Wow, your mom sucks. Get her out of your life.

Say something as equally callous and ridiculous but angled to harm them like “I think we should euthanize old people,” and then when they get upset say “that’s what you sound like, so shut the fuck up.”

Give her a tour of the most godawful nursing home to show her future when she no longer has “value.”

Seriously, I feel like the owners of those places would feed their clients to the woodchippers if they could get away with it.

Your mom’s view toward mental health is backwards and unhelpful. Her way of thinking prevents people from getting the counseling, medicine, and / or guidance they need for their mind. Next time she has a physical injury, she should just suck it up and stop being lazy.

I’m sorry you have to deal with that sort of toxicity in your family. There is no good rebuttal because it just seems like a lack of empathy, no one can make her care.

I’m sure that’s rough for you. Wishing you happy holidays despite this callus friction. 💜❤️♥️😘

What does value mean and how do we get value? It seems more like she’s saying that she doesn’t value some people, and that we should have the same values as her.

But she doesn’t get to determine value, the whole community collectively assigns value. We’ve all hade times in our life where we were less and more productive to give up on someone during a low point isn’t just laughably evil but also a bad investment.

It costs basically nothing to be nice to someone and that could turn around their depression (there’s tons of anecdotal examples of this).

Are there any people or things that are valuable to your mother solely because they bring joy? Are friendships purely transactional, are you supposed to win friendships and extract more joy than the other party? Dunno just feels like she hasn’t thought very deeply about this.

I’d tell them to shut the fuck up and not to speak that way about people in my presence.

My parents try to bait me into silly and shitty discussions like this, usually prompted by some conservative bullshit they saw on their preferred news program, and I just very simply say: “We can’t discuss this because it is going to make me hate you.” That’s been enough to put an end to it for me.

So the Nazi stance, basically.

Honestly, I’ll take that over people who say depresses/disabled people have rights, but also don’t want to actually provide any kind of means for them to exist. Both lack compassion but one is honest about it.

There isn’t a ton to say, as she likely does not want or is willing to be convinced otherwise. If you know that her view is untrue (which, it is. There are, quite literally, millions upon millions of people who live fulfilling, good lives with depression. There are also people who provide “value” to the community through employment or otherwise who do not necessarily deserve to live.), then you do not have to value it. It’s the same way you wouldn’t value a Flat Earther’s screeching about you being wrong about sphere Earth; they are beyond reason, and are not worth the energy needed to combat their views. It’s tough, because it is your mother, but motherhood does not mean you are wise or well-lived. The barrier for entry to parenthood is extremely low.

"OK, Boomer. "

You cannot logically rebut a bad worldview. Plant seeds of doubt, protect yourself, and move on.

Sounds a lot like “how you feel doesn’t matter, your right to exist depends on being useful to me.”

Which calls for acquiring leverage and using it to set boundaries, more than it calls for a rational rebuttal. Just gotta systematically remove the power such people have over you, and then they won’t be able to talk to you that way anymore.

It sounds like she doesn’t understand how the brain works differently and in a person with depression.

Unfortunately, she probably isn’t willing to learn. I know a lot of people with similar opinions feel like they know everything.

I’m sorry you have to go through that.

Value is a superficial, arbitrary concept. Their value view is different from other people’s. Zoom out far enough, and you can argue that nothing has value. Look around, and you can attribute value to many things, countless times.

So, value to whom and in whose eyes? They can’t find value to and for others.

Depression is not just an excuse for laziness.

I hope your parents are divorced and you can stay with your dad. If not, find someone else to stay with. Your mom is about as healthy as HIV.