Met with a girl for dinner after talking for a week or so on tinder. We pretty much agreed if the date went well we would go back to my place and fuck. We both were recently tested for STDs and she was on the stick in the arm BC. She was kinky and into a lot of the same things I was. Date went well so we spent the night together. She calls me a couple days later and tells me she’s sorry but she has/had gonorrhea. As well as that when told me she had been tested recently, she had, she just hadn’t gotten the results yet. The sex was unprotected and I was pissed. I told her it was clearly deceptive and I wasn’t interested in talking to her anymore. She was angry, urged me to reconsider and argued it’s not a big deal. I said regardless of the fact its a quick cure with antibiotics the initial deception completely soured me. She then went on a rant about how the sex wasn’t even that good because I wouldn’t punch her during. Tune quickly changed to I’m the bad guy/bad lay and she wants nothing to do with me. Blocked but not forgotten.
I don’t know dude. You had unprotected sex with a stranger from the Internet and got a treatable STI. That seems like a potential outcome going into it
I agree, do you think I should have kept talking to her though? I was more bothered by the fact she told me she was recently tested and was clean. Then finding out she was tested but the results weren’t in yet.
Really up to you. Likely not because of the honesty but up to you.
Assault. Does this question ever wind up with answers that don’t hit the bottom?
Despite the normal safety measures + an intentional lack of flirting when the vibes weren’t there, public space, no booze on first meeting, split the check so there are no “implications”, no physical contact. Dude didn’t like hearing no as I wanted to head to my car and leave. Fortunately, it was in public and he tried to keep it low-key but I had deep bruises on my arm for a while.
I guess that’s why people do virtual dates after marching. Idk I never got that far.
Worst thing you’ll experience is a man jorking it.
Sorry you got the aggressive and desperate weirdo
TW: Assault / Abuse
Dated for six weeks and when I tried to leave the relationship she physically restrained me (I was at her place), I didn’t want to hurt her so I spent the next hour or so talking my way out of it. Later that night she got drunk, came around to my place, yelled outside for a bit and then broke in. That’s the short version at least, my experiences were actually really positive after that though.
is it just me or are people getting chained up by romantic partners even more than they did in the past
I think it’s more acceptable to talk about it, particularly for men. I suspect the actual number has gone down, due to awareness, but can’t back that up with research.
She didn’t chain me up luckily just grabbed onto me and refused to let go.
Once had a man that myself and my partner matched with for a potential threesome. The guy was more interested in me than my partner, which almost immediately ruled out any possibility of hooking up with him, but we were giving him some time before deciding if it was a complete no-go.
One evening after we had been chatting for a few days, he mentioned to me he was pretty sure which apartment building I lived in and he was in the neighborhood. He wanted to stop by.
I never told him where I lived and had never had him over before.
Fucking hell, that made me immediately block him everywhere and be a bit more aware of where my keys were while walking home for a while.
Not a single experience but in general all the ghosting and effort that went into nothing. I texted with so many people, yet all of it felt like the same. After a few days 90% of them stopped replying, and the other 10%, well, either I didn’t want to text with them anymore (but then I told them that!) or something else came in between. I ended up meeting two people. One of them disappeared after two dates and the other, well, we both agreed that it won’t work between us. I just feel like there are very few people that are compatible with me on there. And then, my ex, who I am still not over heard that I’m on a dating Plattform and i heard that she knew. That was the end of it for me. I felt terrible for a day. But that’s half a year ago now, maybe I’ll try it again.
Worst? Probably the woman I broke up with who came to my house scream and banging on the door until I called the cops and she ran away. I broke up with her because after we had started having sex she became physically abusive, like straight up punched me in the face one night.
Sadly she is not the only lady I have met who is violent and abusive, but at least the others didn’t require me calling the cops to get rid of them.
I also commonly meet women who demand I give them money or gifts, which I don’t understand. Like $1000s of dollars, it’s very weird.
What’s to understand? They probably do get money sometimes.
It’s really easy to feed into the rage bait here. So I’ll try to be brief.
There’s an app called Hinge, and their whole premise was women are required to message first. The root issue they were trying to solve was that on dating apps, men were 90% of the ones who started a convo, and women would get bombarded with hundreds of messages. So this was to flip the script.
Well, it turns out a vast majority of women (and honestly, men too.) really suck at openers.
So you had a bunch of women going, “Hey” as their opening line to flirt with a potential match. And then we were back at the same problem.
I believe the app you’re referring to is Bumble. Hinge is nice because you can send a message to a potential match that they can see before they swipe on you. It’s how I met my wife!
You’re right! I got my many many many many dating app names confused!
there are like three . hinge bumble and tinder.
that’s it. there are no other culturally relevant ones.
I’d argue Grindr is up there in cultural relevance
the straights are the sad desperate type who can’t pair up anymore.
the gays are doing just fine.
You’re forgetting Plenty of Fish, Badoo, and Match.com, where all the rejects, toxic people, single parents of four children, and other various degenerates and undesirables go after striking out with everyone on the big three.
Often overlooked, but very relevant.
There’s also the various niche sites like Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, and Farmers Only.
none of those have been relevant for well over a decade .
like, yeah in 2012 they were a thing. just like match.com and okcupid were in the 2000s. the userbases all collapsed once smart phone and social media became dominant.
most folks have moved on from that ancient stuff. even tinder is basically a relic these days.
The dreaded ‘Hey’. ‘Hey’ should be illegal
women love to complain about guys messages, and then on hinge they’ll do shit like “like” a picture of yours as an opening. 🙄 Gee thanks, I guess I’ll just write the first message then.
Also, whenever a woman gives a single word answer, with no elaboration, I always right back “k” and end it. If you don’t know how to hold a conversation, you’re a waste of time.
In hindsight it was kinda funny. She was a bitch who‘s life revolved around acting like she’s upperclass. She was a saleswoman at a Mercedes dealership and got to drive one herself. The place I chose was not nice enough for her, which she constantly complained about and she laughed at me for taking the train and not owning a car at the time (this is Germany btw). When we left the restaurant and said goodbye, she asked me if I could help her build a website for free. I was like „Ummm no?“ and she just said „Typical men“.
I’ve been on this date dozens of times. Had many women ask me if I’m poor and become totally disgusted with me when is said I used to be.
Probably the recommendation / good match / whatever the term was, who I decided to contact with a message that wasn’t a plain “hi”, y’know, actually put some effort in.
Straight up blocked. You’d think I’d gone d**k-pic level nuclear, but my main crime, that I can figure, is that I waffled on too long and came off as crazy. I would have been satisfied with a “No thanks.”
I’d been ignored / not responded to plenty of times, but that was the first and only time I’d been blocked, so it was an unexpected bruising of the ego, I guess.
The being blocked wasn’t the whole of it though. The site kept recommending that person to me over and over afterwards, rubbing salt in the wound. I think I eventually contacted support to tell them that maybe block lists should matter when recommendations are being made.
Now it turns out that I’m not entirely sane, so she dodged a bullet I guess. ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
I went on a first date with a woman and she was making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever experienced. It was like she was trying to drill into my soul with her stare. I had to keep breaking it to look away because it was just too much. After about an hour of kinda of awkward conversation because of the staring she asks if I’m autistic… I said no, not that I’m aware of and left to go to the bathroom. When I returned she asked if this was the end of the date and that there probably wouldn’t be another right? I was quite upset at the time and called my best female friend to gripe about it. She laughed and said she had almost the exact l same thing happen to her a few days earlier.
Then there was “secret mom” who we went of a few dates and then she came over one night. She waits until we are both naked and have been fooling around, which is just about the worst time to say oh by the way I have a kid. Boner gone and I didn’t know what to say but I guess she didn’t like my facial reaction and left crying. I felt bad the next day and called to apologize but say it was best if we didn’t see each other. She kept pursuing me over the next few weeks and we ended up sleeping together. After wards she got pelvic inflammatory disease and accused me of having an STD and giving it to her. I was sure I was clean but agreed to get tested results came back good and hers did too. When I looked up PID it said it most likely caused by another STD but like 25% of the time just intercourse can cause it. After both tests came back clean she still kept after me but I was 100% done. Not with being asked to get tested but the way she came at me about it.
Really poor quality of shit here, but its still the only and worst.
Once had a bot message me. First bot I’d encountered since MSN messenger about 5 years prior so I fell for it, wasnt primed for it and I was very very drunk at the time. Wasted about 3 hours talking with it, responding to what turned out the next morning to be very obvious non-sequitors. Explaining to “her” that coming to meet “her” that meeting up now, at 2am, was a bad idea etc etc.
2 or 3 hours later and it explained to me that I could visit the website and it needed a credit card but only to verify that im 18.
I was crushed.
Got a blister on three fingers from all the swiping.
This was simultaneously the best experience.
Sound like I got lucky by being unlucky compared to some of the other commenters.
My best dating app experience was my first app date, which was with the person I’ve very happily been with for ten years now.
My worst dating app experience was my second app date, which was just meh and boring and showed me they wouldn’t all be as awesome as the first one, and I went back to dating the first one.
I once met someone who was at least 10kg heavier, 5yrs older and much weirder than the pictures led me to believe. She also insisted I (and everyone she took strolls with) stay on her right side, all the time.
Antoher time, a women became physically “playful” often. I brushed it off, until one time she it did while holding a knife in her hand. I told her to stop that, or I would ditch her asap. Sometime afterwards, we laid on a couch and she wedged herself between the couch and me, pushing me off. I wanted to break my fall, effectively spinning and bruising my latissimus really badly. Told her to fuck off after that, she didn’t realize that I was in fact very serious and she didn’t see how her behaviour could be an issue.
Another one thought it was a great idea to scratch me so heavily on the side of my neck that I developed a slight infection, which turned into a light ‘scar’ before fading. She - too - didn’t see the problem.
I went on a first date with a woman and she was making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever experienced. It was like she was trying to drill into my soul with her stare. I had to keep breaking it to look away because it was just too much. After about an hour of kinda of awkward conversation because of the staring she asks if I’m autistic… I said no, not that I’m aware of and left to go to the bathroom. When I returned she asked if this was the end of the date and that there probably wouldn’t be another right? I was quite upset at the time and called my best female friend at the time to gripe about it and she had almost the same thing happen to her a few days earlier.
As to the walking on the right thing I make people do that too but its because I’m deaf in my left ear. Maybe it was a similar situation for her? I usually tell people why I’m doing it though because I’ve gotten enough funny looks about it over the years.
No, it’s because it’s considered chivalrous for the man to put himself between the street and his woman to protect her.
It’s 19th century crap that dummies still think is relevant, and there are many of them out there.
I’m not firm on the details of the situation anymore, but I categorized it under “pretty weird quirk”, so I am almost certain there were no tangible reasons and she presented it as a “standalone” need/thing.
I’m sorry you have to explain yourself sometimes though :(
Did they not understand the concept of pain?
Maybe they think being on edge all the time is normal.
Sorry people have poor communication skills and don’t register words or even visible human emotions.
Probably someone who is into kinky stuff, but very much in the closet. I know because I kind of was the same. I hope for her and her future lovers that she realises and reads the right stuff and is able to live out her fantasy in a healthy way with someone who is into that, too.
It’s between going out with a heroin drug dealer or heroin drug user. Most depressing things ever.
Made me think of divorce lawyer with several lambos and a trophy wife. He don’t sell heroin but he will help end your marriage all the same.
Also it would be funny that he would know how to have a healthy relationship
