Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other’s company.

I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…

I won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now. Cousin also wore a trump shirt to the funeral. Trashy.

No. But also I don’t really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don’t need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.

No ill feelings, I’m just no less awkward with them than other normies.

Relationships are incredibly important for living a long and fulfilling life.

One of the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their life:

“I wish I had stayed in touch with the people who mattered.”

It also has a protective factor to your health too.

Now, does that mean that you have to force yourself to like those extended relatives? No, of course not. Just like any other people, you must make the assessment whether these people are on the whole a benefit or a deterrent to you.

But being a family member often grants you a quick on-ramp to foster those relationships.

We all often say it’s too hard, we’re too busy. And I’d argue that if you find value in it, then you’re going to do it with intention and make the time.

I have some contact with my siblings but pretty much only see most people once a year for holidays. I could do without the holidays, honestly.

The last line makes it sound a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.

nope. they pretty much didn’t give a shit about me until they learned I was somewhat successful and had kids, then they wanted to be involved in my family.

no birthday cards, no wedding invitations, nothing. then bam, once they all started to get old enough to start dying they wanted to reach out and be family again.

not just that they ruined a particularly fond memory I had as a child and I never forgave them for it.

fuck em. they’re just strangers to me by now anyway. I wish them the best in life but have no desire to include them in my life.

My parents moved away from both their extended families so I only met each side once at like family reunions.

So it’s me, twin, and mother out here in the area. I think mother keeps up with some of the 36 other cousins on her level of the family. I think twin vaguely knows what dad’s brother is up to (hiding in the woods)

We have an unholy amount of second cousins, twice removed cousins, but they’re all far away.

My mom has a scheduled video conference call with my siblings and I every few weeks, so we stay in pretty good contact that way. We also all get along pretty well. Family is spread out halfway across the States, so getting together in person is a bit tricky.

I see my sister who lives nearby every few months (generally when our parents come through), and one brother roughly once a year; other brother is farther away and harder to get together with.

Cousins, aunts, and uncles are rarer, even though they’re closer. Think the last time I saw any of them was at a funeral.

No. All are dyed in the wool trumpers these days and didn’t do jack shit for me in younger years in the midst of very hard times of family problems (eg, parental divorce).

I have my true family and loved ones, and would rather not complicate things. I’ve already spent hundreds of thousands of words mending one close relationship successfully; but that was one worth saving as taxing as it was.

As far as older people go you mention, the funny thing is I’ve always been more comfortable around people much older than me. Always felt distant from my peers, generally.

Yes. I have several cousins and an uncle in Germany. I admit we didn’t talk that frequently but we do talk on birthdays and holidays and we sometimes visit each other. In fact one of my cousins is coming to visit me next month. I fear for him. I hope CBP doesn’t give him a problem en route. I also share music ideas with another cousin.

I have a weekly D&D game with my favorite aunt and uncle, as well as my Dad and my cousin’s husband.

The latter runs one weekend, and I run the next, completely separate games of course.

I’m 51, my dad is 79, and his sister and her husband are a few years younger than he is. No idea on my fellow DM, I suspect late 40s.

If you find a common thread to hang on to, you can have a great relationship.

In this case, my aunt and uncle knew I was a huge weird nerd whose dad introduced him to D&D at 7 years old, so they thought to invite me when their daughter’s husband made a game for them.

Seven years later, we are still at it and I run a game for my friends as well.

These relationships can be nurtured, as all can. You just have to find and maintain the why’s.

Even people who don’t give a crap about birdwatching may still love to see the birds their old friends spot.

But to further your point, I don’t make much of an effort for those relatives that I don’t have much in common with.

This year’s Christmas present is a box of homemade fudge, rice krispie treats, and spicy chex mix, all homemade.

That’s the effort I put in for those I don’t have in my weekly or monthly life but are extended family.

No. I moved around a lot as a kid, and we’re all scattered around the country at this point.

Some, not all. And who I stay in touch with changes over time. I have many aunts, uncles, cousins and the next 2 generations so it isn’t possible to keep meaningfully in touch with everyone. We have a pretty good grapevine so information eventually filters through.

I attended a funeral this week and all I can say is I have some regrets, imperfect though they were

things are hard, it’s not always possible, amd people are complex, but it’s good to still try