what the fuck
this is on the offical website
it can’t get any more threatening than this
Don’t worry, they made sure it’s killable!inverse airbag safety
How much XP will I get?
I’m pretty sure they know exactly what they’re doing.
WHY DID THEY GIVE IT COLOSSUS EYES
Looks like something from the SCP wiki
VIbes of the 7 foot tall 7/11 stocking robot.
Oh boy! I get two new nightmare demons today!
Yay I can hardly wait for hordes of these things owned by governments and corporations to be armed and active around the globe!
Why does it need four legs??? Why centaur??? Can we not???
Two-legged walk cycles are very complicated and unstable.
Wheels work great for indoor spaces, roads, tracks etc.
Well, this isn’t limited to indoor spaces, then.
Because it needs to be able to run after you no matter the terrain.
It’s meant for forestry work (good luck dodging an unexpectedly falling tree fast enough if the chainsaw hands get stuck or a branch pierces the pneumatics: bye bye expensive robot). Yes, it’s so scary I just casually mentioned CHAINSAW HANDS.
You didn’t ask, but the horns are so it can’t fit through the door (and kill you)
Actually, according to the website the horns are cameras providing a wider view so it is more capable of doing its job. Very functionally necessary. 😁
It doesn’t know how to duck?
Of course it doesn’t know how to duck. It’s a centaur, not a duck.
It clearly doesn’t understand how to open a door, so it’s all good (right now).
Threehalves? So… Manbearpig?
Al Gore: “I told you guys! I said I was Super Cereal.”
The window to defeat the unholy alliance of fascists, technofeudalists and plutocrats in the USA is rapidly closing. After they can field such robots in mass, it’s going to be over. Forever.
OK WORLD let’s just get out in front of this, Dungeon Crawler Carl is a series of fantasy books, NOT a treatise on how to run society in the future…
Something something Torment Nexus
Reminds me of back in the day when I worked in various data centers that had Man-traps for controlling access. I could see them being upgraded to release one of these on you if you failed to properly authenticate when inside one.
Like, once you get over the terror of the very real concern that this could be used against you to injure you, it’s actually pretty cool.
I mean, imagine if you owned it, you could ride it to work, and it could use its arms to carry weapons to attack other bad centaur riders on your way into the office.
Road rage incidents become jousting matches
Oh good, you can put chainsaws in the wrist holes
Okay, so… Aside from the creepy terrifying robot thing, what’s happening in this picture? Is that a door with a full plate glass window… in a wall between two hallways? Is the bot just standing in a large empty room staring through a door without opening it?
It’s to show that it can’t fit through a standard door quickly.
https://www.satyress.com/#safety
Threehalves will be substantially slowed if attempting to navigate a standard American 32"x80" door, and cannot turn around in a 42" wide hallway or enter a door orthogonal to the hallway. Larger horns can be fit to prevent any passage through pedestrian doors.
It’s hard to tell if the whole thing is a joke or not. How should much focus should be put on the name satyress
They say that they’ve made it look scary so that people will not underestimate how dangerous a robot with extreme strength could be to humans around it. Which actually sort of makes sense. It’s designed to look like a warning basically to reduce the chance of it accidentally injuring someone while working.
If they will come in sex robot flavor, where will they put the robocoochie?
Someone should quickly hand Miss Peregrine her crossbow.
Sweep those spindly legs, and laugh as it tries to rise.
