• fubo@lemmy.world
    37·
    2 years ago

    “My psychiatrist prefers to say that I have a ‘substance use disorder’ and cautions that the old ‘alcoholism’ model isn’t very scientific.”

    • Rob@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      2 years ago

      Seriously! The new model and terminology have been around for a decade or so! Why aren’t more people aware of them yet? throws hands up in frustration

      But, having said that, now deny that you have an alcohol use disorder without sounding like you have an alcohol use disorder😏

  • DaGeek247@kbin.social
    294·
    2 years ago

    Only acoholics actually need to try to convince others that they aren’t alcoholics. Nobody goes up to a person on the street to start aggressively asking if they have a drinking problem.

    Any serious questions about how alcohol is affecting your life will quickly demonstrate whether it is is or isn’t a problem, without you ever saying that you don’t have a drinking problem.

  • GoroAkechi@lemm.ee
    15·
    2 years ago

    It’s pretty easy, actually. I drink around twice a month. No one could credibly accuse me of alcoholism.

  • habanhero@lemmy.ca
    186·
    2 years ago

    It’s because denial is part of being an alcoholic. The same goes with being called a liar.

    • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
      7·
      2 years ago

      Except when it’s not. I so much hate this rhetoric. You know what? You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine. That’s why OP’s question is so hard to answer. Because everybody is just parroting this rhetoric.

      And “you are clearly an alcoholic” comments in 3, 2, 1…

      • habanhero@lemmy.ca
        14·
        2 years ago

        You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine.

        I mean that’s exactly the issue lol. You might not be an alcoholic, but if you were there’s a solid chance you’d deny that fact.There is a good reason why parts of the 12 step program involve admitting and recognizing that there is a problem, and it’s not limited to alcoholism but substance abuse in general.

        A lot of people who genuinely need help refuses to see or admit that they do.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
          1·
          2 years ago

          If someone has problem x but doesn’t want others to know about it, how would they behave?

          If someone didn’t have problem x and didn’t want others to think they did, how would they behave?

          And most importantly, how would you differentiate between the two cases? Don’t just stop after the first question.

          • habanhero@lemmy.ca
            1·
            2 years ago

            In both cases I think they would deny it.

            I don’t have a solution for the 2nd situation (and I don’t think anyone really does), this is more of a social problem. The point I’m making is that in the first scenario there is a clear pattern of denial for those who need help.

            In terms of how you differeniate it, my understanding is if the behavior is impacting your life negatively then you would seek help. But I’m not an expert and that’s not a problem we are solving here.

    • Rob@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 years ago

      The same goes with being called a liar.

      Every statement I make is a lie.

  • LoraxEleven@lemmy.world
    10·
    2 years ago

    That’s exactly what a fuckin boozer would say, also.

    Although… I’ve been drinking since about October o’clock… so, what the fuck would I know about it, anyways.

    (I say: they can stop anytime you want me to.)

    Cheers!

  • Rosco@sh.itjust.works
    8·
    2 years ago

    I really should reduce my consumption, I’ve always hang around people that tend to get wasted on a weekly basis. Getting tipsy is enjoyable, but more than that is just fucking stupid. I also find it hard to talk about stuff with them, or to do meaningful activities, they just want to drink a lot and act like dumbasses in night clubs. So boring. I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly. It’s the same when I hang out with strangers. My hard limit is 3 drinks per night now.

    • MonkRome@lemmy.worldEnglish
      41·
      2 years ago

      I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly.

      I don’t know anyone like this. All, my friends, and my friends friends, do normal things like go out to eat, do something outdoors, play games, just talk, sit around a fire pit, etc. On a rare occasion a few will get drunk or high, but it is not a regular thing for any of us, sounds like you just surround yourself with 1 dimensional people with little to offer.

      • Rosco@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        2 years ago

        I wouldn’t call them “1-dimensional”, and they do have things to offer, but they go out to lose themselves, and drink like crazy. When we do have discussions they’re very interesting, and we sometimes do activities unrelated to drinking, but they’re not willing to go there often. Again, I meet these people at events in bars, so it’s very likely that they’re into drinking. My friends back home have mellowed quite a bit and we do normal stuff now. It’s just hard to meet new people outside school/workplace if you don’t have hobbies and you don’t want to go to bars or nightclubs.

        • MonkRome@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 years ago

          Yeah meeting new people isn’t easy once you’re out of school. If you are outgoing there are definitely avenues though. There are meetup groups for everything. You might not have hobbies, but you still do things. You bike? Go to the local riding meetup. You like boardgames? Sign up for your local open play at a boardgame store. You cook? Take a cooking class at a kitchen store or co-op. Anything you do, there is probably already a local group meeting up to do it.

    • Hagdos@lemmy.world
      2·
      2 years ago

      Find new friends. Not even most people are like this, unless you’re in college age. Even then they are others who don’t want to get wasted regularly

      • Rosco@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        2 years ago

        You’re right, I’m 27 in a new country, and I meet people at meetups events (they very often takes place in a bar), so I’m bound to find people that are only interested in getting wasted. I’ve been meaning to pick some hobbies and find friends this way, I should get to it.

        • Hagdos@lemmy.world
          2·
          2 years ago

          I was gonna say the best way to meet new friends is to pick up a hobby, but then you already said it. Go get em.

      • DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social
        111·
        2 years ago

        Yeah I’m going to have to agree. I’m an alcoholic myself and this is a problematic way of living with it. Moderation seldom works for alcoholics as it is and by putting your choice to drink on someone else’s offerings seems to just be a way to escape any blame should it end in full relapse.

        Everybody’s journey is different though so I’m not going to judge. But at no point was I able to stop drinking until I straight stopped drinking. As they say “one drink is too much and a hundred isn’t enough.”

        • protist@mander.xyzEnglish
          7·
          2 years ago

          You may be surprised at the spectrum of human experience. Among those for whom drinking becomes a problem at some point in their life, a substantial majority are actually able to moderate or regulate their drinking, either on their own or with limited support. There are a subset of problem drinkers who absolutely cannot do this though, and those for whom a single drink can send them spiralling.

          I’m not saying what that other guy is doing is smart, but like you said, everybody’s journey is different

          • DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social
            2·
            2 years ago

            Problem drinking and alcoholism aren’t the same though. 9 out of 10 excessive drinkers aren’t alcohol dependent. So yeah, while many people who at some point have a problem with drinking can learn to moderate without future issues, I don’t know if most of them would fall into the alcohol dependency category.

            • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
              2·
              2 years ago

              That’s kind of the issue though. There is no distinction in the eyes of the public, many in the medical field, and even those in recovery themselves.

              According to one of the questionnaires about being an alcoholic I saw in college. Every single college student was an alcoholic if they ever took a drink.

    • jak@sopuli.xyz
      62·
      2 years ago

      Can I try to gently press that a little?

      I would feel awful if I found out I had been enabling someone’s alcoholism, especially if they only allowed it because they trusted me and I offered them drinks. I have ADHD and autism, so I understand making yourself hard and fast rules to avoid having to make your own self control (I’m not saying that’s definitely what you’re doing).

      Could you perhaps try gradually increasing the rules one by one so that in the end there’s basically no scenario in which you drink? I’m talking: a trusted person offers it to you; it’s a weekend; it’s nice weather out; your whole house is clean; you’ve got extra cash; you ate healthy that day; you are already in a good mood; your beloved (hopefully incapable, for this situation) sports team has won; you talked to two relatives that day, etc. I’m not a therapist, but that works for me. The problem is when I mess up- my rules are great for keeping me out of trouble, but they make me spiral if/when I do break them. You might have to figure out a combination of zero tolerance for “mistakes” and allowing yourself to make actual mistakes without spiraling.

  • TheDoozer@lemmy.world
    8·
    2 years ago

    “I have about three drinks a week and get drunk maybe once or twice a year. I’d say I’m the picture of moderation, but I’m not really concerned with how you feel about my drinking habits.”