I bought a safe. wtf do I need a safe for?
Safes aren’t just for theft prevention. Indeed the small ones probably don’t do anything in that regard ,but many are fireproof as well, so you can keep documents safe if your house burns down.
I’ve made way too many impulse purchases but off the top of my head I can’t think of one that’s “funny”.
When I went through a breakup two years ago, the first day I bought a $200 bong made out of titanium
You can literally drive over it with a pickup truck, it is amazing
3000 years in the future archeological digs will find it and believe it was used for some special ritual.
you should rub your dick all over it, as a joke. it’ll be hilarious in 3000 years dude.
8 inch googly eyes. Put them in the Christmas tree.
Test tube full of little googly eyes. When I’m feeling depressed I stick them to random stuff around the house.
Stick those suckers on everything, everywhere, all at once.
Girlfriend broke up with me so I proceeded to buy a $900 motor scooter (fast mo-ped). My best friend also wrecked it and bent the front wheel after owning it for approximately 30 minutes. It did not bring all the girls to the yard but it was fun!
My buddy had a manic episode and bought an above ground pool because our friends’ parents were out of town for a week when we were teenagers
A rubber egg. Sold at an odds-and-ends booth at a teaching fair, this egg looks like a real, brown-shelled chicken egg. More than once I’ve dropped this “egg” in front of people while cooking.
Also have one. I keep placing it among the réal eggs. it got boiled once . wife ans kids triéd to crack it a few times. Latest win was placing it in my daughter’s makeup kit. It looks a lot l’îke one of her spongy thingy.
I bought a hand made squirrel shaped water pitcher at a ren fest. It was like $200. Pretty sure it’s one of a kind and you won’t be able to Google what it looks like.
Better safe than sorry.
I see what you did there
I read the whole thing. It was interesting, but too long. I don’t reccomend doing that.
tldr ?
A very long setup to “joke”: “Better nate than lever”
Haven’t seen that in a long time
I read the whole thing. I regret this.
I went over to my old boss’s house one time and saw a car under a cover. He explained that it was a custom ultralight racer built off the chassis to a 1967 Lotus Europa. I was blown away and said that I hadn’t realized he was a car guy.
He laughed and said “I’m not. Don’t go on ebay drunk.”
The Lotus Europa is an awesome looking car!
I got drunk and bought a t-shirt on eBay.
It featured a rainbow unicorn with the text “HAIL SATAN”.
I don’t need to be drunk to really really want your t-shirt.
I got an entire cake decorating kit. Guess how many times I’ve made cake and icing after the first time.
Wait, you made one to start with? Cause we did the same thing.
Oh yeah. I made a 7 layer rainbow cake. I’m vegan, so I always get jealous in June that everyone else gets rainbow cake but never me.
Wait, are you saying you want there to be a vegan pride month, or are you just upset that the LGBT cakes have egg in the batter and buttercream frosting?
They didnt tell me there’d be cake if I picked gay…
well i picked gay and didn’t get a cake
the cake was a lie
You should demand cake.
I got an oil paint, brush, canvas, and easel set and used it once lmao
Go paint some shit, dude.
Tbf easel painting is hard.
Warhammer 40000. That is all.
I love worldbuilding and lore, even for franchises I’m not otherwise invested in. In 2018 I devoured every wiki article and YT video I could on 40K. I thought the AdMech was a really cool faction (still do, actually ⚙️💀) and looked into the models. Nope. I’m not paying that much for a sprew full of plastic that I’ll inevitably mess up.
Look at Mr. Moneybags over here, buying WH40K on impulse.
dildoes
Dildoes what Nintendon’t
Nintendoes if you’re brave enough
3 packages of 32 mini resin axolotls
That sure is a lotls.
It a lot of alotls
This was the final product when I figured out what to do with them :)
You misspelled liek
I bought a pound of googly eyes.
It filled a shoebox, I’ve gotten down to one freezer bag.
So many fun things you can do with those!
Oh yeah, I put them on tons of stuff.
Probably my favourite is I took magnets from some fancy boxes and put eyes on them. Now I have googly eye fridge magnets that get moved around my fridge.
In Derail Valley Simulator all my locos have googley eyes
Not from my own experience but something most of us witnessed was Musk‘s proposal to buy Twitter. It will never not be funny how drastically he overspent there, then tried to walk back from it but was ultimately ordered to buy it for his offer.
Some people with bad memory or a broken moral compass will claim he destroyed the platform or turned it into something evil but as we know that wasn‘t the case. Because it was already awful long before that. Remember the never ending headlines of „Trump tweeted“ between 2015 and 2021? Well now you do.
Xitter was always shit but at least more and more people are talking about it now. And that purchase was definitely the most batshit insane impulse buy I have ever witnessed.
I was on Twitter somewhere in 2009 I think, and I agree, it was shit then.
