I’m queer and once had a date with a black woman from the States while living in Dublin, Ireland. She asked me if I could be her local tourist guide. Sure thing!
Walked her all across the shitty overpriced city centre. At some point she asked me:
“Am I the only black person around here?”
Eventually decided to ditch the CC and take a taxi to my local area.
Waltzed into my regular pub holding hands, cuddeling.
The entire place filled with white cis locals went dead silent like in a bad cliche movie.
“Harry, two pints of the black stuff, will ye?”
Peeps realised that at least I was a local and continued minding their own business.
Jeez…
Tribal mentality. A lot of people conform to the ‘Hate them… not you though, you’re one of ours’ mindset.
“Fucking hate poofs. Not Barry though, he grew up around here, he’s alright.”
“We should shoot all the [insert racist bollocks here]. Not Abdul who runs the corner shop though, he calls me ‘boss’ when I go in.”
Etc. If only their sense of tribe extended a bit further.
Funny but relevent:
No idea if you already know these places (you probably do) but The Cobblestone, Peader Brown’s, and McDowells are all great pubs that are perfectly happy serving a drink to anyone of any orientation.
Sorry for the bother if you already know.
Those places are lovely, of course I know then - I’m from there :D
Fair play to you
At most social events like disco, big parties etc, where the goal is wrecking your liver and dance to shitty music, while losing your hearing in the meantime.
Even with some friends, you cannot talk to them because everything is loud or stinks like shitty cigarettes. What’s the point?
Why would you ever go to parties with shitty music? The goal is to go to parties where the djs are good and playing music you like.
The parties with shitty music where everyone is getting shitfaced are for hooking up, that’s the primary goal for those and for the people that attend them. If that’s not your goal you’re obviously not gonna enjoy it.
If you want to go out to dance to good music, there’s also parties for that, where people might drink but no one is getting shitfaced. People might be getting high in other ways, but still, no one is getting shitfaced.
And idk, is it really crazy to understand why human beings, a species that evolved for millions of years to be the most social species outside of insects, would enjoy going to social events…?
You might just be ND, and that’s fine. But it’s really like 0 brain effort to try to understand this.
I literally answered the post question, i don’t know why you got so passionate about this. Read my other comment if you’re curious, i enjoy different social events…
Omg 🤓
This is the THE most terminally online dork response I’ve ever seen.
I mean, i prefer hiking and nature. I also enjoy live performance of groups i listen to, but numb disco with dumb music is an hard pass for me
That’s fine. I even somewhat agree with you. However, acting like you are above doing what millions of people enjoy is some real dork shit.
Every. Single. Time.
Spent my 20s in bars all over the place. I remember several times, sitting in a new place, thinking, “I’ve been here 100 times already.”
Now that I hardly go to bars, my wife and I like to hit a dive now and again. Apparently they don’t have shitty places quite like that in the Philippines. She gets so cute and happy, totally novel experience for her. And if they have karaoke? Game. On.
It sounds like your wife just likes to party! Cuz I can assure you Manilla is filled with shitty dive bars too haha. It’s just also filled with amazing people who love to love and love to party. Filipinas rock! You two must have so much fun
LOL, I assumed so! And she’s from Manila! Seems redneck dive bars are novel for some reason. And despite the bars we’ve hit being full-on poor rednecks, no one blinks at the Asian chick, everyone very nice.
We haven’t been for awhile. The one we like just can’t stay in business for long. Too far outside town, and we’re on the edge, but not far enough to be the only bar.
You’ve inspired me to take her out tomorrow night! We’re broke, but we can blow a bit on pool and beers.
yes!! Live!!
That feeling of all the bars being so similar was an early prelude to stopping going out all the time for me. I always thought it was weird that I never missed something I spent 5 - 7 days a week doing for over a decade. When the novelty wore off it was so easy to just never go back.
Now that I’m older, and laid off the bar scene for a decade+, it’s like coming home. Still, only fun a couple of times a year. And now I don’t smoke, and we can’t smoke inside, so I’m not coughing my lungs out the next morning.
I try to avoid going out at annoying times - e.g., rush hour, school zones, restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night. That helps a lot.
Never be scared to duck out early from something that is not fulfilling. I’ve left group gatherings to go hiking solo because it was more enjoyable.
Every time I’m in a mall or restaurant and see a flock of yelling and otherwise poorly behaved kids and their useless parents.
Every time someone nearly changes lanes into me, or slams their brakes, or whatever. I like operating a motor vehicle. I hate other drivers.
I mean posing the question like that is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, no?
On the other hand, as neurodivergent this hits everytime I leave the house.
Last Sunday. A friend asked me to go with him to town, normally I say no but I figured I would just because I usually don’t.
We went to town and went to a store. As we were about to leave, his truck wouldn’t start. (The starter was fried.) Ended up having to walk a mile and a half to his nephew’s place, then got a ride back to my friend’s truck, towed it to his brother’s shop, and after borrowing some tools I ended up pulling the starter off a car in the middle of a field, and installing it in his truck so we could finally head back home.
What was supposed to be an enjoyable hour or so ended up taking most of the afternoon and I ended up covered in oil and mud and sore as hell by the time I finally got back to my house.
An afternoon wrenching after a short adventure with my buddies sounds like a day well spent to me.
If it was planned out and some beer was involved it would have been a lot better IMO… I had already spent the entire morning mowing my buddy’s yard and trimming trees for him, so my batteries were already low before all that happened.
You seem like an amazing and reliable friend. I hope you’re not afraid of being an amazing and reliable friend to yourself too, sounds like you deserve it.
Not sure if I am but thank you, I always try to help anyone who needs it. My buddy is terrible at fixing things, so I’ve been doing a lot of work for him and his mom.
I tend to enjoy it once Im out, it’s just overcoming that inertia to go out that’s hard for me
Yes. And I don’t entirely understand why most other people don’t.
Being poor will do that.
Liking the destination or specific people you’re with really has to outweigh the crowds, the effort and the cost to be remotely worth it and that’s exceedingly rare.
Occasional game nights/potlucks with friends and family though can be nice.
people have been more gross since they lifted mask protocols, they dont cover thier mouths when they cough excessively, and they are spreading colds and covid around. cant challenge them, because of how politicla it has beocme they become hositle.
Never but I say “this is why I don’t party for 24+ hours”. A good party or event shouldn’t overstay its welcome as experience quickly declines once everyone tires out and start making mistakes and get into intoxicated/tired arguments.
