband is not an alcoholic, just a standard drinker.” The husband then proceeded simming up his standard drink behaviour, which amounted to something like three beers and seven shots of jenever each day.
Yes, my strategy is I don’t drink and in turn I don’t get hangovers
Using alcohol as a method to resolve personal problems can be a very dark path. Please be careful.
I had the opposite situation several times. Conversations that involved fair quantities of alcohol derailed gradually, and afterwards I realized everyone’s attitude had shifted in a more aggressive direction, including my own. So this wouldn’t be a useful strategy for myself 😊.
fair enough
That’s a sign of unmanaged dependency.
